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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 01/23/2015 4:38:03 AM PST by Lucky9teen

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To: Lucky9teen

41 posted on 01/23/2015 7:03:09 AM PST by Slyfox (To put on the mind of George Washington read ALL of Deuteronomy 28, then read his Farewell Address)
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To: Lucky9teen

A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

‘What troubles you, Sister?’ asked the Mother Superior .. ‘I thought this was the day you spent with your family.’

‘It was,’ sighed the Sister. ‘And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.’

‘I seem to recall that,’ the Mother Superior agreed. ‘So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?’

‘Far from it,’ snorted the Sister. ‘In fact, I even took the Lord’s name in vain today!’

‘Goodness, Sister!’ gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. ‘You must tell me all about it!’

‘Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother Superior - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dog leg left and a hidden green.....and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.

And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight !’

‘Oh my!’ commiserated the Mother. ‘How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister!’

‘No, that wasn’t it,’ admitted Sister. ‘While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!’

‘Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!’ sympathized the Mother.

‘But I didn’t, Mother!’ sobbed the Sister. ‘And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!’

‘So that’s when you cursed,’ said the Mother with a knowing smile.

‘No, that wasn’t it either,’ cried the Sister, anguished, ‘because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!’

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...

‘You missed the f***** putt, didn’t you?


42 posted on 01/23/2015 7:11:25 AM PST by Twotone (Truth is hate to those who hate truth.)
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To: Liberty Valance

43 posted on 01/23/2015 7:17:07 AM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Liberty Valance

Oh my!


44 posted on 01/23/2015 7:17:58 AM PST by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: a fool in paradise

45 posted on 01/23/2015 7:22:45 AM PST by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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To: Lucky9teen
"Vive La France!"

46 posted on 01/23/2015 7:23:20 AM PST by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Totally Late but IN!


47 posted on 01/23/2015 7:31:43 AM PST by TADSLOS (The Event Horizon has come and gone. Buckle up and hang on.)
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To: Lucky9teen

The answer is 2. Only took about 3 minutes...despite my higher education.


48 posted on 01/23/2015 7:41:16 AM PST by The_Balvenie
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To: Lucky9teen

2581 = 2

Took me an embarrassingly long time to figure it out. Once I reread the intro I realized the key was that pre-schoolers would get it first.


49 posted on 01/23/2015 8:00:36 AM PST by notsofastmyfriend (He is the life of parties he has never attended...)
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To: Lucky9teen

Beer

The cause and the answer to all of lifes problems.


50 posted on 01/23/2015 8:02:58 AM PST by Rightly Biased (<{{>< Avenge me Girls AVENGE ME!!(I ain't got no sons))
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To: Liberty Valance

Now all he needs is some Bob Wills music.


51 posted on 01/23/2015 8:05:04 AM PST by secret garden (Why procrastinate when you can perendinate?)
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To: KC_Lion

Makes me wish I liked beer ;-).


52 posted on 01/23/2015 8:09:04 AM PST by Tax-chick ("A war is not over until the enemy stops fighting." ~ Thomas Sowell)
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To: The_Balvenie

I’m confused. How did you get the answer?


53 posted on 01/23/2015 8:12:54 AM PST by secret garden (Why procrastinate when you can perendinate?)
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To: secret garden

ACHE
HICK
CAN TOP
ANTS


54 posted on 01/23/2015 8:13:30 AM PST by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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To: Tax-chick

ABE
LANE
KISS
DARE


55 posted on 01/23/2015 8:14:34 AM PST by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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To: Rightly Biased

THIS
GUYS
THEY’LL
HYMN IT


56 posted on 01/23/2015 8:15:22 AM PST by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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To: notsofastmyfriend

HAY BUM
PIN
THAN
HEIGHT


57 posted on 01/23/2015 8:16:12 AM PST by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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To: Lucky9teen

LINCOLN
PARK
QUICK
DON’T


58 posted on 01/23/2015 8:16:32 AM PST by Tax-chick ("A war is not over until the enemy stops fighting." ~ Thomas Sowell)
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To: Lucky9teen

Also....


59 posted on 01/23/2015 8:16:50 AM PST by relentlessly
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To: The_Balvenie

ACE
DITCH
HEN
DIME


60 posted on 01/23/2015 8:17:22 AM PST by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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