re: “The fact that she stole the money tells me she wanted no accountability for the way she chose to spend it once she had it.”
You are likely correct. When I was full time on staff at a church several years ago, we had a food pantry that was stocked to provide emergency food for families going through hard times.
Nearly every day we had people stopping in asking for financial help. We had to adopt a policy of never giving out cash, but helping with whatever the need was. If gasoline, we took them to get gas, if rent, we went to their landlord and paid, if groceries, we took them to the market, etc. When people found out we wouldn’t give cash, they usually left not too happy.
The most memorable and head shaking requests I ever got was:
1. “My color tv was broken and would the church buy them a new one?”
2. When dropping off some groceries, the “man of the house” asked me for some extra cash for some “personal items”. When I asked what kind of personal items, - well, “you know, I could use some smokes and a six pack”. At first I thought he was joking, but then he wasn’t. I politely declined.
3. Once had someone call me at the church and demanded that someone in our church store his Mercedes for him for several months (free of course). And, it had to be in an acceptable location and secure facility. He hung up on me when I kept asking him if he was serious.
Wow, that's a good one. We need to start a charity for needy yuppies.
Every pastor has stories to tell. Our church once had a member who relied on the Deacon’s fund solely for her income, claiming she was disabled but unable to get a disability payout from her former employer. When the pastor insisted the church contact an attorney to get her the disability, she suddenly decided she had been “healed” and left the church. We later confirmed that she was pulling the scam on three other churches in town, visiting them each one Sunday a month.
What he remembers most is taking boxes of food and clothing to one particular house. They knocked on the door of the house, and the woman of house opened the door and gestured wordlessly for them to come in.
My b-i-law said they took many boxes of food and clothing into the house. The woman watched them take all the boxes to a room and wordlessly pointed to where she wanted them to place the boxes.
After they were finished the woman ushered them out without saying a word of thanks. He never volunteered for that kind of charity again.
My brother stopped the hordes of non-needy panhandlers who came to his church [he’s a board member] asking for cash for fictional emergencies by first shutting down the automatic handouts of cash the earlier board members had long allowed from the emergency fund, ruling that the church will help with the need but no direct cash without work. He told the first set of panhandlers begging for gas money that he would be glad to provide them with gas money and more ...if they mowed the church lawn first. He pointed to the church mower and the panhandlers fled.
One of the other board members/elders told him “You must be a Republican!”
It worked. The crooks started skipping over the church for easier marks, and there was then more money to get resources for those in real need. The truly needy did willingly do some work, and were rewarded and helped. The church would help you get a car and help with starter bills until you could stand on your own if you were willing.