Posted on 04/14/2015 2:29:17 AM PDT by newnhdad
If $30,000 is the salary potential today, wouldn't you almost have to find a place where the commute is near-zero time or on public transportation? Is that even possible if you live near DC?
Just keepin' it real.
Sounds like you have decided that it isn't worth it but are hesitant to take the leap. Pray on it and list all the pros and cons and any other ramification for either decision. Pray some more and do some of it with your wife and discuss it through with her.
We all bought the line about going to college to be a success. Problem is that now every Joe Schmo is a college graduate, but few of them are truly educated. They have a degree but little value on the job market.
The best way to get out of a dead-end job is to take a risk and try something different. Could your personal likes translate into a new job? Also, try to improve your skills and add new skills to make you more attractive on the job market. If your current job offers training, take advantage of that.
Money alone will not pull you out of the misery of a crap job. However, a new, interesting job (even if lower paid) will satisfy you, inspire you to work hard, and lead to more money.
I moved out to VA nearly two years ago to take a DC job. Money was awesome. Commute was a nightmare. So, I have CHOSEN to move back to Indiana, and take a $30K plus pay cut, to do a job that WON’T keep me up night, WON’T compromise my values, and WON’T force me to sit in traffic 3-4 hours daily. My new commute is 14 min, which includes a stop ant Mcds for my morning coffee.
I will truly miss the VA mountains, and the great folks of the smaller community we chose to live in. But i will NOT EVER miss DC.
You cannot put a price on your health. You cannot put a price on peace of mind. You cannot put a price on raising balanced children. Look for a job closer to home and make up the dollar difference by growing a garden and living frugal. Wealth is not generated by the money you make, but by the money you save.
I agree with you. I’ve done that commute just enough times to know beyond all shadow of doubt that there’s absolutely no way.
I wonder if it might be worthwhile to find a friend with a couch or spare room 1-2 night a week. That might relieve the stress enough to make the commute palatable
Drop the Ambien.
FReepers have so much common sense! I have read through all the posts and good advice is found in all. I can offer a bit of a suggestion, newndad. I remember a talk years ago with my Dad about jobs and such. He told me that no job is unimportant and you should look at each one as a stepping stone. If you aren’t happy with it then use it to your advantage.. i.e. resume material, experience etc... Any future employer will look at a working resume in a brighter light than a non working resume. Thus, IMHO a year at this job and start putting out resumes for another one.
As for your home situation.. my husband works 12 hour days (plus an hour plus commute to Baltimore each way). How we handled the kids was an open discussion about everyone being a team player with responsibilities and expectations that benefit the family. Thus.. the homework is part of their responsibility towards the family unit. So is their behavior at school. In essence, each family member has a “job” and their job is homework/school. To be honest, I don’t know how military families do it when the Dad (or Mom) is deployed for a long time.
Prayers for you and your family. I know you are going through a lot of stress and difficulty. (((Hugs))) Mom
On the other hand, if the job is affecting your health negatively and your family is suffering from your not being there to do the things they depend on, then you really owe it to yourself to determine whether or not this job is worth it.
I've turned down jobs at other companies which have paid much more than I currently make because I felt it was important to be home with my family, and that there was no substitute for my presence in being there for them.
The poster above who said to list the pro's and con's of having the job I think nailed it right. Use the context above (my experiences) to ask yourself the right questions about the job, your motivation in taking it, and what it would mean to the family if you quit.
Don't envy your position but I wish you well in finding the right answer for you.
Not to mention the more you make the more they take. I make roughly $40K more than I did 4 years ago via promotions and a job change. Downside is I bring home less because I have to withhold at a higher rate just to offset the higher tax bracket (already basically max out 401 and charity stuff). All the while people moving here has has increased traffic so my commute over the last year has gone from from 30 minutes to 1 hour 15 minutes one way unless I want to spend $6.50 a day on toll tolls and that only takes off 20 minutes. Not to mention software is not fun anymore at all.
You get screwed anyway you try and better your self it seems.
It doesn’t sound worth it to me, no. That’s just my personal reaction.
My brother was in a similar situation, also in the DC area, long commute. The Ambien messed up his brain. He began having anxiety attacks during the day as he went into withdrawal from the ambien. So his doctor gave him benzodiazepines. Then he was addicted to those. when he ran out of those, he started using half an Ambien instead, during the day. He got into delirium states, became paranoid. Tanked, lost everything. Somehow scraped back up, got re-employed, but he’s divorced, doesn’t see his children often, isn’t happy.
No, it’s not worth it. Not even in the DC area, home of competitive affluence. Don’t mess up your mind and your body. Be available for your children. Skip the fancy new car and the vacations.
I’ve got a friend in the area - she says how do you think people do it? They are stressed out, they are on drugs, sleeping pills, tranquilizers, amphetamines to stay awake and work.
I am not against psychiatric drugs - I am against a lifestyle that requires drugs to sustain.
Aside from the commute, what is it about the job you despise? Do you hate the work itself, the environment, long hours, the pressures of the job itself? You say it is a solid company and you seem to have a good boss. You also say that there is no room for promotion on one hand but on the other hand say you aren’t interested in getting a promotion because you don’t want to “manage other people’s problems”.
You don’t say what type of work it is or your prior job experiences, what you are qualified to do, what career path you’ve been on and what you want in a career path. You indicate something about retail. FWIW I used to work in retail for years. Retail pretty much stinks, long hours, nights, weekends, holidays, ever changing work schedules and hours and putting up with a lot of BS from managers and customers.
I will echo what some others have already said.
Write down a list of the pros in one column and the cons in another.
Think about what you really want to be doing and what type of company, work environment best suits you, and what you can do to better position yourself to get that job in a very competitive job market.
You are always in a better position to find a new job when you already have a job.
Also you need to be realistic. No job is or rarely is everything we want it to be. And also consider that even if you find the “Perfect Job”, things can change in a heartbeat – the company folds, is sold, you get a new boss, new management that you don’t like, they change your job duties, put more pressure on you to perform….and I will also mention that a shorter commute does not always equate with overall job satisfaction. One of the worst and most stressful and unsatisfying jobs I’ve had was a short ten minute commute.
I will also give you a little advice from an HR prospective when interviewing for a new job.
Especially if you haven’t been at this job very long, a prospective employer is going to want to know why you are looking to leave so soon. Here you have to be careful on your answers and try to keep them positive. You don’t want to say things like: “they work me too hard” – that may sound like you don’t want to work hard; “I can’t handle the stress” – they may think you are overly sensitive and want a cushy job with few demands on you; “I don’t like how management runs the company” – big red flag for a hiring manager or experienced HR person, it makes it sound as though if you are hired you are going to come to the job day one thinking you know better how to run things or are going to be a constant complainer; “I want to spend more time with my family” – could sound like you may want more flexibility than what the employer may be willing to accommodate.
While you want to be honest, you need to keep it positive. You don’t want to allow the interviewer get you to say negative things about your current job or the management, rather you want to try to keep the focus on why you would be a good fit for their job and company, what skills and experience you bring. You could tell them that you find the commute too long and or that this commute is effecting your “quality of life, time spent with your family” but I wouldn’t dwell too much on that. You might want to say something like “I went into the job very enthusiastic but have found it’s not a good fit for me as my skills are not being fully utilized……the job duties were not as described or what I was lead to believe” but again be careful with this and also try to include some positive things you’ve accomplished while there.
Here’s my comment as you already have some good sugestions here.
Dang Obama’s 6 year recession. The economy stinks for everyone and the job market couldn’t be worse. That would be my campaign theme if I were running for President - it’s the economy stupid!
Unless you really like enough stress to keep you up at night, I’d say life is too dang short to be miserable. As stressed as you sound, I’d say you’ve already decided.
My granddad used to say, “if you ain’t happy, *DO* something about it.”
If I were you, I’d start looking elsewhere right now, bank every spare penny I had and jump the fence to greener pastures when the opportunity presents itself. Knowing there is a self-driven light at the end of the tunnel may help make your current situation a bit more bearable until you can get out from under it.
I would expect about an extra 5k (at least) added into annual auto and gas costs for that long a drive in the DC area. Expense anything you can.
That said, it's better than no job at all. I'd stick with it a while longer, while keeping my head up for other opportunities. Above all else, ask God to help you onto the path that's best for you.
One day I went into the office and my boss told me that he was cutting me down from five days a week to one day a week. My pay would be cut accordingly. This was a complete shock, I had no idea things were that bad.
I spent the next week just being in shock.
Then I cut expenses; stopped all the luxuries, canceled the bottled water, newspaper, cable TV, everything that was not absolutely necessary.
Next, I got a bartending job four nights a week for extra income and for the next six months, until things picked up at the office, I have to say I enjoyed my life so much more than before, had so much more free time, and those luxuries I didn’t even miss.
It’s not how much you make, it’s how much you spend.
We do what we have to do and that sometimes means taking on a job and commute like what you've described.
Been there, done that in Phoenix traffic to and from Tempe from North Phx. in the stop and go, sweltering parking lot that was I-17 and I-10 back then before any of the loops were built.
Fwiw, I did my time, got paid and moved on before it took too much of a toll. The toll it did take was too heavy a burden and the price for it too high, no matter how much it paid.
And it's still a bad memory...
Hard to give advice without feedback. But here goes. For a 30,000 raise I’d move. Actually I’ve done just that several times. Family is second on the list after the Good Lord so if you can’t move and you are a single parent stay close to home take less money and spend less money. And ditch the ambien. Listen to a book on your long commute.
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