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British woman tries to charge monkeys with sexual assault
Toronto Sun ^
| June 1, 2015
| Postmedia Network
Posted on 06/01/2015 3:48:25 PM PDT by rickmichaels
A British woman was reportedly rebuffed by police when she tried to file a sexual assault report against a pair of monkeys.
According to the Olive Press, an English-language newspaper in Spain, Melissa Hart, 23, was visiting Gibraltar, a British Overseas Territory at the entrance to the Mediterranean, when a couple of barbary macaques pulled at her clothes and hair to the laughter of other tourists.
"I felt totally helpless as these two monkeys grabbed and pawed me in my most intimate areas," she reportedly told the paper.
"Then, with a yank, one of them pulled my bikini top straight off.
"I was being sexually assaulted and these people all thought it was a great joke."
She filed a police report, to no avail. Cops told her monkeys cannot legally commit crimes, the Olive Press reports.
TOPICS: Weird Stuff
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To: rickmichaels
“...and”, she sobbed, “they haven’t even written, called, or sent flowers...”
2
posted on
06/01/2015 3:50:21 PM PDT
by
silverleaf
(Age takes a toll: Please have exact change)
To: rickmichaels
Howard Cosell: Look at that little monkey run!
3
posted on
06/01/2015 3:50:22 PM PDT
by
Veggie Todd
(The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. TJ)
To: rickmichaels
British women need to stick with the mussies instead of social climbing to monkeys.
4
posted on
06/01/2015 3:51:09 PM PDT
by
rrrod
(Just an old guy with a gun in his pocket.)
To: rickmichaels
Need a good monkey gun in Gibraltar I suppose
5
posted on
06/01/2015 3:51:56 PM PDT
by
Vaquero
( Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
To: silverleaf
So do monkeys get prison tattoos or convert to islam?
I see a movie of the week coming. “Outside woman, inside monkey”.
6
posted on
06/01/2015 3:52:22 PM PDT
by
cripplecreek
("For by wise guidance you can wage your war")
To: rickmichaels
“Then, with a yank, one of them pulled my bikini top straight off.”
What really ticked her off was when one monkey said, “Spank me.”
7
posted on
06/01/2015 3:52:34 PM PDT
by
Stormdog
(A rifle transforms one from subject to Citizen)
To: rickmichaels
Ten bucks says that the European Court of Human Rights will grant her 50 million Euros for pain and suffering.
To: rickmichaels
"Touch him! Love him! Liebe mein Affe-Mienke!"
9
posted on
06/01/2015 3:53:15 PM PDT
by
dfwgator
To: dfwgator
I’m as happy as a leetle girl.
10
posted on
06/01/2015 3:54:21 PM PDT
by
cripplecreek
("For by wise guidance you can wage your war")
To: rickmichaels
She was attacked by Muslims?
11
posted on
06/01/2015 3:56:01 PM PDT
by
Viking2002
(The Avatar is back by popular request.)
To: rickmichaels
Sounds like the monkeys have a higher IQ than Melissa.
12
posted on
06/01/2015 3:56:03 PM PDT
by
jazusamo
(0bama to go 'full-Mussolini' after elections: Mark Levin....and the turkey has.)
To: rickmichaels
A couple of “barbary macaques,” eh? Probably Muslims.
13
posted on
06/01/2015 3:58:02 PM PDT
by
Cicero
(Marcus Tullius)
To: rickmichaels
Greaaat...now there’s gonna be a dumb bimbo carrying a monkey mattress everywhere she goes...
14
posted on
06/01/2015 3:58:51 PM PDT
by
dware
(Yeah, so? What are you going to do about it?)
To: rickmichaels
What the heck was wrong with the other tourists that they’d just stand aside and laugh?
15
posted on
06/01/2015 3:59:36 PM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
To: rickmichaels
I was always suspicious of their relationship.
16
posted on
06/01/2015 4:02:19 PM PDT
by
Bratch
To: rickmichaels
Video? For investigative purposes.
17
posted on
06/01/2015 4:08:30 PM PDT
by
McGruff
(For Rent)
To: rickmichaels
18
posted on
06/01/2015 4:10:02 PM PDT
by
Flag_This
(You can't spell "treason" without the "O".)
To: McGruff
Tell her to take a shower once in a while! Bet she stinks!
19
posted on
06/01/2015 4:10:55 PM PDT
by
Dr. Bogus Pachysandra
(Don't touch that thing Don't let anybody touch that thing!I'm a Doctor and I won't touch that thing!)
To: rickmichaels
20
posted on
06/01/2015 4:11:10 PM PDT
by
JoeProBono
(SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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