Need advice from current/former military

self | self

[ParityErr]

Hey all! I need some advice from former or current military members. My daughter and her high school sweetheart got married a couple of weeks ago. He's currently active duty Marine stationed at Camp Pendleton. He's been there only about a year. Great kid and great Marine. He had to return to base while she stays here while waiting until they can send their marriage license through channels so they can get their housing allowance and get an apartment. A little screw up has added a couple of weeks to the wait.

The problem is that he pulled the trigger early and submitted paperwork that he wouldn't need base housing at the end of July. According to him(this is through my daughter) to re-submit for base housing would take weeks and by the time it went through they would be ready to move off base. With the lousy pay they get he can't afford to pay for an apartment without his housing allowance.

I suggested staying with a fellow Marine that lives off base but that isn't an option. I also suggested that he speak to his sergeant but according to him that also isn't an option. He's a great kid but a little wet behind the ears so maybe there's an option that he doesn't know about. I figured with the amount of Military people on this board I could get some good advice. Thanks

[ParityErr]

Thanks for the link. I’ll send it to her. They have found an apartment complex in Oceanside where some of his married Marine buddies live.

[Afterguard]

All good info above. The Morale Welfare and Recreation infrastructure on any sizable base of any service will bend over backwards to help young married enlisted personnel. As someone said above though, the FIRST thing they need to do is to get your daughter a dependant ID card. She must have that to be eligible for anything including medical care, even if she is living with you until they get their residence issues ironed out. Nothing will be easy until she has that ID. I also second the concept of Navy Lodge as temp housing. Most are modern, comfortable, and available at below the local hotel/motel market prices and housing allowance can be used to supplement the cost. God bless them both. It can be a great life! Mrs Afterguard and I started our life together at NATC Memphis when I was an E-3 forty-six years ago...

[Yosemitest]

Don't do it !
ANY Christian still working for the Military under this ILLEGAL ALIEN IN CHIEF, is in ETERNAL DANGER !
You cannot serve God and Satan also !

He's a BIBLICAL CURSE !

Remember:
Don't let anyone deceive you in any way,
for [that day will not come] until the rebellion occurs
and the man of LAWLESSNESS is revealed,
the man doomed to destruction.
He will oppose and will exalt himself over everything that is called God or is worshiped,
so that he sets himself up in God's temple,
proclaiming himself to be God.
Don't you remember that when I was with you
I used to tell you these things?
And now you know WHAT is holding him back,
so that he may be revealed
at the proper time.
For the secret power of LAWLESSNESS is already at work;
but the one who now holds it back
will continue to do so
till he is taken out of the way.
And then the LAWLESS ONE will be revealed,
whom the Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of his mouth
and destroy by the splendor of his coming.
The coming of the LAWLESS ONE will be in accordance with the work of Satan
displayed in all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders,
and IN EVERY SORT OF EVIL
THAT DECEIVES those who are perishing.
They perish
because THEY REFUSED to love the truth
and so be saved.
For this reason
God sends them
a POWERFUL DELUSION
so that THEY WILL BELIEVE THE LIE
and so that ALL will be condemned
who have NOT BELIEVED the truth
but have DELIGHTED in wickedness.

[OldSmaj]

I also suggested that he speak to his sergeant but according to him that also isn't an option.

Take it from me...an old retired Sergeant Major...speaking to his sergeant is always an option and should be his first option.

I think his chain of command can solve this problem very easily and if it's the worst one he's had so far, then his future career is bound to be charmed.

[Yosemitest]

Either have the marriage annulled, or have him GET OUT of the military, RIGHT NOW !
NEVER SERVE UNDER A MUSLIM REPROBATE !

[AppyPappy]

So between their two incomes, they can’t afford a place?

Sorry, I’m not good at reading between the lines.

[Citizen Tom Paine]

See the Chaplain on base. Call the Salvation Army and some local churches to see if they will give him lodging or money. See the senion Sergeant (E-7 or E-8.In the Navy, he should talk to his Division Officier.

Good Luck

[xone]

Don't do it !

Too late, he's already in.

[sarasmom]

err...It doesn’t sound like your daughter and new son in law planned this out very well, at all!

Perhaps I’m just odd, but I lived off base on my own dime for years (and worked the part time job I needed to pay the rent) as a single airman, and a few years later, for a while, as a married airman, before my rank and time in service eventually qualified us to apply for base housing and off base housing allowance as married enlisted persons.

It’s not automatic for very junior enlisted members to qualify for family housing allowances, on base or off.

Uncle Sugar is frequently stupid, but not entirely insane!

[xone]

Either have the marriage annulled, or have him GET OUT of the military, RIGHT NOW ! NEVER SERVE UNDER A MUSLIM REPROBATE !

Certifiably nuts.

[ParityErr]

So between their two incomes, they can’t afford a place?

Sorry, I’m not good at reading between the lines.

No, she's still in College and he's just over a year into the Marines. I just spoke to her again and he's talking to housing. He doesn't know that i'm asking here and would probably be embarrassed. This could be just my daughter freaking out and not him.

[OldGoatCPO]

First he needs to go see his Family Readiness Officer. His FRO is the commands resource manager and will assist him and your daughter. Second he needs to get your daughter in DEERS. For that HE and SHE need to take the paperwork to The ID Card center. She gets her DOD ID Card at that time. Then he has to go to IPAC because they not the command get him in the system as married. I am assuming Pendelton has an IPAC like Lejeune.

He is better off in base housing, no one will,turn off his electricity or evict him. If he deploys your daughter is better off in housing then in an apartment in Oceanside. She cannot not keep running home with each deployment, she need to manage her household. She is married it is time, with a little help,of course. She is better off with you until they get into base housing. I am a FRO and it is getting harder to find ways of assisting young married children who blow money on a tattoo, video game or entertainment system, and struggle to pay rent and utilities. In housing they do not get BHA but they only worry about food and cable TV. Does not hurt a young couple to miss an occasional meal because they miss managed their budget, helps them learn. Besides we have resources to,get food, just not money.
Young Marine needs to get off his a$$ and take care of that young women. I wish them the best and hope God Blesses their union.

[Yosemitest]

I'm retired military with over 26 years.
But I'd NEVER SEVRVE UNDER THAT ARAB-KENYAN-MUSLIM PIECE OF CRAP !

[Yosemitest]

I'm retired military with over 26 years.
But I'd NEVER SERVE UNDER THAT ARAB-KENYAN-MUSLIM PIECE OF CRAP !

[xone]

Like you said, you’re retired. I wonder what would have happened approaching 16 or 17.

[ParityErr]

First he needs to go see his Family Readiness Officer. His FRO is the commands resource manager and will assist him and your daughter. Second he needs to get your daughter in DEERS. For that HE and SHE need to take the paperwork to The ID Card center. She gets her DOD ID Card at that time. Then he has to go to IPAC because they not the command get him in the system as married. I am assuming Pendelton has an IPAC like Lejeune.

He is better off in base housing, no one will,turn off his electricity or evict him. If he deploys your daughter is better off in housing then in an apartment in Oceanside. She cannot not keep running home with each deployment, she need to manage her household. She is married it is time, with a little help,of course. She is better off with you until they get into base housing. I am a FRO and it is getting harder to find ways of assisting young married children who blow money on a tattoo, video game or entertainment system, and struggle to pay rent and utilities. In housing they do not get BHA but they only worry about food and cable TV. Does not hurt a young couple to miss an occasional meal because they miss managed their budget, helps them learn. Besides we have resources to,get food, just not money. Young Marine needs to get off his a$$ and take care of that young women. I wish them the best and hope God Blesses their union.

Thanks for the information. I'll give her the info. They are good with their money and he treats her very well. I couldn't have asked for a better SIL. One item that i'm curious from what you said is that if he gets deployed his housing allowance stops? He may know this but I don't.

[The Black Knight]

I’ll absolutely send this to a Gunny tomorrow. In the meantime, I’ll clear up some stuff so that you understand the process and maybe understand options.

Every enlisted member receives a housing (BAH) and food (BAS) allowance. Even kids straight out of basic training. If they are staying in barracks and eating at the chow hall, that pay is then automatically deducted back out of their check and they never see it outside of their LES statement. That process ends once they reach a certain rank, or get married.

What it sounds like here, is that your son in law still hasn’t gotten the marriage license submitted yet. If you can’t prove that you are married, they continue taking that money and you stay in barracks until you do. Once he will get his license turned in, he will get to keep the BAH and BAS and that is how they will pay for an apartment. It will probably get added to the next month’s pay, so there may be a couple week delay, but it will be there.

So, somehow, HE will get shelter. If they are still taking his money for barracks life, then he will stay in the barracks and get nothing extra. Obviously, he should do that and his wife should stay with you until the paperwork gets straight. Once they release that money in his paycheck instead of taking it back ($1869 for Camp Pendleton with dependants, according to The Google), he is responsible for using that money to find shelter. Apartment, hotel, trailer, whatever.

Now, if they are taking his money back AND not letting him stay in the barracks, then there is a serious issue that needs to be addressed by his chain of command. Immediately.

Last but not least, someone saying that “bringing it up with the Sergeant is not an option” actually made my head spin. As an NCO myself, this is quite possibly the most wrong statement I have heard in a very long time. This is pretty much the purpose of a Sergeant, and DEFINITELY the purpose of the First Sergeant. I’m not going to speculate as to what is going on here, but understand that health and welfare is the First Sergeant’s primary purpose in life. Taking care of their troops is the NCO’s primary purpose in life.

If you have any questions about this long novel I just wrote, feel free to ask. If you want to just message them to me instead, that works too.

[Yosemitest]

I know quite a few that bailed out at 18 and 1/2 years, because that couldn't take the P.C. CRAP any longer.
IT was before the ILLEGAL ALIEN IN CHEIF.
I'm glad I retired before all this MENTAL ILLNESS of our POLITICAL LEADERSHIP.

[ParityErr]

Thanks for the info. All of these replies really have helped me understand what goes on. He is talking to housing today so that will probably be taken care of. He's waiting to submit their marriage license for housing. Like I said earlier, there was a screw up on our part that delayed it.

The reason for the Sergeant comment was that he is up for promotion and he's worried that it will affect it somehow. He's pretty much the "straight laced, do the job and then some" type of guy so I don't know how this would.

[OldGoatCPO]

No, if he gets deployed a lot of young wives leave apartments and go home BHA continues. If he lives in housing his BHA pays his rent and utilities. if your daughter lives in housing it is easier for her to remain in her home vice going home home during deployments. We see lots of young couples use orders to get out of apartment leases, wife goes home during deployment. Some how many of them fail to save money for an apartment, deposits etc.when the service members return.
The housing portion of BHA is what is used to pay for the base housing so yes in effect he never actually gets a housing allowance. As long as he is assigned housing, he does not get a housing allowance in his pay check. Every base differs, we have a plethora of housing so anyone needing a place to live can get a house.