Posted on 11/07/2015 1:26:36 AM PST by lee martell
I was on the stationary bike today, watching one of the TV's hung high on the wall. There was a bout of kickboxers just beginning. The only time I'm really interested in watching televised sports would be for activities in the ring and/or dojo. I tried to recall when was the last time, or one of the last times I ever put fist to jaw in anger? Training doesn't count. One is not even supposed to be in a boxing or martial arts class if you are too agitated, because that force will come out upon your training partner, who will have the urge to retaliate.
I've had a lot of experience in working with mentally ill adults, often much younger than myself. I've gone through training to chose the best approach when confronted by someone upset. First thing is not to escalate the situation if at all possible. That may mean not immediately responding in kind to every unkind word or unsavory tone. Second thing is understand you need not respond immediately to every perceived slight. But what if the tension continues to build? What if it becomes clear that ignoring the source or the troublemaker is not going to work. Third may be to speak with authority, possibly putting an end to the scene. Forth tactic is to let the person talk, some people just need to let go of built up tension. Maybe no one has been listening to them for quite a while.
I have to put on my (now dusty) Thinking Cap and go back, far back to the seventh grade. A classmate wanted me to take a duffle bag box to another area of the school for him. I knew that wasn't the school dufflebag, and that this kid had a reputation for drug dealing. I refused. The classmate took this as my way of saying that i was 'too good' to do anything for him or his friends. The banter went back and forth for a while, until the kid was 1 inch away from my face yelling about people like me, who don't think he's good enough to be friends with. I pushed him away, almost knocking him on his rear. We enchanged a few hits, not much. Mostly bluster. By that time. the school bell had rung for classes to change. The student didn't bother me after that, but I got dirty looks from his little Goon Squad for the rest of the semester. I'm sure you Freepers have better, more sizzling stories, but I don't really.
Even though my fighting experience was very minor, very quick and blood-free, I'm glad I had those few fights, because I felt a little braver about everything else after that. Learning to stay put and deal with a tense situation is a valuable trait.
Are todays' schoolkids ever allowed to fight without being put on detention or even expelled?
I was about 8 ... early 1970s. I learned that my parents would not tolerate fighting. I learned it very thoroughly.
Thanks! I keep more to myself now. I run my small shop, hit the range and put holes in targets for fun and stay around the house more with my wife. I like tea as well, especially at night when I read etc.
Cost me friken $10,000 in legal fees and medical expenses. His medical expenses.
Lesson: Strike first. Use surprise forearm smash. Have good lawyer and be ready to immediately spend 10k in cash.
A long time ago. A bar of course.
What did you learn?
I have been in many fights. Learned long ago the three "F's," First, Fast and Fiercely. Remember, there is no such thing as a "fair fight."
Also, when entering an establishment, one must recon the place for layout, possible threats, exists, etc. Seat yourself with your back to a wall. Keep your hands out of your pockets, and your head on a swivel.
Almost sounds paranoid, huh?
5.56mm
Wish that were true. At age 64 I reacted to a situation I thought was threatening to a neighbor. My temper took over and I touched the supposed perp who turned out to be the neighbor's 17 year old grandson. Long story short, the supposed perp's father (off duty deputy sheriff) was kind enough to withdraw his 9mm from my ear and assist me up off of the ground.
More coffee James!
5.56mm
In high school. Don’t hang out with @$$#$%^s
I was a bouncer for a couple of years while I was in college and it was fight night every freakin’ night. What I learned was to watch the eyes and body movements and then apply a five cell Maglight at the correct moment.
I’ve had the crap kicked out of me several times and that was also a learning experience.
Haven’t been in a fight since high school.I’m 6’4” and weigh 235-plus I work hard on the farm.People tend to be polite to me.
If that happened on Long Island and you were a bouncer at Chaucers Ale House then I saw it. Dude lost a tooth and was getting married the next day. He learned: Don’t decide to kick someone’s ass for no good reason at all.
I have never had a physical fight and I am 75.
In the second, old enough to drive by this time, got hit a couple or three times by a left-handed kid with a right hand lead who thought he was a boxer too... (something about a girl this time too) not much of a boxer really 'cause any smart boxer would not leave himself open to a plain ol' single leg takedown by some dufus like myself and what comes after.
What I learned is that at least for ordinary people, training in a pragmatically effective martial art (rassling and/or boxing, for example, in my case a little rassling with Coach Brown at Daniel Webster Junior Reformatory in OKC, which in hindsight was the best available choice for me) will save your ass.
Also there's wisdom already posted to this thread that I would reiterate... stupid places/things/people, after midnite, other guys' girlfriends, OLD GUYS, etc.
Notwithstanding an invasion of violent people who live in a death cult, (all bets just might be off at that point), live in a way that minimizes one's risk of being assaulted, and to have a surprise, or two, for anyone who does.
Be... ordinary and inconspicuous, right out in the open, as you go about your business. To paraphrase a well-known freeper, be polite, courteous, in fact often deferential to people, but... always have a response within you in case of uh, trouble... no matter how old you are...
Was it you who introduced me to Steinbeck’s wisdom about picking a fight with an old guy?
I taught martial arts for fifteen years. competitive sparring was part of it. I learned you can get pretty beat up winning a fight. there are few good reasons to fight.
11th grade. And it was a doozy, in the locker room, we were both athletes. I learned my so called friends wouldn’t help. I learned your knuckles are what hurt most afterward. I learned that even though I supposedly lost, I damaged the other guy enough that he ran away the next time I saw him.
Good story.
When I was in college at FSU I was in a restaurant/nightclub with some friends actually 3 guys and they were in the back playing pin ball or something. I was coming back from the ladies room and some drunk guy grabbed my wrist and started pulling me toward the front door.
As I was being pulled along I snagged a Bud bottle off of a table and hit him in the head with it. Problem solved. At that point some other guys were already coming to my assistance and I believe that the drunk received what we euphemistically refer to in the South as an Alabama azz kickin out in the parking lot. :-)
Since then I have managed to avoid fist a cuffs in a public setting.
PS: What I learned is carry a gun because you cannot always count on having a Budweiser bottle handy. :-)
Last fight (sort of) was 1976.
I was living in Austin, TX. The apartment complex had its regular bully guy. He was the guy always loud at the clubhouse, changing the channel of the TV in the lounge while you were watching, in your face at the pool, etc.
One night I was in my apartment and there was a cricket in the stack of news papers near the front door. He was driving me crazy. I decided to jump on the stack and squish him. I jumped up on a kitchen chair and was ready to leap. At that moment the bully guy walked past my window. He went nuts over the fact that I was standing on the kitchen chair that belonged to the apartment complex.
I looked at him and he had blood all over his face. As he came through the front door, I hopped of the chair and hit him with a right hook to the jaw. He went down like a bag of bricks. I then turned to his friend who was standing in the door way with a look of “you want some too?”.
The friend was VERY apologetic and said that somebody had just cleaned the bully’s clock down at the pool and he was looking for someone to take it out on. I guess it was me.
The friend took him away. I saw the guy later and guess he did not remember a thing. I was expecting he was going to come after me but he didn’t.
I learned KEEP YOUR DOOR LOCKED.
Now that might be the winning post of the day right there.
I reached out with my left hand, put 2 fingers into his back right next to a shoulder blade and pushed. He straighten right up and started cussing and moving trying to get away from it, so I just kind of swept my arm at the should to keep him moving away from me while I headed for the door. I threw a quick look at the other two as I passed and they backed away about a half step, like they didn't quite know what to make of that. I just kept going.
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