Detroit Driver, Distracted by Cellphone Porn, Crashes & Dies

TTAC ^ | 01/27/2016 | By Ronnie Schreiber

[ManHunter]

And to think my mom was worried about me wearing clean underwear if I were in an accident. Geez, at least I’d have some on...

[WilliamRobert]

The way I understand it he was learning to drive stick.

[bakeneko]

http://www.theonion.com/article/investigators-blame-stupidity-in-area-death-1334

[Responsibility2nd]

The way I understand it he was learning to drive stick.

________________________________

Yeah, but he was to hard on the Clutch and then things went very bad.

[Slings and Arrows]

Mangled genitals/napl/industrial strength humor, and several other possibilities for this one.

Kitty Ping?

[Trillian]

I’ll bet they were pretty mangled. I’d hate to be the one on the scene to clean up that mess.

[AZLiberty]

The DetNews drolly added, “The name of the movie wasn’t known.”

Remember folks, as Mr. Morrison sang, keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel.

I remember a line like that from the '50s tune Seven Little Girls (Sitting in the Back Seat). That's not the video he was watching.

[nothingnew]

Remember folks, as Mr. Morrison sang, keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel.

One of his best IMO. Think I'll have a beer for breakfast.

FMCDH(BITS)

[AZLiberty]

With the right MC, this guy’s funeral could be a real giggle fest.

[martin_fierro]

(Yes, I know its in Ypsi)

♀☹☠☣☢★☆ MANGLED GENITALS PING ☆★☢☣☠☹♂

MOTOR CITY = ICY MR. TOOT

[Billthedrill]

Well, he died doing what he loved best. It’s something.

[shibumi]

"MSP reports that Clifford Ray Jones, age 58, was partially ejected..."

Onanismimus Interruptus?

(I hate when that happens.)

[Mears]

Gee,that’s too bad. Poor guy./s

.

[Professional Engineer]

Whataminutehere:

Toyota Corollas come with a sunroof?

[Chickensoup]

There was a time when things like this stayed private within the police report, for the sake of the family.

How terribly embarrassing for them

[Larry Lucido]

Could have been worse. He could have crashed while updating his blog.

At least what really happened won’t be as embarrassing to his family.

[Springman]

The Mensa member might have been watching kitty porn?

[Gandalf the Mauve]

It’s Detroit.

I thought it took longer than that for lead in the drinking water to cause that kind of brain damage....

[RichInOC]

Nicely put. That’s what I heard also

The way FR has or had the “bang” list for gun-related stories, and the “puff” list for tobacco-related stories, I always thought there should be a list for those kind of stories called the “splat” list.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

He is the original Master Baiter no more . . .

DANG!