OK, thannks France. It almost makes us even for you not speaking German now.
The Complete Military History of France
Excerpt:
The Franco-Prussian War
Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
World War I
Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
World War II
Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.