Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”
He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”
I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.
Now, are you Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of NOVEMBER 1879 or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of DECEMBER 1879?
Careful how you answer.
Fortunately he made it. Me and my Jew pals run the city EMT/Rescue contract. Six grand - not bad for a few pounds of Oxygen, twenty minutes’ work, an old Zodiac and a Johnson 40.
#9. Your handle should be “Bull and void”, not “null and void”.
An Arab was crawling across the desert, saw a Jewish tailor standing by a table.
The Arab asked “Please, I’m dying of thirst, can I have some water?”.
“I don’t have any water, all I have are ties, but there’s a place to eat about twenty miles in that direction, they have water.”
The Arab replied, “I don’t want a tie, I need water.”
The Arab crawled away in that direction.
About twelve hours later the Arab crawled up again, thirstier than before.
“Did you get the water?”
The Arab rasped, “They wouldn’t let me in without a tie.”