He's probably envious of we who not only have lightsabers...
...but who also have a date (July 20th, to be precise :-)
Posted on 05/21/2002 8:12:03 AM PDT by dead
They all look alike. They wouldn't know what to do with a woman. In fact, they're boys, not men. Bernard Zuel writes.
George Lucas is a romantic man. He must be, for it is becoming clear that the Star Wars series is the ultimate date movie for his core audience: the date movie you have when you couldn't get a date, never have managed to get a date and are not likely to get a date this millennium.
Lucas understands that while his audience theoretically is children, in reality it is a certain type of (never quite) grown man. The kind who spends all night playing with his new Xbox. The type who thinks Princess Leia is a credible female character; in fact may be the ultimate female character - well she does end up a virgin in a skimpy bikini.
In short, the type of man who wouldn't know what to do with a real woman if you put the instructions in large print on the back of a still-sealed action figure of Han Solo.
Now, my seven-year-old loves the Star Wars series. It is pitched at her level: the stilted dialogue that sounds like a bad children's novel; the Watch Spot Run plots; the wacky side characters ready for reduced-scale reproduction in plastic. But boys - and let's be honest here, you still are boys aren't you? - what is your excuse? Do the words arrested development ring a bell with you?
What was OK for a pack of teenagers in 1977 is a real worry now, though.
They could be sitting on the Bench tomorrow or handing you a parking ticket or taking your confession on Saturday.
God help us, some of them may eventually, if accidentally, mate. Forget Baise-Moi, this is more of a danger to our comfortable and relaxed society: whole cities of identically warped men making decisions based on a code of living pilfered from John Ford westerns and Rudyard Kipling. Whole cities of men who look alike, too.
I don't mean the costumes they've spent hours perfecting but that pasty-faced, slightly sweaty, eager to please, even more eager to be pleased look of the desperate and dateless. Sure, laugh, but then remember that they watch Star Wars and they vote. Be afraid.
And when I say that there's something out of whack about a room full of identikit men, believe me, I know of which I speak.
A few years ago when Elvis Costello toured Australia, I attended four of his concerts (and no, there's nothing wrong with that at all, thank you very much). Fabulous concerts all, but rather disturbing. Not him, but us: we the audience.
Disconcertingly, we looked alike. So many of us men in our 30s and 40s, glasses, a little heavier than we might prefer, and maybe sporting some facial hair in arrangements that suggested masculinity with dignity (we thought) or silly bits of fungus (you may prefer).
But before any of you Lucas-nerds reach triumphantly for your smug sneers (they're over there, behind your Millennium Falcon replica) I would like to point out one small thing.
While you're still wondering whether the first date is too early to ask the girl in accounts to dress like Queen Armidala, most of the Costello-nerds were with wives/partners/female fellow fans: you know, fleshy human types not dressed in any way like a character from a Costello song.
We may be sad but we're not tragic.
The good Doctor's show had the most expansive setting and the best stories of any sf show at the time. Too bad the effects sucked and there wasn't much focus on continuity (three different explanations for the destruction of Atlantis!) Still, I think it would make a bang-up TV show again if done with today's $1 million/episode budgets.
"What do you do for an encore, Doctor?""I win."
Ahh...those were the days...
He played the Doctor in the movies, didn't he? I have never seen the motion pictures--but I can see old Moff as the Doctor. He has a good "look."
I thought one of the cooler moves on Attack of the Clones was getting Christopher Lee, my favorite Dracula to play Count Dooku.
Star Wars earned more than 150 million in the first week, right?
Probably going to earn more in the next few weeks, right? More, perhaps, than every "chick-flick" ever earned (except the boat picture) put togther. More than every
Now, comparing this jerk's salary with those numbers....who do you think knows more about who goes to films?
The "West Hollywierd" types who vote for Oscars and talk a lot among themselves, or the ILM group who makes good movies?
Good Catch, thanks!
Sounds like a recipe for a healthy and vigerous world to me.
So9
You know, I have DirecTV, and whenever they ran a promo for this movie, I swear they pronounced it 'Chuckaluck'. I couldn't help laughing every time I heard it.
He's probably envious of we who not only have lightsabers...
...but who also have a date (July 20th, to be precise :-)
And the problem is???????
I dated a Stars Wars fanatic with mixed success when I was 25. He was actually quite romantic, but the action figures collection he had in his bedroom gave me the screamin' willies, and made me feel a little like I was dating someone's little brother.
Nice as Star Wars guys may be... I am quite sure the best date is a Lord of the Rings fanatic. I dig guys that can can speak poetry in Elvish, or will admit to getting teary eyed at the choices of Master Samwise or the fall of Boromir. Here's to all the good LoTR lovin' men I know (I hope I have not forgotten anyone!)
Hey, I do LOTR too! :-)
As much as I was anticipating "Attack Of The Clones", it's **really** left me feeling flat and unimpressed. The only two characters who really "felt" like they were straight out of classic Star Wars were Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Count Dooku (Christopher Lee, who has the most WICKED Star Wars villain of all time with this role IMHO). I wanted to cry at least once during Episode II: never happened.
By contrast, not only did my fiancee and me cry at times during "Fellowship Of The Ring", but during the trailer for "The Two Towers" as well :-)
- Doesn't TTT look great? - At least you have that to look forward to! - Sorry about AOTC...
I'm off to take the 13-year-old to see it tonite. Funny how I got two kids never having had a date...
I'm beginning to believe what a lot of people are now saying, what's been said since "Return Of The Jedi", even: that Lucas has a beautiful tale worked out in the Star Wars saga, but in terms of executing it as the director... well, this isn't his strong suit. He should have executive produced instead.
Where did you hear of the cut scenes? from trailers and things?
Winks and smiles maq.... I misplaced but did not forget you!
A&E's Biography show is doing Star Wars Biographies this week. Naturally they did Lucas on Monday. They showed Harrison Ford saying that at his first meeting with Lucas for American Grafitti, Lucas encouraged him to get involved with animated film making, since you didn't have to bother working with actors. It looks like Lucas knew what he did best all the way back at the beginning.
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