Bill of Rights for Cats (MEOW Alert)

WTV Zone ^ | 13 December 2002 | Unknown

[PetroniDE]

THE CAT'S BILL OF RIGHTS

1. Humans shall make no law respecting an establishment of boundaries or prohibiting the free exercise therein, or abridging the freedom of access, or the right to peaceful assembly. In other words: The cat is entitled to go outside anytime he wants.

2. A well-carried provisional chamber, being necessary to the fulfillment of a feline's whims, shall not be infringed. In other words: The cat is entitled to EAT anytime he wants.

3. The right of the feline to be secure in their domain and effects against unreasonable discomposure, shall not be violated. In other words: The cat is entitled to SLEEP anytime he wants.

4. Humans shall issue no warrants or decrees or edicts as prescribed to the demarcation of possessions or property which are in direct conflict with right of life, liberty and the pursuit of feline affirmation. In other words: The cat is entitled to sleep ANYWHERE he wants.

5. The feline shall be immune to all criminal accusations, indictments and complaints. The accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and impartial dismissal of any and all charges provided said feline's compulsory right to obtain any or all witnesses, including character witnesses, are obtained in his favor. In other words: Cats can do anything they want as long as it's cute.

6. Neither serfdom, vassalage, or involuntary servitude will be tolerated, except by said cats in proprietorship of their humans. In other words: What I say goes. (And I say feed me ... Again.)

7. No Canis familiaris shall, in time of peace or at any other time, be quartered in any dwelling without the consent of the potentate, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by sovereign. In other words: No dogs in the house without my permission.

8. The right of the feline to be protected against unreasonable search and seizures shall not be breached or infringed upon at anytime or any place. In other words: Don't disturb me when I am sleeping.

[PetroniDE]

Here Kitty Kitty Kitty

[PetroniDE]

Pinging HAT Freepers and last known possessor of the cat ping list.

[dirtboy]

My two cats get to stay home, sleep, eat, hunt birds and have someone clean their litterbox. I get to wake up early, go to work, pay for their food and clean their litterbox. Which species is more advanced?

[Fish out of Water]

bump

[Constitution Day]

The feline Bill of Rights is NOT in effect in the Constitution Day household!
Muahahahahaha! </ evil laughter>

[wimpycat]

Tyrant!

[Constitution Day]

LOL! I'm just messing with you cat people. :)

[CholeraJoe]

The people at Bonsai Kitten have the right idea.

[SAMWolf]

Bump!

[Constitution Day]

Ruh roh, CJ.
I hope you put your asbestos suit this morning!

(Seriously, I've seen that site and don't understand how some people think it's for real!)

[Gun142]

Only a cat owner could do such a thing
:P

[petuniasevan]

So what's wrong with these rules? ;-D

[Jen]

Radu, have you seen this?

[GreenCell]

When the cat starts paying the bills, she/he/it can have all the right they want....in the interim, it's out the door if you don't behave. I'm sure there's a mouse or two outside that could be caught (Or do they have rights too..?)

[Terriergal]

lol!

[Terriergal]

I'm assuming this is supposed to be a humorous piece. :-)