Posted on 08/01/2004 8:43:49 AM PDT by .cnI redruM
Dowd displays a rather frightening fixation with Gilligan's Island. The evil part of mind wonders if she used to call Michael Douglas The Skipper during their intimate moments. She asks the philosophical question about Senator Kerry. "Does He Float Your Boat?"
It was a subtle reminder of Candidate Kerry's swiftboat days. Further proof that he was.....a VIETNAM VETERAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So let's dive into Maureen Dowd. Let's muck the depths of her trolladytic mind.
A good diver starts by properly tanking up, and I never reccommend a Maureen Dowd column with a good stiff vodka tonic. Paragraphs like the one below, immediately make you reach for a second one.
>>>>Her husband, as usual, went overboard. The Democratic convention, which was focus-group-dial-a- metered to death, needed a dose of dramamine. It was awash in allusions about Commander Kerry steering the ship of state - from the curved design of the metal and wood-paneled lectern, meant to evoke a ship's bridge; to the Massachusetts senator's arrival in Boston Harbor on the prow of a ferry, making like Washington crossing the Delaware; to the dramatic Vietnam Swift boat scenes in the biographical film; to Jim Rassman's iconic story of being saved when Lieutenant Kerry reached down and pulled him from the water over the bow, to the nominee's hokey salute and "reporting for duty."<<<<
Thanks Maureen, we got it, Sweetie.
And then there are those Maureen Moments. The lines she brings out just to make you regurgitate all of that alcohol before it does any lasting damage to your system. I wouldn't write this about anyone who handles himself in a courtroom as well as Senator Edwards.
>>>>John Edwards was a synchronized swimmer in the Kerry ocean of love:<<<<
I guess that's better than being a charming pet gerbil in Richard's Gerebox of digestive elimination. Just not by much. I can't find a less talented of inspiring writer on the editorial pages today. Perhaps that's only because I don't look very hard for William Raspberry, but Maureen truly stinks up the joint like an overeater who forgets the courtesy flush.
I admit it. I never made it past that line. I'm like a diver who's gone too deep too rapidly. Nitrogen narcosis has set in. Not badly enough to make Maureen seem smart or informative, but enough to err on the side of safety and leave Maureen Dowd submerged in her own murky world.
I'll manage my ascent very carefully. I'd hate to end up like Skipper Kerry and Gilligan Edwards. I perfer to sufficiently decompress on the way back up.
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