I've checked your site out and will visit you again. Why not a "South Park Conservative" Party. Maybe 100 years from now it'll be the dominant party, and the source of the name will only be known to students of history.
Loving the border security part of it, that I will say.
Here is the border issue part of the Platform Intro.
The Border
Mexico - the biggest threat to America since the fall of the Soviet Union. Seems impossible that a backward country like that with no real military could possibly threaten us, right? Well, tell that to an American living in the Southwest. Illegal Mexicans are costing the American taxpayers billions a year in hospital subsidies alone. Normally, this wouldn’t be horrible, since we are the most charitable people in the world. However, things are getting worse. The illegals are not passively and peacefully coming over the border and looking for loved ones and day labor any longer. They are coming over and destroying property, threatening citizens, and making a mockery of our laws.
Recently, the Mexicans living here have become very vocal about taking a big chunk of our country that they call Aztlan and making it their own. No kidding. They will soon have enough people to do so. By the year 2030, at current growth, the Hispanic population will be the majority in this country.
No politician will do anything about this for fear of being called a racist. Racism has nothing to do with this. This is about the survival of our culture, our country. What will America be without California, Texas, Nevada, Arizona, and New Mexico? This is a real danger, and needs to be addressed, and addressed soon.
The recent Minute Man Project along the Arizona/Mexico border was a great success. It proved that with minimal expenditure and very little manpower, America’s southern border could be secured. This is not brain surgery, people. Anyone can see this and figure it out. But, the Republicrats will not do a thing about it. The President called the Minute Men vigilantes. Mr. Bush actually thinks of these men as common criminals. They are doing your job, Mr. President. Protecting our borders against invasion by a foreign power is the role of the federal government.
Oh, what the heck, here's the part before the Border section, as well.
The 2006 South Park Conservative Party Platform
Less Government BS for a Better Tomorrow
A fondness for power is implanted, in most men, and it is natural to abuse it, when acquired.
Alexander Hamilton, The Farmer Refuted, February 23, 1775
Government is not the solution to the problem. Government IS the problem.
Ronald Wilson Reagan, First Inaugural Speech, January 20, 1981
Democrats piss me off!
Eric Cartman, from South Park
Intro
A long time ago, in a crappy little country far, far away, our forefathers decided that they did not want to deal with government oppression any longer. They wanted freedom from religious tyranny, freedom from high taxation, freedom to live their lives they way they wanted to live them without government interference.
In 1776, our fledgling country began its fight for that freedom, and hasn’t looked back. Since America won her independence, she has been known throughout the world as The Land of the Free. Everyone who doesn’t live in the U.S. wants to live in the U.S. The whole world may protest America with half of their free time, but they spend the other half of their free time trying to get over here, legally or not.
We acknowledge that America is the greatest country in the world, and its peoples the best and brightest. When we are free to express ourselves, free to make our own way, we cannot be beaten.
We want to keep it that way.
However, with the U.S. Government growing the way it is, spending the way it is, and NOT doing what it is supposed to be doing, this may be an impossible task. The only possible answer is to have a viable 3rd political party which can either win elections, or scare the Republicrats into doing something RIGHT.
As South Park Conservatives, we’ve had it with the Elites. We’ve had it with the status quo. We’ve had it with Big Government, and its faithful propaganda arm, the Mainstream Media. We’ve had it with political correctness. We are regular people who remember that the government is supposed to be by the people, and for the people. Perhaps this was the case in the beginning, but now the hallowed halls of Congress and the opulence of the White House are reserved for only the richest and most privileged among us who seem to think that the “little people” cannot take care of themselves.
To sum up, we have faith in the people of this country. We know you are the folks that sustain our greatness, not the government. They have very little to do with it.
* * *
The War on Terror
President Bush’s war on terror is everyone’s war on terror. We need a strong military and a strong security force here at home. However, we did NOT need another big bureaucracy in the federal government to do this. Individual states, with the right amount of funding, could easily handle their own security, probably with greater efficiency and effectiveness than the feds could ever achieve. Other than the military, the federal government is notoriously bad at handling pretty much anything. Not that state or local governments are great at everything, but the feds are just the worst of the bunch. They don’t have any sense of teamwork, they only hire based on what race and sex you are, and they can’t fire the bad eggs. So, what we end up with in the federal government is a lot of weak links that cannot be repaired. In short, it would be easier, better, and cheaper to let the States handle their own security. Federal money will be spent on intelligence gathering and the aggressive use of force when needed overseas.
As to the military, well, the Republicans do a pretty good job with funding them, but, being Republicans, they can’t let the military do anything that may offend someone. In war, you don’t worry about those kinds of things, especially when you are dealing with the enemy. Further, this is not the kind of enemy that anyone is used to facing. They are everywhere, and they are not wearing uniforms. Extreme measures may be necessary to root out the bad guys, and sensibilities will be offended. No one likes this, but it is a fact of life.
Airport security is something else that the federal government should have kept their hands off of. Once again, hiring based on race and sex instead of merit plus no firing of slackers equals an ineffective and inefficient system. This needs to be returned to the private sector, with no restrictions on who is hired or fired. Private companies can easily do background checks on potential employees to get them the necessary clearance to be baggage checkers.
Iraq is a completely separate issue, now. We are getting to the terrorists there, but we are also spending too much money on it. Hundreds of billions of dollars are not needed to maintain our military presence there. Why are we not spending their oil money on their country? Iraq has enough oil production potential to make every man, woman, and child in the country millionaires. What is happening? We will make it a point to find out, and do our best to keep your money here at home where it belongs.
As important as the war on terror is, it is not the most pressing issue we Americans face today, although it is related…
The Border (See above post)