Hey,Gang ! Let's Start a Website !!

The Morning Paper | 09/26/05 | vanity

[genefromjersey]

Hey Gang : Let’s Start a Web Site !

(A Cynical Look at Internet Foundations )

Let’s say we’ve got a message to put across – on the Web. We’re not completely sure what we want to say – and won’t know until we see who is willing to come up with the money.

Should we make it Liberal ? Nah. That’s been done to death. Besides,Liberals are generally cheapskates !

Ditto for Conservatives. All the corporate funding is pretty well spoken for.

Libertarian sounds attractive – mostly because nobody can really define what Libertarians stand for . Like the fabled blind men of Hindustan ,who set out to define an elephant, each Libertarian defines one segment – his beliefs - and no one seems able to define the whole “creature”.

There are so many kinds of Libertarians – ranging from “reform Republicans” to “Communitarians” – (Neo-hippies ?), to “Copperheads” that almost anyone should be able to find a usable niche.

Libertarians seem to bash just about everybody –(major contributors excepted) - ; so if we post as Libertarians , we should be able to get contributions from the followers of any party that is out of office – because we will be bashing whoever won – automatically.

There is also a certain amount of – shall we say – foreign “educational funding” available. I have heard it said a fine Russian-based educational organization called “ Federal’naya Sluzhba Bezopasnosti “

http://www.fas.org/irp/world/russia/fsb/

can be generous to those it considers “influential friends”.

The same is true of some of our neighbors in the Middle East. Arabs pay well, and are-truth be known- a “semitic” people; so, if we are supportive of them, we can hardly be called “anti-semitic” , can we ? And, if our screeds happen to sound so “un-American” , they are run on all the al-Qaeda websites – that’s show biz, baby !

(We will, of course, want to set up a Non-Profit Foundation of our own , wherein generous groups like FSB and CAIR, and Colombian mercantile interests can deposit contributions – thereby “laundering” them . More on this later.)

Let’s see: We’ll need an Internet website with a catchy title.

( I had thought about : “ AntiqueWarts.com “ , but was told a similar name is already in use by the well-known Justin Raimondo. Oh well : Back to the drawing board !)

Now let’s get to the Foundation part. It has to sound impressive, and should have an overseas address. ( More panache, you see.)

How does this sound ? “ The Vardor Institute of Skopje , Macedonia .”

Let’s go a little further, and describe it as being located “ in a remote castle on the slopes of Mount Vodna” .

( There is a Vardor River running through Skopje , and Mt. Vodna is the site of an ancient church. So far, so good !)

While we’re at it, we want to set things up so the Institute pays “stipends” to certain “adjunct scholars” , or awards lucrative fellowships- to us, of course !

How about making ourselves “ Charles Lutwidge Dodgson” Fellows - (I’ll save you the Google search: That was the real name of Lewis (Alice in Wonderland) Carroll. ) – in Nyctographic Studies of Non-Linear Polydactylism ?

(It doesn’t mean squat, but it sounds good !)

There you have it : basic outline and business plan.

There’s only one remaining question: Are we amoral enough to go for it ?

[genefromjersey]

Here's a link to that fine Russian educational group:

http://www.fas.org/irp/world/russia/fsb/

[Atlas Sneezed]

All that just for a simple-minded bash of the principles of libertarianism? Perhaps you should read up on the subject before you start taking aim.

[KayEyeDoubleDee]

"Libertarian principles." Haha, that's a good one.

[benjaminjjones]

Hey, maybe you could get some money from my neighbors.

I can tell they're toking up right now, just from the stink of the incense coming in my window.

I'll never understand that. Who burns incense but dope smokers? Like cops don't know that?

[cincinnati65]

On a side note, the missus and I have started the International Water Society. We certify the cleanliness and purity of drinking water, whether bottled or tap.

Anyone needing our certification for such a product need only send a water sample, wrapped in a certified check for $50,000 with "Water Certification" written in the memo section.

We don't want to get these checks confused with the checks going to our International Nutrition Federation.

[Avenger]

"Libertarian sounds attractive – mostly because nobody can really define what Libertarians stand for."

There is already such a website: www.hightimes.com

[genefromjersey]

Ah, there's the rub. I have read up on the subject.