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Karl Rove Is the Father of Anna Nicole's Baby
New Media Journal ^ | 3/29/2007 | Brian Cherry

Posted on 03/29/2007 6:36:28 AM PDT by SunSetSam

Karl Rove fathered Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. In an unforgettable night fueled by alcohol, lust, a lion tamer outfit, a failed attempt to freebase "Sweettarts", an Al Franken blow-up doll and some crimes against nature with a very confused puffer fish, Karl fathered her child. I think we should all be ashamed of Mr. Rove (how much is she worth again?).

Now, admittedly, there is no crime in having sex with Anna Nicole Smith. If that were illegal most of the Western Hemisphere’s male population would be perp walked into a future of Federal incarceration that includes forced labor, strained peas and the sort of orange jumpsuit that even Elvis would consider garish. Whether or not there is a crime here, there is definitely something suspicious going on.

Karl Rove is a portly, yet healthy straight male capable of fathering children. Anna Nicole’s sexuality pendulum had swung back to heterosexual for a time and they were both in and around the vicinity of North America when a currently anonymous sperm cell said “Howdy Do” to one of Anna’s eggs. So it is possible that Karl is the father.

Only a public hearing, with Karl under oath, will get to the bottom of the question about whether or not Mr. Rove got to the bottom of Ms. Smith.

On the face of it, the idea that Karl Rove would even be in the same room as the promiscuous Ms. Smith is ridiculous for two reasons. First Karl is a gentleman who is probably smart enough not to touch women of her sort without rubber gloves and Bactine handy. Second, Anna seems to have a thing for sleazy lawyers of the “Ambulance Chaser” variety. With that said, perhaps we should open hearings about where John Edwards was when Smith’s latest offspring was conceived. This is where we are in the modern political climate though. Regardless of the issue, the Democrats want Karl Rove testifying under oath.

Whether or not a crime has been committed is completely irrelevant. It was not a crime to utter Valerie Plame’s name. Not only was she not a covert operative, but she spent most of her professional career doing everything short of wearing a button on her jacket that stated “Ask me about my CIA job!” to call attention to her position. This fact didn’t matter. Liberals demanded that Rove testify in this case and giddily waited for an indictment to be handed down for the key Bush political advisor. There were nearly riots in blue states when even the Democrats, hand picked special prosecutor couldn’t find a reason to go after Karl.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: annanicolesmith; attorney; firings; karlrove; rymb
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LOL...good stuff
1 posted on 03/29/2007 6:36:30 AM PDT by SunSetSam
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To: SunSetSam

I heard, that in not wanting to miss jumping on a bandwagon, Hillary Clinton claimed paternity in this case... :)


2 posted on 03/29/2007 6:37:47 AM PDT by Keith in Iowa (Attention Liberals! Shhhh, listen closely! That's the sound of nobody caring what you think!)
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To: SunSetSam

News to me. I thought Hillary was the father of Anna's kid.


3 posted on 03/29/2007 6:38:00 AM PDT by LIConFem (Fred Thompson 2008. Lifetime ACU Rating: 86 -- Duncan Hunter 2008 (VP) ACUR: 92)
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To: SunSetSam

Karl you......


4 posted on 03/29/2007 6:38:13 AM PDT by bmwcyle (Freep Fox they drop the ball on GOE)
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To: Keith in Iowa
Darn you!!

;o)
5 posted on 03/29/2007 6:38:27 AM PDT by LIConFem (Fred Thompson 2008. Lifetime ACU Rating: 86 -- Duncan Hunter 2008 (VP) ACUR: 92)
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To: SunSetSam

Rove wouldn't have impressed her with his RAP act.


6 posted on 03/29/2007 6:38:36 AM PDT by AU72
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To: SunSetSam
I'm glad that's over.
7 posted on 03/29/2007 6:38:37 AM PDT by period end of story (Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.)
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To: Keith in Iowa

Ouch!


8 posted on 03/29/2007 6:39:56 AM PDT by wastedyears ("These colours don't run, from cold bloody war." - Steve Harris, Bruce Dickinson)
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To: Lazamataz

C.R.Y.M.B. Ping?


9 posted on 03/29/2007 6:40:25 AM PDT by Rightly Biased (Courage is not the lack of fear it is acting in spite of it<><)
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To: SunSetSam

Rove! You Magnificent Bastard!!


10 posted on 03/29/2007 6:40:39 AM PDT by Bean Counter (Stout Hearts...)
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To: SunSetSam
everything short of wearing a button on her jacket that stated “Ask me about my CIA job!”

LOL! I nearly lost my coffee reading that line.
11 posted on 03/29/2007 6:40:42 AM PDT by CertainInalienableRights
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To: wastedyears

I only posted an excerpt, and am lost how to go back and edit this so it is listed as only an excerpt. HELP!!!!!


12 posted on 03/29/2007 6:41:21 AM PDT by SunSetSam
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To: SunSetSam

Karl Rove is their target. Get him under oath in front of cameras no matter what the cost.
Where were you on the night of January 16th? Who killed Cock Robin? Were you on the Grassy Knoll? What do you know about Pearl Harbor? Have you ever worked for NASA Space Shuttle program?............


13 posted on 03/29/2007 6:43:03 AM PDT by Red Badger (If it's consensus, it's not science. If it's science, there's no need for consensus......)
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To: SunSetSam

Only the mods have that power.


14 posted on 03/29/2007 6:43:26 AM PDT by period end of story (Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.)
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To: SunSetSam

He has more than a few good points....


15 posted on 03/29/2007 6:44:27 AM PDT by Bean Counter (Stout Hearts...)
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To: SunSetSam

Darn, I thought fur sure it was Ted Kennedy !!!!


16 posted on 03/29/2007 6:44:34 AM PDT by Kimmers (Coram Deo)
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To: period end of story

Dang, well the whole thing is pretty good.


17 posted on 03/29/2007 6:45:31 AM PDT by SunSetSam
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To: Kimmers
Darn, I thought fur sure it was Ted Kennedy !!!!

Is he still capable?

18 posted on 03/29/2007 6:46:24 AM PDT by period end of story (Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.)
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To: SunSetSam
a failed attempt to freebase "Sweettarts",

Funny.

19 posted on 03/29/2007 6:47:19 AM PDT by zarf (Her hair was of a dank yellow, and fell over her temples like sauerkraut......)
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To: period end of story
Good question, better living through pharmaceuticals I say.
20 posted on 03/29/2007 6:47:51 AM PDT by Kimmers (Coram Deo)
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