Do you mean he was using a blow up doll???
Posted on 03/11/2008 12:23:47 PM PDT by Izzy Dunne
New York - At a hastily scheduled morning press conference at the headquarters of New York's exclusive Emperors Club prostitution ring, high priced call girl "Kristen" announced that she would temporarily step aside in the wake of charges that she had engaged in sex with New York Governor Eliot Spitzer.
"I made a serious mistake and betrayed the trust of my co-workers, my many clients, and my pimps," she said in a quiet voice cracking with emotion. "I will be taking a leave of absence to earn their forgiveness, and redeem myself in the eyes of the entire expensive whore community."
The embattled prostitute did not mention Spitzer by name, and stopped short of offering an official resignation. But longtime sex industry insiders say that it will be difficult for Kristen to return to her post in light of mounting federal wiretap evidence that she had sexually serviced the Governor on at least two occasions.
"It will be hard for her to spin her way out of this," said Destinee Rizzo, editor of the trade journal Executive Concubine."After taking on clients like that, her days as a five diamond, high-roller suite call girl are over. Frankly, with all the press coverage she'll be lucky to get a job as a $5 truck stop lot lizard in Kentucky."
"The big problem now is to keep this incident from threatening the whole expensive whore industry," added Rizzo.
The revelation brought an immediate and angry reaction from Greymont Preston IV, spokesman for the powerful consumer watchdog group Profligate Wastrels United. "For that kind of money, there's an expectation that these girls have been with Snoop Dogg or Charlie Sheen," said Preston. "But please -- Eliot Spitzer? When our members are spending five thousand dollars to snort cocaine off an ass, they want to know that ass has some standards."
Preston said his organization would push for new industry guidelines, including a "black box" john tracking system, but stopped short of calling for government regulation.
"Unfortunately, that would involve meeting with members of Congress, and many of our member don't want to risk having the photos become public," said Preston.
Lafester "Sly" Williams, president of the Big Dollar Pimp Association, said his group would comply with greater oversight and control systems.
"We want to assure the expensive whore buying public -- whether they are drug dealers, washed out big league ball players, or compulsive gamblers on a temporary hot streak -- that when they purchase one of our products, that fine bitch will now be DNA tested and certified 100% free of contaminants from politicians or journalists," said Williams.
Despite the new assurances, Rizzo says it may take years for the whore industry's luxury segment to recover from the incident.
"The saddest thing is what it done to the youngsters, those starry-eyed 17 and 18 year old boys out there who dream someday of blowing thirty or forty thousand dollars on a hotel room full of beautiful, high end hookers," said Rizzo. "Sure, only a few ever achieve it, but that boyhood dream has always been universal. After the Spitzer incident, thought, I'm just not sure whether that's true anymore."
As to underscore that concern, as Kristen walked toward the exit of the press conference to her waiting 1973 Lincoln Continental Mark IV, she was approached by a teenage boy, a forlorn questioning in his eyes.
"Say it ain't so, Kristen," he begged. "Say it ain't so!"
Her pimp Milt, could not be reached for comment!
Come back Kristen!
Is there a legally blind Vice Hooker to take Kristen’s position?
LOL !
ML/NJ
Why isn’t that liberal/Democrat governor in Jail or why hasn’t he been arrested yet?
Personally, I don’t think there is a Kristen. Where are the pictures?
What did Bush know and when did he know it?!
This thread is worthless without pictures!
She’s asking for her FRIENDS’ forgiveness?!? Shouldn’t she be asking for GOD’s forgiveness!?
This is one of Iowahawk’s best yet.
Do you mean he was using a blow up doll???
Incredibly funny, I agree.
Great stuff, I’m still choking on my iced tea after 10 mins.
Do you mean he was using a blow up doll???
Did she drag her husband up on the podium at the press conference?
Doesn’t this piece show she has suffered enough? And now you wnat to post her picture all over the Net! I am beginning to think you are one of those Conservative, Christian judgemental types.
“I will be taking a leave of absence to earn their forgiveness, and redeem myself in the eyes of the entire expensive whore community.”
_____________________
‘Nuff said.......what a loser.
ROFL!
For the high rollers, there are always the Icelandic Airlines stewardesses! (A Tony Soprano episode.)
_________________________________________
She'll keep an eye out for you.
______________________________________
It's just barely possible that this is satire.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.