FOR PETA'S SAKE

Roman Around ^ | 10 January 2009 | Andrew Roman

[andrew roman]

From the folks who brought you the rousing "Holocaust On Your Plate" campaign, comes a brand new initiative - not nearly as disgusting or morally reprehensible, but just as deliciously inane.

The masterminds of PETA (People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals) have decided that the word "fish" must be retired from the American lexicon.

From now on, they will refer to those slippery and scaly creatures that swim in the rivers and oceans as "sea kittens."

No, really.

From their website:

People don't seem to like fish. They're slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you're swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.

Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You've done enough damage, buddy. We've got it from here. And we're going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it's time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?

Directly beneath this paragraph is a link directing visitors to contact the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service so that they might "stop promoting sea kitten hunting."

(Shouldn't that be the U.S. Sea Kitten and Wildlife Service?)

Visitors are also invited to read sea kitten stories or create their own sea kittens.

Incidentally, here's a fun fact about sea kittens you may not have known:

Like their surface-dwelling cousins, the land kittens, sea kittens enjoy being petted. Their lack of arms makes it difficult for them to pet back, but they often gently rub against each other as a sign of affection.

Talk about feeling dumb.

How could I have ever misinterpreted the intended affections of that bluegill that nipped at my ankles ... or the northern pike that took a tiny bite at my knees ... or the puffer with the bad attutude who jumped from the tank to latch onto my finger.

Funny ... every time I stuck my hand in the fish bowl as a kid, the goldfish always made a run for it (or a swim). Maybe it was the look on my face.

Here's another sea kitten fact:

Sea kittens talk to each other through squeaks, squeals, and other low-frequency sounds that humans can only hear through special instruments. Most ichthyologists—scientists who specialize in sea kitten biology—agree that this is just about the cutest thing ever.

You know what else was cute?

The first time I took my twin daughters to McDonalds for a daddy-daughter(s) lunch and we ordered our "Fillet-O-Sea Kitten" sandwiches with fries.

You can't get those memories back.

-

[steelyourfaith]

More lunacy from the left. Some people have way too much time of their hands. In the final analysis, the message of the (self-loathing) ecotard wing of the left distills into:

[P8riot]

Call a “kitten” anything you want, but it only comes when it’s ready and it still smells like fish.

[Vaquero]

How tasty and cute!

[FBD]

“ecotards”
-that’s a good one.

[Cold Heart]

Ecotard bump

[Flycatcher]

So which do you think is more challenging to catch:

freshwater sea kittens or saltwater sea kittens?

Ping for girlangler...

[squarebarb]

These people would be nothing if not for the MSM.

They are, in fact, a creation of the MSM.

[Old Sarge]

Come on, Andrew, you KNOW by now that no PETA thread is complete without the nekkid chicks in cages pics!

[WorkingClassFilth]

Fish, kittens, whatever; don’t bother me a bit ‘cause they’s good eatin.’

[PzLdr]

I caught a 50 lb ‘sea kitten’ [Striper] last June. I’ll be out after his/her littermates come May.

[Vozda]

I think it would have been more effective if that chic (I use that term lightly) actually killed herself and put this on the tomb: here lies so-and-so who died so that earth shall live, or something like that.

Put your action where your mouth is, crazy libs. :)

[xcamel]

Backstory...
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/search?m=all;o=time;q=quick;s=sea%20kitten

[He Rides A White Horse]

Saw it last night. Funny thing, my cat has two rather large ears, claws, and fur. These people are a joke. Or maybe just stupid.

[JimC214]

One Sea Kitty, Two Sea Kitty, Red Sea Kitty, Blue Sea Kitty. Nope doesn't work says Dr. Suess.

[GSP.FAN]

Sea Kitten?

[bitterohiogunclinger]

Ping for favorite sea kitten recipes.

[BCR #226]

These are the same nutjobs that adopt dogs under false pretenses from shelters so they can kill them. I suspect that they are also responsible for some of the dognappings that have occured in the past too.

PETA people need to get a life.

Mike

[PackerBoy]

Yesterday, I asked for a Filet-O-Sea Kitten at Mickey D's. They knew what I wanted.

PETA takes itself much too seriously to be a serious and effective advocate for animal rights.

[CIDKauf]

There has to be something wrong with salmon snaggin....