A Return to Seriousness: 7 Best Songs About Beer; Or, God Bless the Pope

John Lee Hooker/George Thorogood, One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer. Intelligent or regular readers will recognize this tune from Chapter 3 of Breaking the Law of Averages. The original Hooker version can be found here.

Bob and Doug Mackenzie, 12 Days of Christmas. By the finish of this merry carol, the boys will have consumed half a case, which is only a meager six pack each, a paltry amount, it being Christmas. I have quizzed recently two people who called themselves natives of the Great White North, yet they claimed never to have heard of Bob and Doug. Naturally, they were lying.

Walter Ostanek And His Band, Beer Barrel Polka. I’d prefer the Schmenge edition if it existed, but it doesn’t, so I can’t. However, if you can’t enjoy this Walter Ostanek version (a band from the semi-fictional land “Kanada”)—if you can’t seriously picture yourself stein in hand clapping and singing along in full throat—it is sure proof you have no soul. Cancel your subscription to the New York Times immediately and begin enjoying life.

Dr Demento, In Heaven There is No Beer. This is a Satanic song, and no doubt why the Pope himself quaffs in plain sight of cameras, to give Hope to us all. The best version—which I have not been able to find—is by Da Yoopers, a group from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Incidentally, the poor people who live in the Lower Peninsula are called Trolls, because they live under the bridge (Mackinaw, that is).

Todd Snider, Beer Run. “B, double-E, double-R, U-N, Beer Run…All we need is a ten and fiver, a car and a key and sober driver….” I defy you—yes, defy—not to sing along with the chorus...

BEER, BEER, BEER

From: The Holy Grail of Irish Drinking Songs
words and music Traditional

A long time ago, way back in history,
when all there was to drink was nothin but cups of tea.
Along came a man by the name of Charlie Mops,
and he invented a wonderful drink and he made it out of hops.

He must have been an admiral a sultan or a king,
and to his praises we shall always sing.
Look what he has done for us he’s filled us up with cheer!
Lord bless Charlie Mops, the man who invented beer beer beer
tiddly beer beer beer.

The Curtis bar, the James’ Pub, the Hole in the Wall as well
one thing you can be sure of, its Charlie’s beer they sell
so all ye lads a lasses at eleven O’clock ye stop
for five short seconds, remember Charlie Mops 1 2 3 4 5

A barrel of malt, a bushel of hops, you stir it around with a stick,
the kind of lubrication to make your engine tick.
40 pints of wallop a day will keep away the quacks.
Its only eight pence hapenny and one and six in tax, 1 2 3 4 5

The Lord bless Charlie Mops!

Chords: KEY C

verse:
C F G

chorus:

Background: More details about Beer, Beer, Beer coming...

What is it about us Irish and beer...

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