A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. The bartender looks at him and says, "For you, no charge."
Hahaha! Very good!
A crow spotted a a streaming horde of lemmings frantically running full speed ahead towards the edge of a cliff overlooking the sea.
Alarmed and what was about to happen, the crow flew down to intercept them and when he landed on a rock in their path he cawed to them, "Stawp! Stawp, there's a drop-off dead ahead! Ya'all have got to stawp raht naw! Caw!!!!"
The leading rodent, still racing towards the cliff, ignored him and shouted to his followers "Race abater! He's a race abater! Don't listen to him!" and at the very edge, he directed the first of his adoring lemming followers to take a great leap forward over the cliff.
"Stawp! Please stop, ya'all will fall!" cried the alarmed crow, but they continued to pour toward him and around him , until a mighty wave of lemmings swept over the rock, and as they cursed and called him names such as "you flocking paranoid tree-nagger" ...
... they flipped the bird!
Having been flipped off, the crow was starting to have enough of these teeming masses yearning to seethe for free, but as he watched the rest of them race past him towards the precipice he shouted one last warning to them : "Stawp, for Gawd's sake, stawp! Can't ya see yer leader's already gone off the deep end and yer heading towards disaster? What are ya, CRAZY?!?"
The last lemming in the end-crowd looked over its shoulder at him and screamed :
"No, we're PROGRESSIVES!"