Top 10 Manly Jobs: Popular Mechanics’ Cool Gigs List

Popular Mechanics published a list of four dozen or so “Coolest Gigs on Earth.”

They ought to have said “manliest.” This isn’t The Atlantic or Time. This is Popular Mechanics!

The catalog is admirably inclusive, but it smacks of padding. For example, “Food Scientist” is pegged. This is a job which I’m sure is at least interesting—the guy profiled develops, among other things, blended iced coffee—but it isn’t manly.

Like “Food Scientist”, “Statistician” can be interesting. But is it a manly gig? “Don’t mess with him, Jim. He’s a statistician!”

Before laughing, try swapping your own title for mine. See if the sentence becomes less ridiculous. We “Account Managers”, “Financial Specialists”, “Insurance Brokers”, “Customer Relation Managers” are all in the same meek boat.

What’s a manly job? One that if you were to announce it at the bar—a drinking establishment where Pinot Grigio is not on the menu—the men sitting there would not smirk. Preferably, it is something that is done with your hands. Bonus points if it requires dangerous tools. A manly job is one that makes something tangible. It does something noticeable. It’s one that, at the end of the day, you can look back and actually see progress.

Here, then, are my entries. I’ve taken as many as I could from Popular Mechanics (marked with PM) and made inclusions where they were negligent. The entries are in rough order of what I’d rather be doing. Daydreaming is, of course, the real purpose of the list...

Hmm...I also said “If the only thing you care about in your job is your paycheck...”

I have NEVER had a job where all I cared about was the paycheck. Never. I have worked jobs because I needed the cash, but I’ve always worked with pride and for the satisfaction of a job well done.

“Any idiot can be trained to ride horses, shoot a big gun, drive a tractor; that’s why the pay is low - simple skills.”

Hmmm...I’ve done those enough to know they are not simple skills. I’m reminded of a professional guitar player I met who said the guitar was the easiest instrument in the world to learn to play - and the hardest to play well.

Any idiot can sit on top of a mild horse, but a real man would aspire to more. If you watch a good cowboy cutting cattle, or watch folks riding jumpers or dressage, or reining, then you will see serious athletes performing at a level I will never reach - although I aspire to it every time I ride.

My last tour was in Afghanistan working EW. Shooting little guns in infantry is also an art, and a real man there takes it very seriously - mistakes kill people. The big guns - artillery - is even more demanding to do well. During tours as an ALO, I worked with both good and bad FSOs, and the good ones were as much artists as I tried to be as an ALO. And on Tuesday, I’m going to pay an expert to come to my place with a tractor and fix MY tractor work!

That is my point. A manly man doesn’t fill squares and collect cash. He constantly tries to do his best, for the pride and the joy of doing things very well.

The SEALS and Rangers want to be, not ‘just a soldier’, but the best! They don’t do it for the cash, but the love of being very good, and the recognition of their peers of their proven performance.

And yes, any woman who is worth spit will treat work the same way. My wife is a nurse. Some nurses do their hours and collect their checks. She works very hard, is constantly studying, and is exhausted at the end of every shift...for the same pay as the donut-eating fat lumps with RN badges.

Not for cash. For pride.

If you watch a good cowboy cutting cattle, or watch folks riding jumpers or dressage, or reining, then you will see serious athletes performing at a level I will never reach - although I aspire to it every time I ride

I watched it from the drivers seat. Worked as a cowhand in Southeastern Arizona and Tucson as a teenager, bucked out my own horse every morning at 6 AM (now that's a rotten way to start the day!).

My sister did all the gymkhana stuff (you know, over at the Rillito stables?), I thought it was sissy. More into saddle broncs. My father was a bare-back rider from Montana (Bozeman), he counted the days until I stopped...and on a real ranch, you don't use horses for cutting: you use cattle dogs. Amazing thing to watch, a pack of mutts controlling a herd of 800 lb animals.

My last tour was in Afghanistan working EW

Really? Congratulations. Aren't the EWO's and WSO's routinely belittled as wannabe pilots and backseat drivers? By all the idiots who don't understand what goes into the training and use of the equipment? You agree with that?

As far as SEAL's and Rangers, I'd be happy to hear that they do it for love of country and nation, not to prove something to the schoolyard mentality. Some of them I know do - but never talk about it.

But the idiotic idea that only blue collar jobs are "manly" is something that you hear from the comic book reading set. I've done virtually all the jobs mentioned except for the military job descriptions and I can safely tell you that they aren't particularly difficult, don't return much for the effort expended, and are significantly overrated as "career options"...unless trailer parks are your ultimate goal for retirement.

Speaking of which, if it's "manly" to be a dial twiddler in the back seat of an F-15 or whatever the hell you were in, how would you characterize say, the guy designing the boxes that flew your airplane at 400' AGL at night, acquired and targeted the threats to that aircraft, and then automatically fired and took out said threat?

I mean, didja have some high-school dropout who drove a truck design it, or maybe some one else who did something say, a little less sexy...like study filter design?

You know the answer, so don't BS me.

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