[Lazamataz]

Notes to author:

1. Get contact lenses.
2. Brush your teeth.
3. Pick up something heavier than a Dorito.
4. Cut that mop of a head of hair.
5. Bathe.
6. Don't go out in your dirty undershirt.

You're welcome.

[Quix]

LOLOL.

Hope you’re taking care of yourself Bro.

World is getting crazier by the hour—if not second.

Sheesh.

[The Comedian]

6. Don't go out in your dirty undershirt.

7. Fight the urge to seek companionship in public bathrooms.

8. Force yourself to look at a girl for a change.

9. Pretend, however briefly, that one or even both of your parents are the slightest bit proud of who you are and what you do.

10. Stand in front of a mirror and say to yourself "I am totally my own fault" over and over until you actually understand and believe it. Hold a straight razor by your side until ready to act.

Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.