Deconstructing One Night Stands

Accuracy in Academia ^ | June 30, 2010 | Bethany Stotts

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Deconstructing One Night Stands

Bethany Stotts, June 30, 2010

Casual sex, common on many college campuses, leaves many female students dissatisfied and with hurt feelings, according to the authors of a recent column for The Chronicle Review, a publication of the Chronicle of Higher Education.

“For the past 12 years, I have taught a course on sex differences to college juniors and seniors,” writes University of Virginia professor Steven E. Rhoades in his co-authored article “The Emotional Costs of Hooking Up.”

“When we talk about relationships and sex itself, most of the men, sometimes sheepishly, indicate that they enjoy hookups—but the vast majority of the women are unhappy with them,” he writes.

He continues,

“Women don’t want sex for long without an emotional connection, a sense of caring, if not real commitment, from their partners. As one student wrote in a paper for my class, ‘We are told not to be sexual prudes, but to enjoy casual sex, we have to be emotional prudes.’”

“A lot of the men seem to believe what one told my wife a few years ago: She was teaching Shakespearean romantic comedy to an all-male college class and asked what sort of women the men imagined they would fall in love with,” he later writes. “One young man said he was not interested in love at that point because he hadn’t slept with enough women yet” (emphasis added).

Politics prof Rhoads is the author of Taking Sex Differences Seriously (2004). Although the article is written from a first-person perspective, he acknowledges UVA grads Laura Webber and Diana Van Vleet as co-authors.

According to professor Rhoads, a breadth of scholarship has shown that...

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leaves many female students dissatisfied and with hurt feelings

Which explains why young women often cry after sex, while the young men wonder WTF is going on with this mental case.

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Ha! Your wife is probably right!

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Men know its as empty as women do. That simple.

There’s no free lunch. Without love, nothing matters. It doesn’t matter what area of endeavor you are talking about. Strip away any successful entity, and at the heart of it is either a more pure form of love, or a more pure form of hate.

Indifference is what hate leaves behind in its wake. It’s why everyday German clerks could go home to their families at night and say, “We are taking every precaution to ensure that the Jews are dying as quickly and painlessly as possible.”

As such, when two people have sex, and there’s no love in it, the only thing you can expect as a result is indifference. Both the men and the women know this, even if they can’t verbalize it.