Posted on 02/26/2011 5:07:13 AM PST by Travis McGee
Pssst that catchy title was just to grab your attention. This letter is meant for you infidel men.
You infidel women, please click back to fuzzy bunnies and unicorns. Ill wait.
[Dum-dee-dum dum ]
All men now? Good.
Dont worry, this isnt about flowers, candy or cards. Of course the very idea is ridiculous. Valentines Day is an infidel holiday celebrating lewd, immoral and licentious behavior typical to your fallen religions. Trust me when I say we have nothing like Valentines Day in the one true religion of peace.
And men, isnt it better for us that we dont have it in our religion? No need to buy your wife flowers, candies or even a card on Valentines or any other day. This is just one small example of why the one true religion is better for men, and why you should seriously consider switching over while were still taking volunteers.
And its really easy to join. Just say one prayer, and youre in for life.
Heres another good reason to switch. Say you dont feel like showing tender affection to your wife. You dont have to! In fact, if she burns dinner, doesnt clean the house, or pisses you off in any way you can just back-hand her, (as long as you dont break any bones or mark her face.) In fact, its okay for you to give her a good thrashing now and then to get her back into line. Why? Because it says its okay in the holy books of the one true religion of peace, thats why.
Dont worry, the bruises covering the rest of her body wont show, because (isnt this great!) a wife can never leave the house while showing one square centimeter of bare uncovered skin thats not between her eyes and her chin. Which is mighty handy, in case shes still covered with bruises from her last few disciplinary sessions. And as long as you are careful not to beat her face in, she can still go out in public to do your shopping, (while properly attired, of course).
Heres another reason why the one true religion is better for us men. Maybe your wife just doesnt have the old sex-appeal any more. The thrill is gone. No problem! You can remarry, and bring a second, third or a fourth wife home. You dont have to even ask the old bats permission. Whom you marry is up to you and you alone in the one true religion, because you are a man! If wife-number-one doesnt want you bringing that pretty little thing home to your bed, well too bad for wife-number-one. She has no say in the matter. You may do what you want, because you are a man!
Now, my infidel friend and prospective member of the one true religion of peace, maybe youre not such a handsome young stud yourself any more. Youre over forty, and you havent exactly been working out and keeping buff. Dont worry, thats not a problem. Lets say your brother has a cute little daughter, Fatima. Shes going to be turning thirteen soon. For the first eleven or twelve years of her life she was allowed the run of the block like a free-spirited little sprite. Uncovered, just as cute as a button, and sure to be one hot number once she passes through puberty.
And as luck would have it, you also have a daughter of fourteen or so (perhaps from your second wife) who is not exactly getting any younger and you want her out of the house. Perhaps she is not as pretty as Fatima, but dont worry, your brother is not as picky as you are. Thats right! You can trade your adolescent daughter to your brother, and he can reciprocate with Fatima. What a great deal this is for us men, under the rules of the one true religion of peace. In this way, you can keep a fresh stock of nubile teenage girls in your bed until youre too old to want them any longer. And nobody can say a word against this excellent practice, because the prophet of the one true religion explicitly condones and encourages it as one of the very best ways to find a good wife. In fact, this is how the prophet found his favorite wife of all.
But what if your bubbly thirteen-year-old nieceexcuse mebrideobjects to having sex with you, simply because you are forty-five and have a gray beard down to your big stomach? Ha-ha-ha! As if what she wants matters! Trust me, she has no say in the matter, none. If you and your brother like the idea of swapping teenage daughters for child brides, thats all there is to it, its settled. (Some Western so-called scientists claim that all of this marrying of close relatives has caused so-called genetic problems, but what do they know? Genetics are not mentioned anywhere in our holy books, so they have no importance to members of the one true religion of peace.)
And if you like the girls really young, the one true religion is definitely for you. Even nine years old is plenty old enough for marriage and full marital relations. This was old enough for the Prophet and his very favorite young niece-bride, so dont worry about catching any flak from other members of the one true religion. If a nine-year-old bride was old enough for the prophet (when he was in his fifties), it is old enough for any male member of the one true religion of peace.
But what if that hot new child bride is not in the mood to satisfy your male needs? Those teenagers (and preteens) can be quite a handful, as we all know. Well, shed better get in the mood, if she doesnt want a good thrashing! Our holy books are very clear on this. But what if she still wont receive your overtures when you want to lay a little loving on her? You have even beaten her black and blue (except on her face), but to no avail. Shes lost that loving feeling, or maybe she never had it in the first place. Some teenage brides are just like that.
Men, this part is great, you will just love it. And this goes for any of your wives, from your oldest to your youngest. Just divorce them, by saying I divorce thee! Thats it! No lawyers, no paperwork, no alimony. After this legally-binding divorce occurs shes thrown out on the street, penniless and rejected by society. The witch will soon be begging on a corner. Shes not exactly a pretty sight, but lucky for us men we dont have to see her, since shes just a lump in a burqa, squatting on the sidewalk with only her begging cup showing. Her pitiful example will also do wonders to encourage your other wives to please you better.
Isnt that great, men? Truly, the one true religion of peace is perfect for us.
Of course we men all understand that women are the morally weaker half of humanity. According to our holy books their inborn tendency is toward sensuality and sin. This is why we have their clitorises surgically removed when they are children. (Well, the surgery is usually just performed with an ordinary razor, without anesthesia while the screaming girl is held down, but you know what I mean. And they get over it pretty soon.)
Without those little sensuality-seeking pleasure spots, wives are a lot less likely to step out on their husbands. And I am very happy to report that Egypt leads the entire world in conducting this procedure, with over ninety percent of our girls prevented from experiencing unnecessary sexual pleasure due to the excision of their disgusting little pleasure-seekers. (Hmmm why did a perfect god put these little mistakes on girls in the first place? Never mind.)
Now, some of you infidels might mention those year-by-year pictures of the graduating classes of Cairo University, with the female grads posing shamelessly uncovered until fairly recently. Long, flowing hair, right down past their shoulders! Shocking! Disgusting! But today, I am happy to report, 100% of the female graduates of Cairo U. are now wearing the hijab scarf or even the full face-covering veil. This shows that we are making true progress at containing womens baser instincts to constantly charm, bewitch and seduce pious men.
In recent years our local women seem to have all received the message, and their lust-stoking female hair is no longer seen in public in Cairo where I live. (A little hydrochloric acid splashed in the faces of uncovered women also goes a long way toward encouraging the rest of them to understand the importance of female modesty in the one true religion of peace. Just a few burned and scarred examples will usually do the trick.)
This brings us at last to the case of Lara Logan. It was our holy day when the dictator fled and naturally the crowds on the square were in a celebratory mood. Spirits were running high. And right there in the middle was that infamous Western whore, strutting among the valiant crowds of pious men, shamelessly displaying all of her long blond hair to countless thousands of practitioners of the one true religion of peace. Why, the brazen hussy even dared to show her bare neck clear down past her collar bones!
Of course this would inflame any crowd of normal men who were pious followers of the one true religion. Long gorgeous flowing blond hair, a bare neck showing pure white skin, and bare naked collar bones! Even my grandmother understood what would happen. Bare meat, she would call an uncovered Western whore like Lara Logan. What else do you expect from devout practitioners of the one true religion of peace when they see bare meat than to try to grab some of it for themselves? After all, thats only normal male human nature, as explained in our holy books.
(And if Lara Logan wasnt actually a Jew, she sure was acting and dressing like one.)
Men, women are eternally devious little temptresses. Its their fallen nature, as members of the weaker sex. Temptation can even happen at work. Suppose you see a brazen female co-worker slutting it around the office, showing her unrestrained hair, perhaps wearing a shape-revealing blouse, or tight jeans or an immodest (non-floor-length) skirt. Shes just asking for sex, dressing like that! A loose woman like that has already lost her chastity, so she is there for the taking. Bare meat, on a plate!
Maybe you are alone with her in the stock room for a while. Well, take her! She is advertising to the world that she is an immoral whore and not a properly chaste member of the one true religion of peace, so why not? And dont worry about being charged with the Western crime of rape. Were there four male witnesses to the act? I didnt think so! That is why you cornered her in the stock room in the first place.
In the unlikely event that she dares to bring a charge of rape without the required four male witnesses, you can just say that it was her idea to conduct an adulterous liaison, and she seduced you with her female charms. Perfectly understandable! In the one true religion of peace, a mans testimony counts twice a womans, so you win! Every time!
And do you know what the penalty for her adultery will be? Being stoned to death, while buried up to her shoulders in the ground. That little possibility sure keeps the frequency of rape charges way down, so dont worry about grabbing a piece of strange if and when the opportunity presents itself. You always win, she always loses.
Yes, it is certainly great to be a man in the one true religion of peace. My infidel friend, give it another look, while were still taking volunteers. Think it over, carefully. If we have to wait too long to hear from you, you might not get the same great deal. And dont worry about consulting your wife in making your decision. Her opinion is irrelevant.
See, you are liking the idea better already.
Sincerely,
Abdul al-Anonymo Dar al-Islam
If Western women only knew what awaited them as Sharia spreads.
And yet, for liberals, hatred of the West trumps all and the alliance of convenience of Islam and the left flourishes.
Incidently, that was a good article you posted and it told it like it is. But, some people can't br cited, they have to be shown. In their case, it is coming.
1978
2004
Really well written piece.
Personally I wish it had been Katie Couric that was dragged off.
This odious, poisonous political philosophy which masquerades as a religion needs to be wiped from the face of the Earth entirely without pity, mercy, or remorse.
Islam: A CULT of murderous goat-humpers.....
I couldn’t finish reading this post who the hell in their right mind believes that bull crap. The Rag Heads had better learn to assimilate or it’s going to be Cowboys and muzzies.
“If Western women only knew what awaited them as Sharia spreads”
If Sharia only knew what awaits it down South from Southern women.
You do know it was satire, right?
Well, we’ve had Cowboys and Indians...That went pretty well depending on your point of view...
We have a new Spielberg film coming out about Cowboys and Aliens...That actully might be pretty entertaining...
Cowboys and Muzzies...Hmmmmmmm, that might be fun for the whole family...
Awesome!! lol
It’s written sarcastically, but I can’t find anything in it that’s not 100% true.
It’s nightmare knowledge, and I grieve for the women already in that hideous situation (now probably including a whole lot more in Tunisia). The whole Give Peace a Chance crowd who ignorantly think peace has a chance & refuse to learn from history (and who incidently voted for 0bama) scare me. I’m grateful here in woo-woo, kumbayah, Pass-the-Medicinal-Peacepipe northern California to have my intense guard dogs and other personal protection.
“who the hell in their right mind believes that bull crap.”
At least 100 million (or more) do. And it only took 19 on 9/11. I’m so sick of hearing incessantly from the media (and liberal friends/relatives) that “it’s only a few who are radical, MOST Muslims are peaceful.
Bull$hit.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.