Skip to comments.Discovery's Man vs. Wild: Top 25 Things That I Want To See Bear Grylls Grill
Posted on 06/24/2011 9:58:50 AM PDT by zippythepinhead
Bear Grylls. British Special Forces man, adrenaline junkie, and survival expert on Discovery Channel's "Man Vs Wild." Bear is a survivor and actually teaches others some basic survival techniques as well as stuff most people may not think of if they were stranded in a desert, jungle, isle of the sea, the arctic or swamp. Bear has had things on the barbie like rattle snakes, mice, skunks, and eaten countless grubs, worms, vegetation, et al.
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I’d like to see him catch a black mamba with his bare hands. That would be special.
With his bare hands, I want to see him catch and eat a live box jellyfish...with bees in it’s mouth.
I want to see him kill a rattlesnake with his teeth.
Bear Grylls. British Special Forces man, adrenaline junkie, and survival expert on Discovery Channel’s “Man Vs Wild.” Bear is a survivor and actually teaches others some basic survival techniques as well as stuff most people may not think of if they were stranded in a desert, jungle, isle of the sea, the arctic or swamp. Bear has had things on the barbie like rattle snakes, mice, skunks, and eaten countless grubs, worms, vegetation, et al.
But I want to see Bear really use his skills. He can do better than field mice and rattle snakes. In future “Man VS Wild” episodes I want to see him consume the following on my wish list.
25. Prairie Dog
23. California Condor
22. Mallard Duck
21. African Elephant
20. Gila Monster
19. Black Attar
18. Utah June Sucker
17. Desert Tortoise
16. Emperor Penguin
15. Golden Eagle
14. Yellow Tail Butterfly
13. Spotted Owl
11. Crab Grass
10. Anything from a McDonald’s dumpster
3. Killer Whale
2. Giant Squid
1. A Pit Bull
Yes as Bear says in a survival situation it is all about opportunity and a little luck to get a meal to get you energized to move on in your pursuit of making it out alive. No living thing should be off the menu that won’t kill you. This includes enviornmentalists’ dream animals and other assorted oddities. It would be hard to prosecute a person for cooking up an endangered deer because that is what wandered into his path.
Better to eat the black bear than be eaten by the black bear I always say. So if he can put away some grubs, he should be able to down a dolphin just fine. After all it is in the name of living and not becoming another death statistic of the wild.
I only want to see him eat one thing. A Delta Smelt.
It would please me to no end to watch the whack jobs in california go apoplectic.
watched an episode where he ate a cave spider - I almost passed out
I’d like to see him eat a proper English or Irish breakfast at a restaurant while talking about politics and the economy.
Ha! I didn’t know what one was until just now - good one!
Spotted owl, kangaroo rat, Mountain Gorilla, Bactrian Camel, Ethiopian Wolf, Saiga, Takhi, Iberian Lynx, Kakapo, Arakan Forest Turtle, Sumatran Rhinoceros, Javan Rhino, Brazilian Merganser, Axolotl, Leatherback Sea Turtle, Northern White Rhinoceros, Gharial, Vaquita, Philippine Eagle, Brown Spider Monkey, California Condor, Island Fox, Black Rhinoceros, Chinese Alligator
Only slightly off-topic.
Bear Grylls and the other survival shows are the reason you’ll never find this non-smoking FReeper without a (filled) Zippo.
“Survival Expert” my ass.
You try half of the stuff he shows on his show and you’re a guaranteed CASUALTY.
Sure, let’s climb that huge tree “without” a safety harness.
Slide down that glacier. Wheeeeee!
Jump into that river “without” a float vest.
He’s a complete joke.
Meanwhile, Guys like Les Stroud and the two cool dudes on “Dual Survival” are really doing it. No tricks, no hidden vests, emergency crew, or hotels.
Now I see Gerber has marketed a ton of “Bear” crap with orange handles. Junk.
Climbinb stuff and eating creepy stuff.
That’s about all he does.
I’ve seen him do some of the dumbest things you could do out there. Jump off of cliffs into a river, use old ropes that he found to go down cliffs, slide down hill sides. He is going to end up getting himself killed.
I’ve told people many times that doing the stuff you see Bear Grylls do on Man vs Wild will get you killed.
That being said, I do enjoy watching the show but as a “what would I do in that situation” sort of thing. About 100% of the time, what I would do is not what Bear does (e.g. don’t crawl down the frozen waterfall - go around, don’t swim across the lake in 50 degree water - walk around, etc.)
I want to see him eat his own arm.
When I go on walkabout I carry a tiny survival kit that fits neatly in my vest. If I ever get lost they will find me, possibly hungry but very much alive, warm, hydrated and comfortable.
The same kit, minus the tube tent, is in my medium size Ameribag which is always with me. You really don't need much stuff to survive but you do need the right stuff.
The BEST survival show currently on TV is “Dual Survival”, which has a genuine “odd couple”. One guy is an gruff ex-Special Forces type who teams up with a barefoot, shorts-wearing hippie with pigtails and piercings.
BOTH of those guys are the real deal.
The approach they take and the techniques they use are not Hollywood, like Grylls. They take 30 minutes to cross a stream because they know that wet = hypothermia = death. You’d think they’d hate eachother, but they get along really well and their skills are complementary. Excellent show.
“Don’t forget to take a towel. You guys wanna get high?”
Bear could not survive in the wild without paracord. I always have paracord with me when I get lost.
Living and spending most of my time in politically correct environments in a so-pc state, I don’t carry one with me, but I could always get to one in a pinch.
Lighter. Basic pocket knife which won’t get you fired or arrested anywhere. Emergency blanket. Couple garbage bags. And something to somehow boil water in.
Then a freeze-dried backpack meal or two. And enough ready cash to fill your gas tank to at least the next state.
If you have those, 99.9% of the time you’ll have enough time to figure out the rest.
Recently picked up some “emergency water” - though that sounds darn silly, it’s good for 10 years, and packaged in the same sort of package as those juice bags - apparently you can leave a couple in your vehicle in (any) weather - down to 40 below, and it won’t burst even if it freezes, that seemed like a good thing to have around just to keep and forget about for a couple years, just in case.
Please give us the list.
We watch that show all the time.
The barefoot guy, Cody, is really funny.
When it comes to building a fire, that guy is the expert.
Yep. Cody could rub two wet bandaids together and get a fire.
I loved the one where Code builds a fire and starts picking up some weird mushrooms off of trees, expecting to provide the night’s meal, and the other guy comes back with a friggin’ TURKEY.
Cody is the ONE exception to my hippie worldview.
One flashlight, LED bulb I like the kind that you can strap to your head.
One floppy hat.
One waterproof container of "Strike anywhere matches"
One pack of fire-starters. You can make your own out of dryer lint and wax or just buy a pack.
One 36" X 36" square of heavy duty aluminum foil. This can be used as a reflector, something to boil water in, something to store food in or a signal.
One candle in a can.
50' of para cord.
Insect repellent (Yes even in the city!)
One tube of lip balm.
One set of socks.
One set of drawers.
One T-shirt. Heavy duty and over sized.
One bandanna. Bright. Some color that stands out.
Pack the four items above in a one gallon, heavy duty ziplock bag. I add in a few packets of salt, sugar and some tea bags.
One police whistle. (much easier then screaming)
Water purification tablets.
MPI Emergency space bag.
MPI emergency space blanket.
Metal water bottle.
First aid kit. (sterile dressing, ace bandage, butterfly bandages, duct tape, Bacitracin, tweezers, safety pins, needle and dental floss.) I also add a few tablets of tylenol. This is for comfort, not survival. However I always include aspirin and Benadryl, one tablet of each will take an allergic reaction down to survivable level.
Tube tent. Bright. Some color not found commonly in nature.
You can add a couple of energy bars. A washcloth and small bar of soap is also handy.
You might notice that I don't include fishing gear or anything like that. You are not camping, only trying to stay alive until you are found. The contents of this pack along with some water will keep you alive for at least a week.
I forgot Burmese python to the list.
Nice. With a little stingray on the side. God rest the Crock Hunter.
Pip Pip! I agree. He should eat what he needs. I want to see Man Vs. Wild: Homeless in Seattle. Then he could dumpster dive.
Yuck! I’d rather eat the spider than drink my pee. Bleck!
I want to see him tame the elusive, deadly Rosie O’Donnel.
After a tough day at the office. Mr Grylls would you like tea with that Fish and Chips?
Have you seen those Dual Survival guys? They are kind of entertaining.
If Bear may be a bit left of centre(brit spell)eating Michael Moore could render him rabid and he would have to be put out of Her Majesty’s misery. Some things are just too poisonous. :P
With a narrative about the Donner Party or Alive?
Right O chap! I think though by doing the extreme he hopes we will just do the obvious and not limit our thinking. I would trust myself to Bear with no crew. I love Dick Cheney, think he should run for Prez. However, I would not hunt with him, ever!
Agreed. In survival mode I suppose garbage can be your best friend. Les Stroud showed that in Survivor Man. Damn near got killed it seems hauling all that camera in himself.
I have heard him say thanks to the crew and locals on occasion. He even thanked his camera man for getting him out of a jam. He is an expert, not God. I think he is genuine. Bear vs. Palin Alaska! I would watch that show eating my maggot pizza and skinning a moose.
I always bring up the movie "Alive" when I fly to other passengers. Makes them feel real comfortable.
Bear had one episode where he featured the camera crew. Big kudos to them for doing everything he does AND doing it while wrangling big cameras & gear, and for him for featuring them at least once.
It’s the only episode I watched. The prospects of watching him drink his own piss for no good reason is just revolting.
The behavior that gives me the greatest “pucker factor” is when he decides to squeeze down into a cave where the only light he has is a torch that will burn for just a few minutes, there is no indication that an outlet exists and once going down, there is no way to get back the way you came.
In real life, that kind of risk will get you killed probably 99 times out of 100!
Now in order to eat fat loud mouthed lesbian you must be very skillful in catching it. It spews profanity that would make prisoners blush. I have some parachute cord with me and a knife. Here we go.....
Why is Jake Gyllenhall on the season premiere? Is he the food source in case Bear gets really lost or are they testing a Brokeback Wilderness theme?
I am not touching that one.
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