Cataloging the very modest "Aspirin-between-the-knees" line [Andrea Mitchell is a presstitute]

multiple ^ | 2/17/2012 | self

[Notwithstanding]

The utterly predictable master of deception and dishonesty - the always biased and never professional Andrea Mitchell - is breathlessly indignant about a very mild piece of advice that has been and remains a humorous and polite way to get across the point that the only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy and disease is to not have sex - aka to keep an aspirin between your knees.

I invite readers to post all the pre-Santorum-faux-kerfuffle instances of the aspirin-between-the-knees maxim.

I will start with some I found.

[Notwithstanding]

"A Young Woman's Guide to the Pill & contraceptives" is a 2002 liberal teen sex guide available on the internet.

This progressive guide uses the same common-sense aspirin-between-the-knees humor as its introduction:

"Rule #1 in not getting pregnant: Don't have sex. It's an interesting (and fool-proof) approach to birth control, but it's clearly not for everybody. So what's Rule #2? It's this: Don't have sex without contraceptives. That's probably a more useful (and more practical) approach for more women than Rule #1, or its corollary that you won't get pregnant if you hold an aspirin snugly between your knees on a date."

http://www.doitnow.org/pages/219/219.html

[brivette]

Is it mans lot to procreate, then die?

[Notwithstanding]

http://contraception.about.com/b/2010/05/20/myth-busters-aspirin-as-a-birth-control-method.htm

Dawn Stacey, About.com's Guide to Contraception, is a published author and a former family planning specialist, health educator, and pregnancy options counselor for Planned Parenthood:

"Going back to the aspirin belief, if you are determined to use it as a form of birth control, I will leave you with the following suggestion: the only way that an aspirin can prevent pregnancy is for a woman to carefully place it between her knees and HOLD it there (by keeping her knees and therefore her legs) closed. ☺"

[onyx]

The funds raised in these FReepathons go to pay our current quarter expenses. But we're also going to try to replace some of our older servers and failing equipment this year so we're going to add a little extra to our FReepathon goals. John is estimating ten to fifteen thousand to do this and I'd like to get it all in place and working before the election cycle is fully heated up, so we'll try to bring in a little extra now, if we can, and the rest next quarter.

Jim Robinson

Click to Donate!

[tet68]

It does seem that man’s lot is so often like
the male praying mantis. He mates then the female
bites his head off.

[SkyDancer]

The humor of it went totally over her head. Typical Liberal being so literal. She just didn’t get the concept.

[Paleo Conservative]

My opinion of Alan Greenspan really wend down when he married Andrea Mitchell.

[TomGuy]

IIRC, that is very similar to the advice Ann Landers would write in the 60’s.

[andy58-in-nh]

My old man told me when I was growing up that there were two effective drugs for the prevention of pregnancy: Sulfa Denial and Nossatol.

[andy58-in-nh]

Correction: My old man told me when I was growing up that there were two effective drugs for the prevention of pregnancy: Sulfa Denial and Noassatol.

[Diogenesis]

[Notwithstanding]

No one thought the line was off color when the UK Telegraph published this opening paragraph in a column:

“’The best way for girls to avoid pregnancy is by taking an aspirin,” said the school nurse. We all stared at her in confusion until she continued, laughing, “and holding it very tightly between their knees.” I went to a co-ed convent school. Despite this and the Vatican’s standing on contraception, we were taught about condoms, the Pill and, most importantly, the legal, moral and psychological issues surrounding sexual relationships. How things have changed. Now it transpires that school nurses are prescribing a lot more than just an aspirin – they’re giving out contraceptive implants.”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/9075260/Underage-sex-Parents-just-say-no.html

on the fact that some children are getting Norplant contraception implant at school without parental knowledge

[dainbramaged]

Andrea Mitchell, huh? Didn’t she receive an antique organ on her last birthday from her husband, Alan Greenspan?

[Fledermaus]

It’s funny (yes, pun) how so many liberals today, especially so-called comedians, can’t take a JOKE!

Hook up a belt to Lenny Bruce, he’s spinning the grave so much we can solve our energy problems.

Let’s face reality, today Bruce would be thrown under the bus of PC crap.

[Dr. Bogus Pachysandra]

She’s a complete idiot to not recognize that old joke. She’s certainly old enough! Basically, “Keep your knees together.” Sheesh! What an idiot!

[mkmensinger]

All her organs are antiques.

[Notwithstanding]

Of course no one found it off color and everyone thought it was appropriately funny when a column in FireDogLake.com (which calls itself ‘a leading progressive news site, online community, and action organization consistently ranked as one of the most influential political websites’) used the line to make fun of McCain in 2008:

“Because nothing says “keep that aspirin between your legs, girls” like a hot dog social with John McCain. Yeppers.”

http://firedoglake.com/2008/06/11/abstinence-making-the-heart-grow-fonder-for-mccain-nope/

[bigbob]

I know it’s not the same context, but any excuse to watch Jack at work is a good one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wtfNE4z6a8

“I want you to hold it between your knees!”

[WilliamofCarmichael]

How about some cheers for Santorum? Santorum lit into the Obama servile, complaisant, undistinguished media (Obama SCUM).

"SANTORUM: So now I’m gonna have to respond to when every supporter says something. Look, this is what you guys do. You don’t do this with President Obama. In fact, with President Obama, you went out and defended him from someone he sat in a church for 20 years and defended him with “Oh, he can’t possibly believe what he listened to for 20 years.” This is a double standard, it’s what you’re pulling off, and I’m gonna call you on it."

Will other Republicans have the courage to do it? Wot? I don't think so either.

I recall how the aspirin thing was NOTHING MORE THAN A POLITE WAY OF SAYING DON'T HAVE SEX IF YOU WORRY THAT YOU WILL GET PREGNANT. What's the uproar about? Are liberals that stupid?

[rawcatslyentist]

>"Andrea Mitchell - is breathlessly indignant"

Tell ya whut Drea, we'll drag a 100 dollar bill through a trailer park and see if we can get some ice to put on that.