Unless you intend to get his and hers pieces, your wife will be the main fitment issue. If she is petite, the 20 gauge shotgun is a good choice (get a youth/distaff model, such as the Mossberg Bantam).
Another key consideration is strength, and this mainly applies to handguns. Centerfire semi-auto handguns tend to have rather stiff recoil springs, and there are some people who have a hard time cycling the slides on them. If this is you or your wife, get a double-action revolver. A Ruger SP101 (small) or GP100 (medium) in .357 Magnum is a good choice.
Like everyone else is saying here, if you can beg or borrow any guns to try out first, by all means do it! Just remember that you’re buying them for yourself and your family, not to impress anyone else, so make sure you get what works for YOU.
I don’t know which shop or shops you’ve been into, but a couple that I’ve had good luck with in terms of selection are Kerley’s Hunting & Fishing in Cupertino, and Imbert & Smithers in San Carlos.
As far as places to shoot, there aren’t many choices in the Bay Area. There’s a club in Stevens Canyon, a public shooting park in San Jose and one of my favorites was the Los Altos Rod and Gun Club in Los Gatos (on Skyline Blvd south of Highway 9).
What, were you two some of the Old Boys hanging out @ the store (Ralston Rode & Tackle) when I was there?? That's exactly what they recommended!
I was only aware of the outfit down in Watsonville.