Why men are withdrawing from courtship.

Dalrock ^ | Dalrock

[Jack Hydrazine]

ROFLMAO!!!

You might just be on to something here!

[southern rock]

Women do like independent thinking, courageous, exciting, passionate men, who are active and live life to the fullest. The resentment, and frequent use of the put down “bad boys” is starting to sound more like male envy, especially in discussions of females past high school age.

The reason a lot of men have bitterness over the "bad boy" is because the "bad boy" is the guy who succeeds with women time after time after time by doing things and treating women in ways that polite society, conventional wisdom, our mothers, and other women in our lives specifically tell us we are NOT supposed to do. Basically, you have to be a complete and total d-bag, and the chicks come running, but this is not in most guys DNA anymore, we get confused and angry. It took me years to figure this out, and I still have trouble and guilt actually pulling it off even though it works, so the anger is understandable.

[Tired of Taxes]

Did you ever watch this movie?

It pretty much illustrates what you're saying. (lol)

[ansel12]

I used to understand the occasional use of the term “bad boy” when used to describe high school dating, but on this thread and on some others, it seems that to some, it merely is an expression of jealousy, revenge of the nerds stuff, there are some very angry posts on this thread, as though the scars of jealousy and envy run deep.

It occurred to me yesterday that Jack Nicholson, is an example of the “bad boy” personality with females.

[Nepeta]

If a man here said such about wimmins... the female wolf pack would be on his butt...and with reason

Interesting that you failed to notice that I neither damned all men or praised all women. Special, just for you because your reading comprehension is lacking at the moment, I will restate that there are lousy men and women out there.

Your reference to the "female wolf pack" says more about you than about women.

I find women wonderful but frustrating

Try thinking of them as individuals with distinct personalities and past influences. I approach ALL people this way, and find that most people have some good surprises in them, if you give them an opportunity to reveal themselves.

But never vile or disease ridden or icky

You'd better do some reading about STDs. There are some bad ones out there for which there are no good treatments.

In fact...cooties are my friend

Perhaps the class of women you are familiar with finds this attitude alluring?

The forum has a lot of lonely resentful folks....I hope someone falls in your lap and changes your perspective

Resentful? No. I don't even waste energy reflecting upon my ex; I figure God takes good notes and will take care of him when it is time.

But I can tell that it really disturbs you that there are women who are not agonizing every moment without a man to attach themselves to and manage them. Not only do I not agonize, I am happy and content to live as I please, without compromise of my standards. That strikes me as a very conservative kind of thing to do. I don't give a second thought to men who live without women folk--that is their life to live, not mine.

We all need someone ...

Not if we are mature, responsible adults.

It is pathetic when a man it too "helpless" to match his own socks or a woman is too "helpless" to set up a new DVD player. (I made my own Gray-Hoverman tv antenna when I set up for digital tv. That should make you deeply crazy. No male was in sight or offering advice.)

[wardaddy]

man...with your warm personality maybe you are better off solo honey

life is too short to be so sharp pointed

im not even going to look but your hear me roarness has to be yankee

course you can claim to be anyone

fembot stridency is not a conservative value but by all means suit yourself

you can as you say...do as you please

[Nepeta]

man...with your warm personality maybe you are better off solo honey life is too short to be so sharp pointed im not even going to look but your hear me roarness has to be yankee course you can claim to be anyone fembot stridency is not a conservative value but by all means suit yourself you can as you say...do as you please

The condescending "honey" reveals your character (or lack of it). When all else fails, call me a "fembot."

Yes, independence and self-reliance IS a conservative virtue...not just for men. You wouldn't call it "strident" in a man, would you? Of course not--you accept independence in a man.

I've been a conservative for 50+ years. My "hear my roarness"? Can you really only see women as whores or mothers or harpies? I perceive men over a full spectrum of possibilities~~I just have no wish to put my health (physical, fiscal, & emotional) at risk by close involvement. That doesn't mean I don't like men, I do; I've had lots of male buddies on the job and they liked me, because I was fair and honest and DIDN'T play feminist games.

Name-calling is a ruse of the left. Don't descend to it.

[ClaytonP]

I frankly am at a loss for words for a man who disparages the virtue of southern girls

You may need a metaphorical exorcism Clayton

Might I suggest the bars along lower McKinney on Friday nite...bring yer wallet...its a cornucopia of great Texican DNA

Bars? seriously?

You mean where the women spend their 20s hooking up with dozens of different men and then expect a guy to marry them in their 30s?

[wardaddy]

man ...some freepers are sour...I was talking about female enjoyment...not necessarily marriage

sorry...live your life as you like...I got variety outta my system before marrying in my 30s...

I did fine..see my homepage

neither of us were vestal virgins but I got no complaints

just seems to me the nice parts of Big D got some babes galore...good southern girls and some fairly hot latinas too

[wardaddy]

You claim you don’t generalize yet you have a hard on for men after your crappy ex husband dear.

You do practically all the bad manners you detest in us...men...your own self.

I got burned by an ex wife....a real harridan...I mean Joan Crawford stereotype...that wild scared horse eyes look

I got up...dusted myself off , gave her all the money..it was easier and she had primary residential custody which is of course the big hammer but I kept on looking and loving women till I found a better mate..still do..same one 20 years..a fine Charleston/Nashville gal who likes being a mom, wife and female without all that competitive distraction

and no short bobs and gray hair or mandals..lol

girls are frustrating God knows at times but they are still best thing going...men and wimmin are just truly distinctly different even to the point of stereotyping despite culture’s best efforts to eradicate what is natural

even you darling..you just need someone be good to you...but you gotta let em

[Responsibility2nd]

Hoo Wee. I'm late to this thread. And just skimming some of the comments I've seen snarking, flame wars, men vs. women comments and a whole lot of other usual replies.

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[tuffydoodle]

I’m late to this thread but all I can say is, last weekend my 4th child (out of 5), a daughter, came home from college and seemed quiet and sad. She told me the story of how her boyfriend of 4 months broke up with her because she wouldn’t have sex with him.
There are still decent girls and guys out there, it’s just difficult to match them up. I told my daughter to keep her standards high, how would she feel if she had slept with the jerk and he broke up with her because that’s obviously all he wanted. Chalk it up to an important lesson learned and move on.

[metmom]

Wow. Way to put relationships in terms of a business marketplace.

That’s a huge part of the problem right there.

[RinaseaofDs]

“Your average courting-age woman spends more on clothes and makeup and hair salons and nail salons, etc., etc.—let alone the time costs of putting it all together—than a man does in picking up a few checks.”

Costs born in this regard are costs that would have already be incurred REGARDLESS of courtship considerations.

My wife wouldn’t walk into Macy’s to return a dress without being showered, in makeup, and dressed in something other than sweats. She was that way before she knew me, and is that way today.

We are under NO illusion that the efforts a woman makes to look good is because of concern for her mate. Please.

If that were the case, there’d be a lot more women out there with long hair.

[metmom]

I think women buy clothes and makeup to impress other women - not to so men will court them. If they wanted to buy things to encourage courting, it would be golf clubs.

You are right, but most women don't get that. They really do think that the clothes and make-up will impress the men.

[Revolting cat!]

I tell ya, men today are SOOOO impressed by women sporting tattoos, dressed all in black like Albanian mafia widows, yapping incessantly on their smarttelephones..

[metmom]

It sounds like my life.

We had one of those kinds of antennas in the attic, and although he never re-did the transmission in the bathtub, I find my oven constantly being used to dry projects and set epoxy for the latest repair job.

You and mr. mm would get on great.

[RinaseaofDs]

You must live in the PacNW.

My wife runs a department full of women, and SHE complains of the crazy.

She keeps hoping they’ll hire a male math teacher just to cut through the estrogen.

[metmom]

What many men fail to figure out is that the way to be happy is to keep your wife happy. Find what "pushes her buttons" in a good way and keep pushing them. For my wife it's always the little things that make a big difference to her. I'll empty out the dishwasher and put dishes away. I'll clear the table after dinner. I always open doors for her and when we go out for dinner (just the two of us) the cellphone stays in the car. She has my absolute undivided attention the entire time.

A little help with the housework can go SOOOOO far.

It's not a matter of her not being able to do it but it's an acknowledgement of the effort she puts into running the house. A husband who comes home at night, eats dinner, watches TV or gets on the computer, and then crashes and spends no time with his wife is telling her by his actions that she is unimportant to him.

And when he expects a warm welcome in bed just because he wants sex and is acting like he's doing her a big favor by offering it to her, he ain't going to get it. Women whose husbands are not interested in them except for sex are sending their wives the signal that they are just using them and no woman wants to feel like she's being used, even by and especially by, her own husband.

AFAIC, keep the flowers, the candy, the dinners, and just spend time with me. Without the investment in time together, I see all that other stuff as just buying my favor or appeasing me.

[RinaseaofDs]

Kids never entered into the discussion because kids don’t seem to be a priority to women anymore.

Nothing is more anti-kid right now that the USA. There is ZERO premium right now on preserving the family.

Indeed, even this new Obamacare crap makes it CHEAPER TO LIVE AS A DIVORCED COUPLE than remain a family.