Spot on. My wife and I met each other while in high school. She was my date on my Senior Prom, I was her date for her Junior and Senior prom. We dated on and off for six years before marrying. I was 23, she was 22.
Twenty-seven years later we have two fantastic sons who are the joys of our lives and are planning our early retirement together.
I was very fortunate to meet her when I did. In many ways we "grew up together" and share the same views on marriage, politics, finances and life. (Note: I cannot emphasize how important agreeing on FINANCES is!)
Many of our friends are married, divorced, married again, divorced again and in some cases getting ready to tie the not a third time. My friends often ask me what makes our marriage successful. My answer is simple: Marriage is the art of compromise. If one goes into it thinking they'll always get what they want out of it, they're destined to fail. Marriage is less about the individual and more about the other person.
Yes it's important that we (men) are happy in our marriages. What many men fail to figure out is that the way to be happy is to keep your wife happy. Find what "pushes her buttons" in a good way and keep pushing them. For my wife it's always the little things that make a big difference to her. I'll empty out the dishwasher and put dishes away. I'll clear the table after dinner. I always open doors for her and when we go out for dinner (just the two of us) the cellphone stays in the car. She has my absolute undivided attention the entire time.
Been that way for 27 years.
My wife has said for years that there's nothing sexier than a man doing the dishes.
Again, the trick is for both of you to do unsolicited things for one another without expectation of quid pro quo. You do things out of love, not as some kind of barter transaction.
Bears repeatin'!
A little help with the housework can go SOOOOO far.
It's not a matter of her not being able to do it but it's an acknowledgement of the effort she puts into running the house. A husband who comes home at night, eats dinner, watches TV or gets on the computer, and then crashes and spends no time with his wife is telling her by his actions that she is unimportant to him.
And when he expects a warm welcome in bed just because he wants sex and is acting like he's doing her a big favor by offering it to her, he ain't going to get it. Women whose husbands are not interested in them except for sex are sending their wives the signal that they are just using them and no woman wants to feel like she's being used, even by and especially by, her own husband.
AFAIC, keep the flowers, the candy, the dinners, and just spend time with me. Without the investment in time together, I see all that other stuff as just buying my favor or appeasing me.