Treat yourself! I cannot STAND this mega-church stuff - and I am a True Believer. I cannot find a church-home that's Old Time Religion enough for me! Annoying.
Posted on 10/24/2014 7:01:50 PM PDT by Steelfish
Joel Osteen or Fortune Cookie? May 12, 2010 The other day I ate some rather extraordinary Thai food for lunch and, on my way out, grabbed a fortune cookie. I cracked it open and read a silly little proverb meant to inspire, I suppose. I wish it had said “Brisk uphill walk after all-you-can-eat Thai is a bad idea.” Never mind. As I waddled my way home, regretting that last bowl of curry (so delicious…), I thought “This fortune sounds like something Joel Osteen would say.”
And then it struck me—there is very little difference between Joel and those fortune cookies (except that the cookies are delicious, of course). And now, to prove it, I will give you these twelve quotes. You tell me which are from the fortune cookies and which are from Joel Osteen.
Note: Many, many fortune cookies were harmed in the preparation of this quiz.
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QUESTION ONE “Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.”
(Excerpt) Read more at challies.com ...
I sometimes use the “Lucky Numbers” to play the lottery. Maybe I will win one day.
Couldn’t find anyone else to moan about tonight?
Since you have a monopoly on truth should I call you Jesus Jr.?
If I do I will give FR $1070.41
Oh didn’t know you were an Osteen follower?
Houston.
Like the folks who hate Rush but have never listened themselves.
Jim and Tammy Faye Baker 2.0
money cometh! /prosperity gospel chant
I’ve listened to the vapid nonsense.
Treat yourself! I cannot STAND this mega-church stuff - and I am a True Believer. I cannot find a church-home that's Old Time Religion enough for me! Annoying.
He is the preacher spoken of in the End Times. Tickling their ears and oblivious to the events of the day.
Osteen is preacher zero.
I can’t find a comfortable church either. I want to sing the old hymns and be warned about the consequences of sin. That’s what I need to hear cuz I’m naturally kinda wayward.
I’ve been listening to Joel twice a day for the past month on my radio. Guess what? My eye stopped twitching, my shoulders aren’t so sore anymore and I feel just plain good. Say what y’all want to, but his sermons just make sense to me and they make me feel less stressed.
He is little more than cross between a used car salesman and a game show host
Very well put. But we have enough idiots who empty their wallets while he laughs all the way to the bank. It is multi-million dollar well crafted consumer-tested advertisement.
It tells the story of a former pastor, Sean Hyman, and how years ago, he discovered a “money code” buried in Biblical text. By using this powerful code, Sean was able to go from making only $15,000 per year to now generously giving away up to $50,000 a year. He was also able to use this “money code” to help his father turn a meager $40,000 retirement account into $396,000.The video details how any person, regardless of their religious beliefs, can use the code in their own life to get out of debt . . . make sound investments . . . and morally build substantial wealth for their family and community.
Two words Marjoe Gortner.... but at least he quit the racket.
Envy and jealousy are terrible things .. they can both kill you; cause you to lose your mind; cause you to go blind; etc., etc., etc.
Instead .. go and build your own realm and don’t worry about the Joel’s of this world. If he’s from GOD, there is nothing you can do to shut him down; if he’s NOT from GOD, GOD is a big enough man to take care of it.
I only know that Joel’s encouraging sermons comforted me when I lost my brother-in-law, my mother, and my youngest son .. all within 5 months of each other. His encouraging messages helped me to just get on with my life and not sit around brooding about things I couldn’t change.
OMG i did a few auto stereo systems for him in the late 70s early 80 creepy dude
Is that old wind bag still on the air?
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