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Congress Urged To Raise Theft Ceiling
Babylon Bee ^ | 01/17/2023 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/17/2023 3:17:59 PM PST by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the deadline fast approaching to increase the amount of money that can be legally stolen from the American people, Congress is being urged to come together and raise the nation's theft ceiling without conditions.

"We need to end the partisan bickering," said House Speaker Kevin McCarthy. "The American people need us to reach across the aisle to steal more and more wealth from them and their future generations. If we don't do this quickly, Congressional pay might be suspended and national parks might close. In other words, we're all gonna die if we don't get this done."

Republicans have sparked showdowns over the theft ceiling in the past, often demanding mild spending cuts so that Americans' stolen wealth will be used more responsibly. Economic experts say this is because they're evil and want people to die. Democrats, however, insist there should be no limit to how much money can be stolen from Americans since Americans are all racist and don't deserve money anyway. It remains to be seen whether any theft ceiling compromise will be made between the two parties before the deadline.

At publishing time, Republicans had already agreed to raise the theft ceiling without conditions.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ceiling; congress; debt; theft

1 posted on 01/17/2023 3:17:59 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Great


2 posted on 01/17/2023 3:21:12 PM PST by thinden (buckle up ....)
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To: DFG

There IS NO DEBT CEILING if you keep raising it. How about just ABOLISH it?


3 posted on 01/17/2023 3:28:34 PM PST by CivilWarBrewing (Get off my back for my usage of CAPS, especially you snowflake males! MAN UP!)
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To: CivilWarBrewing

Agreed—the debt ceiling is a total waste of time—and useless drama.


4 posted on 01/17/2023 3:31:51 PM PST by cgbg (Claiming that laws and regs that limit “hate speech” stop freedom of speech is “hate speech”.)
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To: DFG

Here’s Great Idea what about a Budget , didn’t they have one until Nancy showed up


5 posted on 01/17/2023 4:23:29 PM PST by butlerweave
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To: DFG

Ok, this one fooled me - looking at the source cleared the air.

Ya got me, Bee!


6 posted on 01/17/2023 4:32:16 PM PST by MV=PY (The Magic Question: Who's paying for it?)
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To: DFG

Stop sending money and weapons to Ukraine.


7 posted on 01/17/2023 8:26:15 PM PST by George J. Jetso
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