Posted on 06/14/2023 8:25:53 AM PDT by mononymous
Whenever I see an article, headline, etc., about a same-sex couple (husbands or wives); I am reminded of the following scene from Fawlty Towers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AygIe_C_tSU
So, I thought I’d write the following parody of Fawlty (of the 1970s) dealing with a same-sex couple, based on the scene above, and the characters created by Mr. John Cleese, and Ms. Connie Booth (with apologies to both).
(Two men walk in the main doors.)
Sybil: Good evening.
Man 1: Good evening. I telephoned earlier, we are two husbands.
Sybil: Oh yes. There hasn't been a cancellation, I'm afraid, so it is still a room without bath.
Man 1: That's fine.
Sybil: Good. Would you just fill that in for me please. Yes, we're terribly busy at the moment.
(At his end of the desk Basil freezes and stops typing, Man 2 looks at him. He sees him.)
Basil: Good evening. (Stands up and approaches men) Husbands?
Man 1: ...Yes.
Basil: I'm terribly sorry, we hadn't been told.
Man 2: Told what?
Basil: That you are two husbands!
Man 1: We are.
Basil: So where are your wives? Joining later perhaps?
Man 2: No, I am one husband, and he’s also a husband…
Basil: Yes, I get that; but if you are husbands, there must be wives…
Man 1: You misunderstand; I am his husband, and he’s my husband!
Basil: . . . I'm sorry?
Man 2: I’m his husband…
Man 1: And I’m his husband…
Basil: Two men, two husbands; you must be joking?
Man 2: Certainly not!
Basil: Well, how did you become two husbands? That's most unusual...does one of you pretend to be a wife... ?
Man 1: No, no wife, I’m a husband...
Man 2: ... and I'm a husband.
Basil: Yes, yes, but surely one of you, for a time, must be a wife…I mean there must be a pe…
Sybil: Basil!
Man 1: No, I'm just one husband. My wife, er, husband is another husband.
Sybil: (ringing the bell pointedly) Manuel! Your room is at the top of the stairs along to the left.
Basil: Oh I see! You see, I thought, when you said you were two husbands . . . (Manuel comes running in from the kitchen) that you meant it in the traditional manner, you know, wife, procreation, that sort of thing…
Man 2: Sorry, what century are you living in?
Basil: (Silently counts on his fingers) The last sane one?
Man 1: What?
Basil: You know, the one where people didn’t run around shoving things down other people’s thro…lives!
Man 2: You are a disgusting homophobe!
Basil: Disgusting? Me? Well, that’s rich, isn’t it? Anyway, better a homophobe than being homo-******!
Man 1: I beg your pardon…???
Basil: You heard me; so how long will you be staying in this homophobic dump?
Man 2: (to Man 1) We should just leave!
Man 1: Yes, but if we stay he’d have to cater to us…
Man 2: Good!
Basil: Sorry, Manuel would! (Manuel carrying suitcases, following men, each with one arm around the other, up the stairs) Manuel, see these cheerful people to their room, and when you are done, call the fumigator!
Manuel: Que?
Basil: Call the fu-mi-ga-tor!
Manuel: Sorry, you mean to say…how to say, alli-ga-tor?
Basil: Yes, a close relative of the fumigator, like you are to an ape! Away! Away!
Manuel: Si, Si…(goes up stairs)
Sybil: (Slowly thumbing through a magazine) Basil you really ought to leave these people alone, the government gave them rights…
Basil: Of course they did, protecting their own, as usual! What’s next, dear, polygamy, holy matrimony with farm animals, denying chromosomes exist, declaring the United Kingdom of Sodom and Gomorrah???
Sybil: I really don’t know Basil, perhaps…
(The Major comes down the stairs…)
Major: Fawlty, Fawlty, why does one of those chaps need help up the stairs? Ill, is he?
Basil: They both are, Major…
Major: Nothing contagious?
Basil: No, they are two pretend husbands…
Major: What no wives?
Basil: No, no wives, Major…
Major: Ah, two of those, I see; still, it’s legal now you know old boy…
With a heavy sigh, Basil walks into his office; the Major walks out the main doors.
Nicely done.
Very well done, I could picture the scene in my mind as if I were watching.
Well done.
I thought the main character in the first season of The White Lotus was basically a gay version of Basil Fawlty.
Brilliant. I was very thankful to own a boxed set of Fawlty Towers when I lived in N.Z. and Tonga without TV.
The BBC no longer shows that scene when they air Fawlty Towers.
Yup,ditto. My set even as the Major’s views on Germans...Asian Indians and West Indians.
Yup,I knew that. But my box set has it! That scene wasn’t meant to be racist...it was just meant to show,once again,how Biden-like he had become at that point in his life.
Very clever. Imagining Cleese going on in this way, well beyond the point of polite propriety...it’s funny!
The other one was “The Builders” that made fun of the Irish.
They’ve censored that one too? Yikes!
I like a woman with spirit!
Oh,do you!
That series was flawless in every way. Every regular...and every guest star...was perfect. Perfectly written...perfectly directed...perfectly acted.
“If the good Lord -—”
“Is mentioned once more, I shall move you closer to him.”
This is great! Now have AI make it!
Thanks!
Thank you.
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