Posted on 04/27/2024 9:41:27 AM PDT by DFG
GAZA — Israel announced its complete withdrawal from the Gaza Strip after learning this morning of a protest from a 19-year-old Fine Arts major at Northwestern University named Roxy Barnett.
"Oh my goodness -- we've upset Roxy," said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu as he was briefed on the protest. "I feel so foolish! The war is over, boys. Let Hamas stay in power, forget the hostages, everybody out of Gaza, immediately!!"
According to Israeli intel, Barnett had made a small sign out of cardboard and skipped class to walk around campus chanting. "When I learned of this 19-year-old in America skipping pottery class to chant how bad Israel is, I was shaken to the core," said one Israeli military commander, hastily canceling an upcoming missile strike on a known terror cell. "We thought we needed to destroy terrorists hellbent on raping and murdering Jews. But one look at Roxy's sign, and I knew it was time to pack up and rethink our entire foreign policy strategy."
As news of Israel's withdrawal spread, Barnett's followers praised her as a modern-day hero, with many calling for her to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. "Roxy single-handedly solved the Middle East conflict with a single sign," remarked one admirer. "Gosh, isn't it amazing to see how you can solve millennia-old violent conflicts by screaming at the sky on a college campus in Chicago?
At publishing time, in response to Roxie's latest protest, Donald Trump said he would no longer be running for president and that he had no idea how his campaign made her feel.
Brilliant! Love it....
This is the very best Bee ever.
ROTFLMAO
The Bee consistently makes me laugh out loud. Consistently.
The Babylon Bee does the job liberal arts departments refuse to do.
Dangit! I have to start reading the source before delving into a story; had me going for a moment.
It be a Bee world!
She skipped her pottery class?
LOL. Yesterday it was the student so caught up in protesing they forgot to do their final thesis exam. Today this. Love it Bee.
Ahhh, you had me going there for a moment! :-)
Dangit! I have to start reading the source before delving into a story; had me going for a moment.
Same here.
I only got as far as: Israel Withdraws From Gaza .....
Funny, Bee as usual!!
I needed to get something from the Spanish market, but I saw one of the employees (the cashier) with a Free Palestine t-shirt on her. I just left the food right there and walked out.
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