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Worst Christmas Gifts Ever

Posted on 12/22/2003 1:01:05 PM PST by shotgun

Okay Freepers, it is that time of year when we start wondering what we are going to get from Santa, and of course we are forced to remember the ghosts of Christmas' presents past.

Can anyone beat a USED snow shovel? Hmmmmm


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
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1 posted on 12/22/2003 1:01:06 PM PST by shotgun
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To: shotgun
Socks? Oh wait, I want some of those.
2 posted on 12/22/2003 1:02:53 PM PST by Professional Engineer (pssst Hey Kid, wanna be a Rocket Scientist?)
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To: shotgun
Monogrammed snot rags.
3 posted on 12/22/2003 1:03:05 PM PST by Fred Mertz
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To: shotgun
Used (and broken) 8-track player.
4 posted on 12/22/2003 1:03:32 PM PST by theDentist (Tagline deamed un-inhabitable. Condemned. New Location sought....)
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To: shotgun
A Tuneyville Choo-Choo (ages 3-6) when I was 12. :)
5 posted on 12/22/2003 1:03:45 PM PST by TheBigB (...international law is whatever the United States and Great Britain say it is. - Ann Coulter)
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To: shotgun
"Leaves of Grass"
6 posted on 12/22/2003 1:03:54 PM PST by IncPen ( "Saddam is in our hearts! Saddam is in our hearts!" "Saddam is in our jail!")
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To: shotgun
The flu....caught from your-ex boyfriend.
7 posted on 12/22/2003 1:04:23 PM PST by FeliciaCat
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To: shotgun
I'd take a used snow shovel over barbie dolls anyday...
8 posted on 12/22/2003 1:04:30 PM PST by k2blader (I will shake the nations, and the desired of all nations will come. - Haggai 2:7 -)
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To: Fred Mertz
Point of clarification: These would be gifts that were actually received...
9 posted on 12/22/2003 1:04:31 PM PST by shotgun
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To: shotgun
Well, a nice gift certificate to a local fat farm is one of those gifts that sends multiple messages...
10 posted on 12/22/2003 1:04:38 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: Fred Mertz
Never understood that. Is someone actually afraid someone else might try to take their nasty handkerchief?
11 posted on 12/22/2003 1:04:57 PM PST by ShadowDancer
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To: shotgun
Ok, here are a few things I would not want to see in my Christmas stocking.

1. Nude pictures of Helen Thomas, Hitlery, or Janet el Reno.
2. Anything Chia
3. That stupid Hitlery book.
4. Anything written by Al Franken.
12 posted on 12/22/2003 1:05:04 PM PST by exile (Exile - Helen Thomas tried to lure me into her Gingerbread House.)
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To: TheBigB
*LOL* That's gotta hurt.
13 posted on 12/22/2003 1:05:41 PM PST by k2blader (I will shake the nations, and the desired of all nations will come. - Haggai 2:7 -)
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To: shotgun
Does getting your gallbladder removed two days before Christmas count as a Christmas gift?
14 posted on 12/22/2003 1:05:58 PM PST by Dogrobber
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To: shotgun
I still have them at home in their original box collecting dust. Okay, their proper name is handkerchief.
15 posted on 12/22/2003 1:06:01 PM PST by Fred Mertz
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To: FeliciaCat
You have mistaken me for a "breach loading" shotgun...
16 posted on 12/22/2003 1:06:02 PM PST by shotgun
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To: shotgun
I don't know if this beats a used snow shovel, but it did make me cry.

My boyfriend gave me plastic Star Wars dishes, cups, etc. for Christmas, and to top it all off, they were Episode 1, for goodness' sakes!
17 posted on 12/22/2003 1:06:06 PM PST by small_l_libertarian
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To: shotgun
Underwear from office’s Secret Santa who happened to be my siste...
18 posted on 12/22/2003 1:06:19 PM PST by Ed_NYC
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To: shotgun
His old (used) AF gym shorts and T-shirt my (ex) BF gave me after coming home from Langley.

Hrmpt.
19 posted on 12/22/2003 1:06:24 PM PST by najida (Where is Snake Pliskin when you need him?)
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To: shotgun
There was the year I had possession of the Fruitcake, of course, the next year I got to give it to someone else.

So9

20 posted on 12/22/2003 1:06:53 PM PST by Servant of the 9 (Real Texicans; we're grizzled, we're grumpy and we're armed)
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To: shotgun
I meant my ex-boyfriend, LOL....
21 posted on 12/22/2003 1:07:13 PM PST by FeliciaCat
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To: Dogrobber
Only if they box it up and gift wrap it for you.
22 posted on 12/22/2003 1:07:20 PM PST by ShadowDancer
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To: shotgun

23 posted on 12/22/2003 1:07:39 PM PST by KantianBurke (Don't Tread on Me)
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To: shotgun
A flannel sack with feet, from my husband.. It looked like someone was making clothes for giant weeblewobbles.

I told him I wanted something warm. I was thinking of fur.

24 posted on 12/22/2003 1:07:46 PM PST by OpusatFR (Al Dean and Howard Gore, separated at birth.)
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To: shotgun
Ah - actual gifts...hmm...my brother got one of those plastic singing mounted bass a couple of years ago.

I gave it to him.

25 posted on 12/22/2003 1:08:04 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: exile
"Point of clarification: These would be gifts that were actually received..."

Ok, actually have a few that I actually received.

When I was about ten years old, my old man gave me nothing but tools for Christmas. I can barely tie my own shoes without hurting myself and this idiot gives me a cordless drill? I guess he was trying to turn me into a mechanic. (He failed miserably, I'm a CPA)

26 posted on 12/22/2003 1:08:17 PM PST by exile (Exile - Helen Thomas tried to lure me into her Gingerbread House.)
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To: shotgun
I was about 13 or 14 years old and had been skateboarding and surfing for a few years (read: cool guy) when we went to visit our aunt and uncle we hadn't seen for a few years.

For some reason or other, they didn't believe my brother and I had aged and gave us both Winnie the Pooh printed sheets and pillow cases. We smiled and said, Thank You.
27 posted on 12/22/2003 1:08:28 PM PST by Weimdog
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Comment #28 Removed by Moderator

To: shotgun
I gave a jewelry box to my friend and she gave it back to me about 2 years later. :)
29 posted on 12/22/2003 1:08:51 PM PST by lizbet (If we don't start buy American made things, we won't have any jobs.)
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To: shotgun
5x too large, matronly womens underwear. - Senior citizen type.

(received by my wife when she was in grammer school)
30 posted on 12/22/2003 1:09:17 PM PST by PetroniusMaximus
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To: Dogrobber
Does getting your gallbladder removed two days before Christmas count as a Christmas gift?

I think that comes under "It is better to give, than to receive"

So9

31 posted on 12/22/2003 1:09:28 PM PST by Servant of the 9 (Real Texicans; we're grizzled, we're grumpy and we're armed)
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To: IncPen
"Leaves of Grass"

Lucky you, I only got ice...

32 posted on 12/22/2003 1:10:05 PM PST by Always Right
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To: Fred Mertz
Monogrammed snot rags

Wow you mean you actually didn't like the snot hankies, monogrammed with the intials FR, Toddler got you as a Christmas present.

Don't worry Fred, I am not a member of TOS, I won't be posting your dissing of the Toddler's present. He'll do that himself.

33 posted on 12/22/2003 1:10:35 PM PST by Dane
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To: shotgun
I have a sister in law who has given been some of the worst junk, paper mache wise men (badly made), teapots with parts of other teapots stuck to them. Pure crap that should have been thrown away at the factory instead of sold in the first place. I am embarassed to think she wasted her money on it, even if it cost $.50.But I never sunk to her level, I always gave a nice gift. Finaly this year, she sent a nice floral centerpiece for the table. I don't know what has come over her.
34 posted on 12/22/2003 1:10:41 PM PST by Ditter
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To: IncPen
"Leaves of Grass"

Bubba was kind of a cheapskate, huh?

35 posted on 12/22/2003 1:11:09 PM PST by DeFault User
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To: shotgun; Fred Mertz
Point of clarification: These would be gifts that were actually received...

For our favorite Dem'Rats: Saddam Hussein served to the American people on the President's turkey platter! Not exactly what they were hoping for during this, their non-Christian secular Rama-Kwanza-dan Winter Vegan-Solstice Holiday season!

36 posted on 12/22/2003 1:11:11 PM PST by HenryLeeII
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To: small_l_libertarian
"I don't know if this beats a used snow shovel, but it did make me cry.

My boyfriend gave me plastic Star Wars dishes, cups, etc. for Christmas, and to top it all off, they were Episode 1, for goodness' sakes!"

You mean his thoughtful Star Wars gift made you cry tears of joy? I feel the same way when Mrs. Exile gives me my Christmas Doctor Who books and videos. (Actually, I buy them myself, and she buys herself a playstation 2 game. It's not very traditional, but we each get what we want)
37 posted on 12/22/2003 1:11:14 PM PST by exile (Exile - Helen Thomas tried to lure me into her Gingerbread House.)
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To: exile
My worthless EX- father-in-law is the culprit here. Then the next year he gave me an emergency road side flare kit. To add insult to injury, he tried to justify it by saying what a great gift it was and that I would love it!!!

I yelled at him right in the living room that I hoped I would never have to used the D*&# thing...what a friggin idiot he was...

38 posted on 12/22/2003 1:13:23 PM PST by shotgun
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To: FeliciaCat
You should have been thankful you weren't dating Pub_Fight..See Post #28

The gift that keeps on giving...

39 posted on 12/22/2003 1:19:37 PM PST by shotgun
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To: shotgun
Yikes!
40 posted on 12/22/2003 1:22:32 PM PST by FeliciaCat
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To: exile
No, they were not tears of joy.

Here are the relevant parts...

Boyfriend
Christmas
Plastic
Jar-Jar Binks

No joy in Christmasville.
41 posted on 12/22/2003 1:35:20 PM PST by small_l_libertarian
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To: shotgun
My Ex-InLaw's gave me a subscription to Playboy for the first Christmas.
Wait, that was very useful as it turned out.

Okay for one Christmas they bought me a Cabbage-Patch-Doll.
I'm 30 freak-in year's old and these fools give me a doll. The last time I played with a doll was when I was 6 and decided to give one of my sister's dolls and hair cut.
The thing ended up looking worst then Buckwheat.

So I play all happy and crap and open the the box up and read the stupid Birth Certificate that used to come with it. The things name was "Edwina".
I dang near freaked out.

My name is Edward. I boxed it back up, and have never seen it since.

That was 1986. I think the EX still has it.




EDWARD

42 posted on 12/22/2003 1:38:56 PM PST by husky ed (FOX NEWS ALERT "Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead" THIS HAS BEEN A FOX NEWS ALERT)
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To: shotgun
The ex father in law being the father of your wife in your homepage? Me confused.
43 posted on 12/22/2003 1:39:02 PM PST by jjm2111
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To: jjm2111
Okay...at that time prior to my divorce, my ex-wife's father was a great man who would give me total manly gifts that ranged from ($$$)fishing tackle to hunting equipment ($$$$).Then after we had exchanged gifts, he and I would retire to the den for a few glasses of fine single malt, The Glen Livet. Unfortunately he passed away and my mother-in-law married this other complete MORON. He is the ex-father-in-law that I am referring too...
44 posted on 12/22/2003 1:52:13 PM PST by shotgun
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To: shotgun
My hubbys aunt gave us a matched set of 'stuff': 1 pair boxershorts, 1 picture frame (wallet size), and 1 pair earrings. The frame and earrings were that really cheap looking wanna be gold stuff with large moons and suns on them. The boxers were dark blue with the suns and moons on them. The boxers ended up being too small for hubby and I react badly to cheap metal so couldnt wear the earrings. Figured why break up a set? So the frame followed the shorts and earrings into the garbage.
45 posted on 12/22/2003 1:52:32 PM PST by EuroFrog (A chicken by any other name still tastes like chicken.)
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To: husky ed
Mommmmmmmaaaaaaaa.....
46 posted on 12/22/2003 1:52:45 PM PST by shotgun
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To: shotgun
My worthless EX- father-in-law is the culprit here. Then the next year he gave me an emergency road side flare kit. To add insult to injury, he tried to justify it by saying what a great gift it was and that I would love it!!!

OMG. I got one of those from a boyfriend (we'd been going out for two years, too!). I got him a nice sweater and some other stuff. And I got a road service kit. Swell. I tried my best to look pleased and gracious. Don't know if I succeeded.

47 posted on 12/22/2003 1:55:58 PM PST by bootless (Never Forget)
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To: shotgun
I know of the worst actual present given at Christmastime....when I was a kid, me and my brother, mother and father opened all our gifts on Christmas morning...then we went downstairs, to see what my aunt and uncle and two cousins had gotten....

Now, my uncle could be a real jerk....this one year, he actually got my aunt a giant sized box of Tide for Christmas...I swear, its true....well, my dad just burst out laughing and we kids just snickered...my mom was horrified, and my aunt was crying....its was all too terrible....of course, my uncle was also a drunk, in addition to being a jerk, and I guess in a drunken stupor, he bought her this box of Tide, and figured that was good enough....

But the whole affair lasted in our family legends forever....the following Christmas, my dad got the bright idea of buying my mom a whole bunch of crap for Christmas, like a pile of gag gifts, while the extra special real gifts were hidden away....

Poor mom...she opened all her odd gifts, things like clipboards for holding her maps while they traveled, a fly swatter, ace bandages for her sore arms, and oh yes, a giant sized box of Tide....we had such fun wrapping those presents in pretty Christmas paper, and laughing at how mad mom was going to be, when she opened those presents and thought that was all she was getting....

Mom opened all of her nasty gifts, and burst into tears...of couse, we kids just laughed...dad ran into his closet and came out laden down with all her real gifts, which were wonderful and splendid, and she was so happy...

But that started a tradition in our family, which lasted until we kids grew up and moved away from home....every Christmas, the hunt was on, to find the lousiest gifts to give mom on Christmas morning, before she got her actual good presents....

And all his started because my jerky, drunken uncle gave his wife a giant sized box of Tide for Christmas...
48 posted on 12/22/2003 2:04:13 PM PST by andysandmikesmom
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To: andysandmikesmom

I think your uncle's gonna take 1st prize on this thread.
49 posted on 12/22/2003 5:15:40 PM PST by SouthernFreebird
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To: shotgun
Two, padded toilet seats.

Beat THAT!
50 posted on 12/22/2003 6:44:17 PM PST by AlwaysLurking
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