Bat Boy To Be Knighted!

Weekly World News ^ | March 30, 2004

[presidio9]

Queen Elizabeth is reportedly set to knight Bat Boy after the intrepid freak of nature saved a British army patrol in Iraq!

According to official sources, the pointy-eared hero sniffed out an ambush laid by terrorists and warned the five soldiers in the nick of time.

The recommendation for Bat Boy's knighthood was made by a top British commander and reads in part:

"Showing total disregard for his own safety, Bat Boy engaged the terrorists in a small-arms firefight. Despite being wounded, Bat Boy then ran three miles and warned an army patrol of the terrorist force. The enemy fighters were later attacked by gunships and sustained heavy casualties."

[presidio9]

[HarryCaul]

Well, seriously, I have to give them credit for knowing when to run with a good thing.

[dirtboy]

I've come to the conclusion that whoever makes up all this Batboy idiocy also moonlights as a speechwriter for John Kerry.

[presidio9]

ping

[End Times Sentinel]

I assume he was a member of the British Army if he was in Iraq.  The Brits are far more enlightened in their enlistment requirements than we are.  I'll never forget meeting with the recruiter, full of dreams of valor, glory, a crew cut and a pair of G.I. glasses only to be told sternly "No Lobster Boys!"

 

Owl_Eagle

”Unleash the Hogs of Peace.”
P.J. O'Rourke Parliament of Whores

I assume he was a member of the British Army if he was in Iraq.  The Brits are far more enlightened in their enlistment requirements than we are.  I'll never forget meeting with the recruiter, full of dreams of valor, glory, a crew cut and a pair of G.I. glasses only to be told sternly "No Lobster Boys!"

[freedomlover]

Bat Boy: "There is no spoon"

[mewzilla]

Glad he's on our side :)

[AmishDude]

And to think I knew him when he was Bat Toddler.

[Revolting cat!]

Yeah, that's all fine and good but will he testify under oath in public in front of the 9-11 commission?

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Last I saw ( in the checkout line ) he was training for special operations to fight the war, that was over a year ago.

...Bat Boy then ran three miles...

Why didn't he just fly there?

[Constitution Day]

This should be Breaking News.

[HarryCaul]

Wanna know something really scary?

Bat Boy has undoubtably just been added to some Al-Qaeda cell's hitlist.

[mewzilla]

LOL! Talk about psy-ops.

[Tarantulas]

Yeah, along with Ernie. Or was it Bert?

[presidio9]

Why didn't he just fly there?

That had me confused too. In earlier stories, I seem to recall Bat Boy flying. However, in the picture that accompanies this story, Bat Boy is clearly wingless. Could this be a new Bat Boy, and if so, how do we know we can trust him?

[threat matrix]

Bat boy only testifies in closed session.

[Alouette]

You'd think Bat Boy would be Bat Adult by now, and making it with chicks.

[smadurski]

"I've come to the conclusion that whoever makes up all this Batboy idiocy also moonlights as a speechwriter for John Kerry."

well well now we know one of the foreign leaders thats wants Kerry to beat Bush.

[presidio9]

I thought you said "chicks"

[Alouette]

I thought you said "chicks"

I mean, of his own species.