Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Yard Sign
10-05-04 | Unknown

Posted on 10/05/2004 11:16:07 AM PDT by kkalman

GOOD ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last Thursday I put out one of my Bush/Cheney signs in my front yard. Between midnight and 3:00 a.m. someone stole it. On Friday night I put out sign No. 2. Since I didn't have to get up early, I thought my dog and I would "stake out" our sign. This time I put the sign a little closer to the gate leading to my backyard. With my dog on an extra long leash, I planted myself on a lawn chair and read "Unfit for Command" by flashlight until about 1:00 a.m. Here comes the fun part . . . I noticed that the car coming down the street was slowing down and pulling over to the curb right next to my yard. Sure enough, he gets out of his car and heads right for my sign. Just as he was about to uproot and desecrate it, I opened my gate and let my dog make the initial introduction! As he ran to hide behind the rear end of his car, I promptly moved to the driver-side door, which was still open. It was a fairly nice car with power everything and still running. While my dog continued to "introduce" herself, I rolled up the window and hit the power door lock button. With that, I slammed the door, grabbed my Bush sign and headed into the back yard.

And now for the "rest of the story." About 40 minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to one of our city's finest . . . the Vancouver Police Department. The officer asked me what was going on and when I told him, he could not stop laughing! I followed him out to the perp's car and stood there while he asked the guy a few more questions. Upon learning that the guy lived a couple of streets down, I -- knowing what was about to happen -- asked him, "Why do you have Oregon plates on your car if you live just down the street (here in Vancouver, Wash.)?" Oregon has no sales tax, so often Washington residents will buy and register cars in Oregon to avoid paying sales tax . . . it's a crime and the fine is pretty stiff. Here comes the best part. . . . The look on this guy's face told me he knew he was about to get busted. When the officer asked for his license and registration, the "Democrat" mumbled that (his license) was suspended. Just for kicks and giggles I asked the officer if he smelled any alcohol coming from the guy! The officer looked at me, smiled and promptly gave him a field breathalyzer test. Guess what? You got it, he blew a .10, legally drunk in the state of Washington.

DUI, illegal registration and the brand of "MORON," all 'cause he hates Bush!

Sincerely,

Bob

Cost of Bush signs: $5.95 each Cost of Flashlight batteries: $3.95/Pack Seeing a Leftwing Numbskull carted off to the hoosegow: Priceless.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: fiction
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-82 next last

1 posted on 10/05/2004 11:16:07 AM PDT by kkalman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: kkalman

So this happened to you?


2 posted on 10/05/2004 11:17:30 AM PDT by dirtboy (Kerry could have left 'Nam within a week if Purple Hearts were awarded for shots to the foot.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

LOL. Karma, big time....


3 posted on 10/05/2004 11:17:48 AM PDT by eureka! (It will not be safe to vote Democrat for a long, long, time...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman


EXCELLENT!


4 posted on 10/05/2004 11:18:16 AM PDT by onyx (Please don't be a FReeloader. Be a FReepin monthly donor!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

I saw this a few weeks ago. I'd bet it's an urban legend.


5 posted on 10/05/2004 11:18:32 AM PDT by Piranha
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

6 posted on 10/05/2004 11:18:33 AM PDT by evets (God bless president George W. Bush)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

rofl, that's awesome.


7 posted on 10/05/2004 11:18:38 AM PDT by Se7eN
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

Great story!


8 posted on 10/05/2004 11:18:47 AM PDT by annyokie (Now with 20% More Infidel!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

LOL, That is the best of the day!


9 posted on 10/05/2004 11:18:52 AM PDT by mondoman (si vis pacem, para bellum)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

This sounds too good to be true!


10 posted on 10/05/2004 11:18:53 AM PDT by sam_paine (X .................................)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

Who cares if it's a vanity... who cares if the tale is apocryphal... BUMP BUMP BUMP!!! Good stuff.


11 posted on 10/05/2004 11:19:18 AM PDT by ericthecurdog ("We are conservatives. This great Republican Party is our historical house. This is our home.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

Bravo =- we need thousands more like you...or whoever had the gall to do such.


12 posted on 10/05/2004 11:19:50 AM PDT by Freedom'sWorthIt
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

BUMP!


13 posted on 10/05/2004 11:20:13 AM PDT by itslex71 (southern by birth, republican by the grace of my dad)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

Welcome to Free Republic. So, this happened to you, personally? Or was it something you got somewhere else?


14 posted on 10/05/2004 11:20:26 AM PDT by MineralMan (godless atheist)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Piranha
It's from here:

Rathergate is a 'sign' of the times: Larry Elder relays hilarious tale of Democrat caught stealing

15 posted on 10/05/2004 11:20:28 AM PDT by Constitution Day
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Howlin; Alia

hello - check this out for a smile.


16 posted on 10/05/2004 11:20:47 AM PDT by Freedom'sWorthIt
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: dirtboy

Dude, you're hardcore.


17 posted on 10/05/2004 11:20:48 AM PDT by mlbford2 ("What self respecting man wears Spandex?" -- Zell Miller)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: MineralMan

See my #15


18 posted on 10/05/2004 11:20:59 AM PDT by Constitution Day
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

Excellent story thanks for sharing!


19 posted on 10/05/2004 11:21:04 AM PDT by Legion04
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Constitution Day

I thought it sounded too good. So, is it a troll?


20 posted on 10/05/2004 11:21:24 AM PDT by MineralMan (godless atheist)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: kkalman
Your newbie status makes me suspicious.

Since crimes are reported in the local papers "police beat" section, how bout posting the write up from the paper.

21 posted on 10/05/2004 11:21:29 AM PDT by Phantom Lord (Advantages are taken, not handed out)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

I LOVE YOU BOB!!


22 posted on 10/05/2004 11:21:38 AM PDT by dormee
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

Poifect! :)


23 posted on 10/05/2004 11:21:41 AM PDT by saveliberty (Liberal= in need of therapy, but would rather ruin lives of those less fortunate to feel good)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Constitution Day

Awesome!


24 posted on 10/05/2004 11:21:48 AM PDT by mabelkitty (Do not indulge the Negative Nervous Nellies with reassurances.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: kkalman
I no longer have dogs.

I guess I will have to rely on "snubby" or his big cousin "Colt Python".

25 posted on 10/05/2004 11:21:54 AM PDT by lormand (Dead People Vote DemocRAT)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: upier

ping


26 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:04 AM PDT by ml/nj
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Constitution Day

I knew I had read that before. I loved it.


27 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:06 AM PDT by tioga
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: dirtboy

This has been circulating in some e-mails


28 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:21 AM PDT by fritzz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: MineralMan

I don't know. Gotta get something done before I leave work, anyway.


29 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:30 AM PDT by Constitution Day
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: kkalman
LOL. That is soooo funny!!!

BTTT

30 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:38 AM PDT by concerned about politics (Vote Republican - Vote morally correct!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman
Is this true and did it happen to you?

It just seems too damn good to be true, more like an e-mail chain letter (with a similar one going around about a Kerry sign stealer). Just asking.

31 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:45 AM PDT by DTogo (U.S. out of the U.N. & U.N out of the U.S.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

I have had six signs stolen here in MD. I must get a dog, lol

Great work!


32 posted on 10/05/2004 11:22:46 AM PDT by man from mars
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

you.... are my hero


33 posted on 10/05/2004 11:23:10 AM PDT by Revelation 911
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

Fantastic story! You need to send it to Rush!

Mine's not so funny, but a rural household I drive by every day had a Kerry sign, along with other Democratic candidates. When I noticed the Kerry sign had vanished, I dropped in Kerry's headquarters here in town and got a replacement. I went to the guy's door, handed him the sign and told him I'm a major Bush supporter, but we Republicans are great believers in free speech and people who steal yard signs suck. His jaw was still on the ground as I drove off.


34 posted on 10/05/2004 11:23:31 AM PDT by Spok
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DTogo

See Message 15. This is a bogus post, even if it is funny as heck. The poster should have referenced the source.


35 posted on 10/05/2004 11:23:40 AM PDT by MineralMan (godless atheist)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: Piranha

You're right -- It's fiction. Snopes doesn't list it, but Truthorfiction does.


36 posted on 10/05/2004 11:23:47 AM PDT by ZGuy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: mlbford2

I have my reasons in this instance - namely, it was posted days ago, and the poster didn't source it or say whether it was him or he got it via email.


37 posted on 10/05/2004 11:24:17 AM PDT by dirtboy (Kerry could have left 'Nam within a week if Purple Hearts were awarded for shots to the foot.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: Piranha

I'm sure it is, but still funny as h**l. It made me laugh. I'm a sucker for a good story.


38 posted on 10/05/2004 11:24:24 AM PDT by tdadams ('Unfit for Command' is full of lies... it quotes John Kerry)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Phantom Lord

Sounds like a made up story.


39 posted on 10/05/2004 11:24:30 AM PDT by 1Old Pro
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

BRAVO! I hope this is for real and not made up!


40 posted on 10/05/2004 11:24:32 AM PDT by wayne_shrugged
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sam_paine
This sounds too good to be true!

Oh come on. An unknown source posted on the internet, this has got to be legit. The only thing that would make it more legit, is if it were an e-mail that had already been forwarded a dozen times.

41 posted on 10/05/2004 11:24:42 AM PDT by Always Right
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

LOL How funny!


42 posted on 10/05/2004 11:24:57 AM PDT by NRA2BFree
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

Dang! Some guys have ALL the luck ! That is just ...AWESOME


43 posted on 10/05/2004 11:25:27 AM PDT by UsnDadof8 (Proud Virginian)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: 1Old Pro

Constitution Day has shown that it comes from a Larry Elder column. But nowhere in the article does Larry provide evidence that it is true.


44 posted on 10/05/2004 11:25:44 AM PDT by Phantom Lord (Advantages are taken, not handed out)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: tdadams; John O

Indeed...and I know too many people who might just use this story line in real life to protect their own signs.

Hey John O -- wanna borrow Belle?


45 posted on 10/05/2004 11:25:58 AM PDT by andie74 (W stands for Women)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]

To: kkalman
... a GREAT story. (I heard it before)

On my signs (which I know ar likely to be lifted), I swab a concentrated scent that is used in "Big Stinky."

Big Stinky is a high volume fly trap used in and around agricultural buildings.

The substance reminds flies of their favorite munchies and once deposited on the hands of the perp, will not be washed off for a couple days.

If you see someone in your office (in Northern Virginia) with a bunch of flies buzzing around and his wife is making him sleep outside then you will know what he has been doing under the cover of darkness.

46 posted on 10/05/2004 11:26:44 AM PDT by kinsman redeemer (the real enemy seeks to devour what is good)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Phantom Lord

Lighten up, Francis.


47 posted on 10/05/2004 11:26:55 AM PDT by UsnDadof8 (Proud Virginian)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: kkalman; Salvation; CyberCowboy777

ROTFLOL!
This is TOO rich!

Keeper of the lists...
do that thing you do SO well! ;o)


48 posted on 10/05/2004 11:27:55 AM PDT by dixiechick2000 (President Bush is a mensch in cowboy boots.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: kkalman

Hillarious


49 posted on 10/05/2004 11:28:17 AM PDT by smith288 (Only if Al Qaeda was a debate team would they be scared of Kerry... Bush 04)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: evets

"OWW. Why did you kick me in the shin, you horsefaced peckerwood?"

50 posted on 10/05/2004 11:28:24 AM PDT by AppyPappy (If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Be Made In Prolonging The Problem.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-82 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson