Surgeons and Democrats

The first surgeon said, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responded, "Yeah, but you should see electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon said, "Well, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimed in, "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Democrats are, without a doubt, the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, no spine ... and the head and the ass are interchangeable."

Four Parachutes

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player; the Lakers need me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first pack and left the plane.

The second passenger, Hillary Clinton said, "I am the wife of the former U.S. President, a Senator from New York, and a potential future president. And I am the smartest woman in American history, so America's people don't want me to die." She took the second pack and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I am not going to jump. Or at least I don't think I will Jump. Well I guess I will Jump. NO, I don't think that I'm going to jump. Yes I am. I am America's smartest man, a Yale graduate, Vietnam vet, and the next U.S. President. America needs my leadership." He then pondered the situation for a minute, grabbed the pack next to him and jumped.

The fourth passenger, President George W. Bush, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country well, I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The girl said, "That's okay, President Bush, There's a parachute left for you. America's smartest man just jumped out with my school bag."

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