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Kerry concedes...before deciding not to concede
Waiting up till 5 in the morning | 03-November-04 | Ron Pickrell

Posted on 11/03/2004 7:06:32 AM PST by pickrell

As I understand it...

John Edwards has announced that he will personally insure that every vote will be conted. He has also announced that he and John Kerry have worked tirelessly to guarantee that the sun WILL rise this morning, and that table vinegar will continue to leave a sour taste in every American's mouth.

And speaking of George Soros, the Democrats are puzzled as to how they went wrong with their campaign to take big money out of politics. We sent our reporters in to question them, but no little people are allowed on the Kerry estate. Their spokesman later assured the media that the Kerry campaign, considering the likely scenario that Alaska may explode, and that Ohio may secede from the Union this morning, thereby bringing Kerry-Edwards to within the margin of hair, with or without combing, now feel tremendously bucked up.

This is several letters of the alphabet away from the normal state of mind of the average liberal democrat.

The exit pollsters were mildly questioned by the sympathetic network media as to the minor errors in predicting the massive Kerry win early yesterday afternoon. Explaining their methodology, "We scientifically interviewed every 20th college student wearing a "KISS" T-shirt and sporting a vacant look in his eye. How our results came to be skewed", the spokesman puzzled, "we just haven't a clue...".

America apparently agrees massively with that last comment from them, as our exit polling (taken on the actual ballot) now shows.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: waffle

1 posted on 11/03/2004 7:06:33 AM PST by pickrell
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To: pickrell
I posted this before, but repeating it here:
Kerry has held true to his image. But, he had Flip-FLOPPED for the last time. We are all awaiting his concession speech.

"I thought I was President. And then I didn't."

2 posted on 11/03/2004 7:16:03 AM PST by CitizenM
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To: pickrell

John Edwards has to get naked to count to 21.

But he did learn fractions at an early age.

Kerry/Edwards... YOU ARE FIRED!


3 posted on 11/03/2004 10:30:49 AM PST by A Real Dan Fan... NOT (John F. Kerry. As useful as a beer fart in a crowded elevator.)
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