Skip to comments.Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?
Posted on 11/12/2004 12:47:19 PM PST by valerino
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
* Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
* Does the man look poor or Oppressed?
* Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
* What does my wife think?
* Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
* What does the law say about this situation?
* Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
* Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
* Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
* Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
* If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
* We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
* This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Southern Republican's Answer:
* BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
* click.....(sounds of reloading).
* BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
* Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
Should have been hollow points!!
Does that mean us yankeepublicans are better shots?
Democrat: "Why'd you shoot him 43 times?:
Southern Republican: "Ran out of ammunition."
This is a trick question. No Democrat would be carrying a Glock. (Unless he/she were campaigning for President...)
Democrat. "why did you only shoot him once?"
Yankeepublican "Cause I was done".
Trick the Quebecois into seceeding. Once they get the ball rolling...
Here's another one, Lonesome in Mssachussets:
Judge to Witness Policeman: "How could you shoot him 21 times?"
Witness Policeman: "Had to reload, your honor!"
Of course. Once one seceeds it is game over for Canada. For instance if the West (Alberta and BC) left, only Ontarios would remain to continue to give welfare to the remaining provinces. Ontario would say "screw this" and leave Canada as well.
"Once one seceeds it is game over for Canada."
Yeah, that's pretty much the conventional wisdom. Bloc Quebecois (Socialist, Nationalist, Separatist - Hey! Isolationist/Antiimperialist Nazis!) actually holds a huge majority of Quebec's seats in Parliament. Is the Quebec provincial government composed similarly (70% Bloc Quebecois)?
Yankee Republican - one shot - one kill. Conserve ammo to kill more terrorists until there are no more.
I didn't realize what hyper-socialists the Bloc was until last election. I can't believe they expect the rest of Canada to support them.
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