Posted on 12/05/2004 8:34:00 PM PST by nhoward14
1. Stand in front of a supermarket wearing a Santa suit, ringing a bell and wishing everyone a Happy Hanukkah.
2. Wrap yourself in swaddling clothes and lay in the manger of the neighbor's nativity scene.
3. Put on a Santa suit and open a mall kiosk that sells reindeer jerky and Easter Bunny filets.
4. Call Park Rangers in your area and tell them Rudolph is sick. Ask if you can borrow one of their reindeer. If they tell you no, then yell at them telling them they are heartless Scrooges for ruining Christmas for all the children around the world.
5. Wear a Santa suit to the nearest red light district and stand on the corner saying "Ho!" as women walk by.
6. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children that they've been naughty and won't be getting any presents this year.
7. Create snow sculptures in your yard of snowmen robbing Santa Claus.
8. Buy a package of Keebler's E.L. Fudge Sandwich Cookies and hand them out to children saying this is what happens to the bad elves.
9. Decorate your yard to look like a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer crashed and burned. Walk back and forth along the street muttering, "Oh, the humanity!"
10. Get a job playing Santa at a corporate Christmas party and ask everyone if they'd like to see some naked pictures of Santa with the Boss's wife.
11. Sell jars of water, advertising them as Frosty the Snowman urns.
12. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children they'll get what you give 'em and that's that!
13. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children you're sick of the milk and cookies crap and you'd prefer a beer and a plate of hot wings instead.
14. Sell Grinch-skin rugs.
15. Stand on a street corner selling dime bags of mistletoe.
16. Post a sign in front yard that says "Carolers Welcome." When they get almost to the front door turn on the sprinklers.
17. Randomly replace one bulb in your neighbor's lights so they no longer work. Repeat this every day until Christmas.
18. Decorate your yard for the holidays using your neighbor's decorations.
Merry Christmas!
number 11 is a good one
Fun Things To Do To Your Roommate During Christmas
1) Claim to have been a Christmas tree in your past life ... when your roommate brings one into the room scream bloody murder.
2) Go to the mall with your roommate ... sit on Santa's lap and then refuse to get off.
3) Wear a santa suit all day ... deny that you are wearing it.
4) Sit in corner in fetal position rocking back and forth chanting "Santa Clause is comin' to town."
5) Hang stocking with your roommate's name on it and fill it with coal and sharp objects ... when questioned by roommate ... respond by saying, "You've been very naughty this year."
6) Paint your nose red and put on antlers and complain about being left out of all the reindeer games.
7) Wrap yourself in nothing but Christmas lights and roll around in the snow.
8) Sing ... "All I want for Christmas is my roommate's two front teeth."
9) Build a snowman with your roommate. When you put the hat on and it doesn't come to life, scream hysterically "It didn't work!"
10) Whip your roommate and shout "On Comet, on Cupid ... etc."
11) Tear down your roommate's Christmas decorations while muttering "bah humbug!"
12) Wake up every morning screaming, "Ghost of Christmas future have mercy on my soul!"
13) Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the best parts first.
14) Wear a long white fake beard and insist that all your roommates friends "give it a yank."
15) Recite over and over about how the Grinch stole Christmas while in your underwear standing in front of a mirror.
16) Smoke mistletoe and do what comes naturally.
17) Watch your roommate sleep and when they wake up start singing "He sees you when you're sleeping ..."
18) Steal a life size nativity scene and put it in your room ... when your roommate questions you say "I had to let them stay here ... there was no more room at the inn!"
"12. Get a job as a mall Santa and then tell all the children they'll get what you give 'em and that's that!"
Judge Smails as Santa: "YOU'LL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!"
Creatively re-arrange the neighbor's animal characters to make it look like they're 'doing it'.
5. Wear a Santa suit to the nearest red light district and stand on the corner saying "Ho!" as women walk by.
That's funny!
Somebody did exactly that at my supervisor's Christmas party this weekend!
I did very similar abut four years ago (with his wife being in on the scheme)....he's a German and on several occasions takes the opportunity to slam Jews; so on their front yard lit tree, I did a "disconnect" and wrapped it all in blue lights.
It took him until the second evening to even notice it.
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