Posted on 1/24/2005, 7:31:16 PM by demlosers
1.The female makes the rules.
2.The rules are subject to change by the female at any time without prior notification.
3.No male can possibly know all the rules. Attempts to document the rules are not permitted.
4.If the female suspects that the male may know some or all of the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5.The female is never wrong.
6.If the female is wrong, it is because of an egregarious misunderstanding which was the direct result of something the male did, said, did not do, or did not say.
7.If rule 6 is invoked, the male must apologize immediately for having been the cause of the misunderstanding without any clues from the female as to what he did to have caused the misunderstanding. See rule 13.
8.The female may change her mind at any time for any reason or no reason at all. 9.The male is never permitted to change his mind or under circumstances without the express written consent of the female which is given only in cases where the female wanted him to change his mind but gave no indication of that wish. See rules 6, 7, 12, and 13.
10.The female has the right to be angry or upset for any reason, real or imagined, at any time and under any circumstance which in her sole judgement she deems appropriate. The male is not to be given any sign of the root cause of the female's being angry or pset. The female may, however, give false or misleading reasons to see if the male is paying attention. See rule 13.
11.The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
12.Under no circumstances may the female give the male any clue or indication whether or why she wants him to be angry or upset. 13.The male is expected to read the mind of the female at all times. Failure to do so will result in punishments and penalties imposed at the sole discretion of the female.
14.The female may, at any time and for any reason, resurrect any past incident without regard to temporal or spacial distance, and modify, enlarge, embellish, of wholly reconstruct it in order to demonstrate to the male that he is now or has in the past been wrong, insensitive, pig-headed, dense, deceitful, and/or oafish.
15.The female may use her interpretation of any past occurrence to illustrate the ways in which the male has failed to accord her the consideration, respect, devotion, or material possessions, he has bestowed on other females, domestic pets or barnyard animals, sports teams, automobiles, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, or coworkers. Such illustrations are non-rebuttable.
16.If the female is experiencing PMS, Post-PMS, or Pre-PMS, the female is permitted to exhibit any manner of behaviors she wishes without regard to logical consistency or accepted norms of human behavior.
17.Any act, deed, word, expression, statement, utterance, thought, opinion, or belief by the male is subject to the sole, subjective interpretation of the female, other external factors not-withstanding. Alibis, excuses, explanations, defenses, reasons, extenuations, or rationalizations will not be entertained. Abject please for mercy and forgiveness are acceptable under some circumstances, especially when accompanied by tangible evidence of contrition. :-))
Like my daddy said: "I learned a long time ago not to even try to figure them out".
Powder..Patch..Ball FIRE!
Females who attempt to enforce said rules shall be banned from contact with any male who has the cahones he was born with.
roflmfao!! number 6 and 7 detail my wife in a scary way
Yes, number 6 and 7 brings does back memories.
What thoughts should I be having and I will have them.
Just one: "Yes, Dear" is the key to happiness. It's a documented fact.
Yeah, how soon are you entering Witness Protection?
LoL!
egregarious?
egregious and gregarious? That's a funny malaprop.
this is so right & funny I spit out my soda on my keyboard!
Women... can't live with them, can't herd them all into Canada. -- Al Bundy.
Funny! ;-D Can't outthink us, is that your problem?
I love being outsmarted by my husband. After 34 years of marriage, he can still win even though he lets me make all the rules. Sometimes, all he has to do is smile a certain way...
Women, can't live with them, can't live with them.....
All the man has to do is stop being a "nice guy". ;)
All the man has to do is stop being a "nice guy". ;)
Let me check with the boss...I'll get back to you...
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