Posted on 02/28/2005 8:24:39 AM PST by pissant
Be yourself...anything else is just too hard to keep up.
If you're going to talk about me, have some courtesy and address me directly. I wouldn't expect a man to tolerate my bad behavior anymore than I would tolerate disrespectfulness in a man. If that makes me someone with 'gold in my underwear' so be it.
Not sure what you're talking about... This article is about women. They *are* frequently stupid when it comes to relationships. Surely you can't deny that? Men frequently are too, but this article isn't about men.
There ya go.
Real is just much more attractive than fake.
He doesn't say 'act like a jerk. He pinpointed what 'nice guys' often do (such as buying gifts or giving unreturned affection) that they think is nice, but does not work.
Notice I didn't mention you by name but if it'll make you feel better...PING!
Yes. If there's one thing I've learned from Cops is that it's not enough to be a loser, it's not enough to be an a-hole. You have to be both a loser and an a-hole. Then, and only then, will some woman be devoted enough to lean out of a trailer in a tank top and drop her cigarette in panic screaming, "Don't hurt 'im, he didn't mean it!"
Dogging behind a woman that doesn't like you isn't good, but I see nothing wrong with respecting a woman and giving her gifts.
Sorry if my high standards offends you but too bad.
I guess the article is being interpreted in a couple of ways. In some ways, I agree with him...but he puts it rather harshly.
Bottom line is that a guy that is trying wayyyyy hard seems desperate or clingy or both, and that ain't attractive. Same goes for us wimmin, I guess.
Was going to skip this, figuring that sometimes I'm just better off not knowing some things. Not to mention that I'm happily married 30 years, so who cares.
Read it anyway, some of it seems right.
Beyond what is right or wrong behavior, some women will just be attracted to you, while others will not, no matter what. And vice versa.
There's no doubt that ladies like it when a guy is very good at something, also.
Gurl.... I could care less about your standards, we are definitely not competing for the same kind of man. Men on a leash are not attractive to me.
Giving gifts in order to get affection from a woman who doesn't like him is what he was talking about. There is nothing women want to avoid more than a man who offers gifts as bait.
He's not saying 'don't be nice', he's saying don't say "Come on, like me, I'll buy you things and pay for dinner." He's saying it's a subtler form of appeal that is hard to teach with platitudes. If there's a fault in the article it's that it doesn't tell a man how to have charisma. In order to be well received by women, the affection has to be longed for first. Offer it too early or too often, and she's moving out instead of in.
I thought the article was fairly accurate. I have a feeling that, like most of the time in life, just being oneself is the best bet. If you are a jerk, you can't hide it too long anyway. 'Less you are a sociopath like Clinton.
I am NOT your GURL and you have no idea what I like so spare me.
Without mud and a $10 cover charge.
I think there are men who do offer gifts to certain women hoping that will get them to like them. I don't get articles like this because usually they're under a headline of 'how to attract a goreous woman',etc. I wonder if this man is married.
I think much of this works in a pre-marital situation. Once married, the rules change somewhat. Especially after the woman makes a trip to the bathroom with her friends. I've seen it more than once. A gal is deeply in love with some guy. Sometimes they're a jerk. Sometimes not. But in either case when she returns with the friends, I've seen a once loving and warm woman turn icy cold for the rest of the evening minimally and usually for the rest of the relationship.
It's a little harsh, analysis of human behavior is a really dirty science prone to offending many...
I like that he gets that its not that we want him to stop being nice, only that some of the things guys think are nice might be wasting energy in the wrong direction.
I think men and women have different definitions of nice, and that is getting in the way.
I think it's all about having self-confidence. If a man has self-confidence he won't think twice about doing whatever seems right. And I'm not talking about arrogant jerks.
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