Posted on 05/17/2005 11:13:14 AM PDT by pissant
LEAVING a wet towel on the bathroom floor may seem a minor issue but it could be a ticking timebomb when it comes to relationships, scientists have warned.
New research in the United States has identified a list of the most annoying habits that can cause rifts between couples.
Minor irritations in domestic life can mean that people become "allergic" to a partner’s foibles. These may include such crimes as laughing at one’s own jokes or fiddling with the pre-set controls of the car stereo.
Among the most annoying habits are failing to hang up towels, leaving a new loo roll on top of the empty one and using a fork as a backscratcher. Cringe-inducing endearments such as "babykins" also can cause an adverse reaction when aired in public.
When behaviour is repeated, a couple can reach breaking point, said Michael Cunningham, who led the research.
"The basic notion that things become more irksome over time has never been looked at before," he said. "Relatively minor, unpleasant behaviours appear to affect a partner’s emotions in a way that resembles how physical allergens function. The first experience is likely to produce a small negative reaction, but repeated contact increases sensitivity.
"Wet towels on the bathroom floor cause mild irritation. But the reaction gets stronger each time it happens. Through repeated exposure it may produce a social allergy — a reaction of hypersensitive annoyance or disgust."
Many of the habits detailed in the study - published in the academic journal Personal Relationships - are the obvious areas of conflict within relationships.
They include nose-picking, burping and tatty clothes in men, and lateness, verbosity and demands for reassurance about clothing in women.
The study, funded by the US government’s health research arm and conducted in the department of communications at Louisville University, Kentucky, charted the grim "deromanticisation" of more than 160 people’s relationships.
It also compared what was termed "social allergen frequency" (nasty habits), with relationship satisfaction and failure in a further 274 people.
The resulting report, Social Allergies in Romantic Relationships, aims to establish the nature of the link between nasty habits and nasty divorce, though some of the issues raised will provide bored couples with a new range of things to complain about.
It highlights the irritation caused by fabricating anecdotes to enliven dinner parties and the reading of e-mails while holding a conversation about the mortgage.
The researchers suggested women were also more likely to complain about uncouth behaviour and "norm violations", such as drunkenness or flatulence, while men would withdraw and eventually leave.
British researchers agree that childish bickering is common to relationships. It is when there are underlying problems that the minor irritations take on unmanageable proportions.
Denise Knowles, a relationship counsellor with the charity Relate, said: "Minor niggles can seem trivial, but if they are left unchecked they can cause problems. We have so many couples saying to us they argue over everything and nothing. Communication is the key. If a minor habit causes bother, it should be no big deal to change it."
STOP DOING IT!
A NUMBER of dangerous niggles for relationships have been identified:
• Fabricating anecdotes in a desperate effort to liven up a dinner party.
• Using cringe-making terms of endearment such as ‘babykins’ in public.
• Displaying fear during horror films (if male) - this is a turn-off for women.
• Racking up excess luggage charges by going over the top with holiday packing.
• Making a partner spend far longer than they want to on shopping trips.
• Laughing at your own jokes, oblivious to the fact that no-one else is.
• Complaining about partner’s clothes.
• Changing preset controls on the car stereo.
• Tipping clutter from coffee table on to floor to make way for TV dinner.
• Failing to replace loo roll when it is finished.
• Leaving wet towels around.
• Scattering clothes about the bedroom.
• Reading e-mails while claiming to be conducting an important discussion about the mortgage or similar subject.
• Using a fork as a backscratcher.
• Nose-picking.
• Burping.
• Clipping toe-nails, even if newspaper is spread on floor to catch clippings.
• Wearing tatty clothing.
• Getting drunk despite lack of any obvious excuse.
• Failing to control flatulence.
• Being late.
• Asking for explanations of TV dramas, causing partner to miss plot twist.
• Obtaining reassurance about clothing, then changing it anyway.
• Making any attempt to complain about any of the above.
Of course not, at least for the next 35 years. Besides, I hate to grocery shop.
Yes, I am special...which is why I rode the short bus to school.
My thinking exactly. ;o)
Thai and Indian food can get bend-over hot. They have bean sprouts and that big veggie that looks like celery to hide it from you for 8 hours:) There's nothing more teary-eyed in the early morning than that:) You don't need vitamin C or laxatives for 6 months after those peppers.
I think so also. Small enough and fast enough when you want. Frozen shrimp are fast too. Melt butter and add garlic salt and bread rolls and rice. 1/2 hour max.
Leaving the toilet seat up after nocturnal male urination.
i know of one that wasn't on the list:
eating bugers!
Yikes! I hope no one over age 3 does that!
how about forgetting to flush after a mexican dinner....
he was born in 69 two years older than me and we were in our 20's! i rolled over one day and he not only picked it but investedgated it then ate! i nearly pucked and never kissed him again, actually broke up with him on that one...he couldn't break the habit! ewwwwwwwww :S
That is a very vile story. I'm suprised you just didn't shoot him and bury him in the back yard. ;o)
hahahah it was! still makes me sick to my stomach...now everytime you hear "picking nose" you will have a visual of the worst kind muwhahahahaha
Dennis Prager was just discussing this. Were you listening? :)
ping
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