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Crystal ball for 2006 sees giant asteroid crash (or not)
AFP ^ | 1/1/6

Posted on 12/31/2005 11:47:07 PM PST by presidio9

In 2006, Arnold Schwarzenegger will be re-elected governor of California, Internet giant Google will suffer a setback -- and Brazil will hang on to the World Cup.

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If Earth doesn't get wiped out by a giant comet first, that is.

Maybe it will all come true and maybe not, but a legion of soothsayers -- from business gurus to Bible decoders -- is full of predictions for the year to come.

Some use elaborate computer programs like "Torah4U" to ferret out remarkably precise predictions allegedly hidden within the Hebrew text of the Old Testament and the Torah.

One Website complete with diagrammed excerpts from Holy scripture, exodus2006.com, foresees the November re-election of Schwarzenegger along with the re-establishment of a military draft in the United States.

It also predicts that August 3, 2006 will be a blood-drenched day -- yet just a mere shadow of the calamity that will befall us in 2010.

Annie Stanton, one of countless psychics plying her trade on the Internet, predicts that catastrophe will come this year in the form of a massive asteroid crashing into the planet.

Another mystic seer, Anita Nigam from India, has extended her powers of the paranormal into another realm -- sports betting.

For a mere 50 pounds (88 dollars, 73 euros) a week, you can get her insights into the outcomes of English football's Premier League matches. World Cup rates are yet to be announced, but rumor has it she's keen on Brazil.

Bill Gray of Colorado University uses turbo-charged computer models that crunch data on global sea-surface temperatures and atmospheric conditions to forecast the number and intensity of hurricanes that will hit the US each year.

Gray, whose track record is startlingly good, says 2006 will be no picnic -- 17 named tropical storms, nine hurricanes and five major, high-wind hurricanes, nearly twice the historical average in all categories.

Meanwhile "Wired" magazine co-founder John Battelle, whose crystal ball is closely watched by the Internet technology faithful, says "Google will stumble" due to a bad partnership or a legal setback.

He also predicts legislators in the United States and elsewhere will take steps to protect citizens against "the perils of unprotected Internet data mining" into their personal lives, including credit and health histories.

Like many of his high-tech colleagues, he thinks 2006 will be the year when mobile technologies plug into the Web -- so get ready for the first truly usable electronic newspaper.

Another widespread forecast: by the end of the year, there will be a one-in-three chance that you are making your phone calls, especially long-distance ones, over the Internet. For free.

With the possible exception of the Apocalypse, no single event inspires more fevered speculation that the Oscars -- who will be nominated, and who will win.

Odds-makers have cooled considerably on "King Kong" after the release of "Brokeback Mountain," but "Memoirs of a Geisha" and "Jarhead" have loyal supporters too.

But even the most confident and qualified of forecasters are advised to recall Yale economics professor Irving Fisher's infamous assessment of the US stock market.

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau," he said -- on the eve of the 1929 crash that sparked the Great Depression.


TOPICS: UFO's; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: needsmorecowbell; predictions; thebookofarmaments
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1 posted on 12/31/2005 11:47:09 PM PST by presidio9
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To: presidio9
"One Website complete with diagrammed excerpts from Holy scripture, exodus2006.com, foresees the November re-election of Schwarzenegger along with the re-establishment of a military draft in the United States."

They must have diagrammed The Book of Armaments.
2 posted on 12/31/2005 11:50:05 PM PST by decal (Mother Nature and Real Life are conservatives; the Progs have never figured this out.)
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To: presidio9
a legion of soothsayers -- from business gurus to Bible decoders -- is full of predictions for the year to come.

That's not all they're full of.

3 posted on 12/31/2005 11:52:19 PM PST by Coyoteman (I love the sound of beta decay in the morning!)
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To: decal

4 posted on 12/31/2005 11:52:44 PM PST by presidio9 (Islam is as Islam does)
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To: presidio9
"Another mystic seer, Anita Nigam from India, has extended her powers of the paranormal into another realm -- sports betting."
Why would any non-quack psychic be selling sport events betting forecasts instead of betting oneself?
5 posted on 12/31/2005 11:57:58 PM PST by GSlob
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To: GSlob

For the same reason so many gullible people pay brokers instead of just hiring a financial planner.


6 posted on 12/31/2005 11:59:38 PM PST by presidio9 (Islam is as Islam does)
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To: presidio9
Sorry, I wrote "non-quack". If one knew for sure what one was doing in the stock market, there would be no reason to accept other people's money [as a broker] instead of exponentially growing one's own.
7 posted on 01/01/2006 12:02:44 AM PST by GSlob
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To: presidio9

8 posted on 01/01/2006 12:03:51 AM PST by Salamander (Cursed With Second Sight)
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To: presidio9

Sadly, Brazil will most likely win the cup, they have an easy division, and the Argies, and English and Spain are not up to the challenge, nor France. USA is in a killer division with the highly rated Czech Republic and eternal quality side from Italy and the pretty good Ghana.

As far as the rest of 06, I would start a Death Pool thread, but last time I tried it got pulled.

Weenies.


9 posted on 01/01/2006 12:06:06 AM PST by Central Scrutiniser (What would Jesus do......for a Klondike bar?)
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To: GSlob
Why would any non-quack psychic be selling sport events betting forecasts instead of betting oneself?

Better question: Why wouldn't she be offering some pretty good odds on those who wish to bet against her predictions?
10 posted on 01/01/2006 12:08:08 AM PST by kingu
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To: Salamander

Happy New year.

11 posted on 01/01/2006 12:08:52 AM PST by presidio9 (Islam is as Islam does)
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To: presidio9

Well....if it's my time to go, it's my time to go. Ain't much I can do about it.


12 posted on 01/01/2006 12:10:35 AM PST by Dan from Michigan ("What does a guy have to do to get fired around here?" - Darryl Rogers, former Lions Coach)
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To: GSlob

That's what I mean. If I really knew what to exect from the market, why would I waste my time investing other people's money?

Disclaimer: I'm still do something similiar, but our profits have more to do with leverage than individual returns.


13 posted on 01/01/2006 12:11:17 AM PST by presidio9 (Islam is as Islam does)
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To: presidio9

Eh.

What's the point?

A comet's gonna get us all.

[Happy New Year to you, too Presidio]...;)

14 posted on 01/01/2006 12:12:57 AM PST by Salamander (Cursed With Second Sight)
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To: Dan from Michigan

I intend to shriek in impotent protest.


15 posted on 01/01/2006 12:15:02 AM PST by Salamander (Cursed With Second Sight)
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To: presidio9; aculeus; dighton; Jeremiah Jr; Lijahsbubbe
With the possible exception of the Apocalypse, no single event inspires more fevered speculation that the Oscars -- who will be nominated, and who will win

Does this mean that Brokebuck Mountain will bring on the Apocalypse?

16 posted on 01/01/2006 12:15:53 AM PST by Thinkin' Gal (As it was in the days of NO...)
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To: Thinkin' Gal
Does this mean that Brokebuck Mountain will bring on the Apocalypse?

Armageddon tired of it already.

17 posted on 01/01/2006 12:17:49 AM PST by Coyoteman (I love the sound of beta decay in the morning!)
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To: Salamander

BTW: Annie Stanton (the comet lady) also predicts on her website that Jesus will be back in 2006. Literally. So we've got that going for us, which is nice.


18 posted on 01/01/2006 12:18:22 AM PST by presidio9 (Islam is as Islam does)
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To: Coyoteman

*rimshot*


19 posted on 01/01/2006 12:18:23 AM PST by Salamander (Cursed With Second Sight)
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To: decal


What were last years predictions?


20 posted on 01/01/2006 12:18:27 AM PST by Names Ash Housewares
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