Gossip, Is It a Good Thing?

On a recent Wednesday afternoon, Jack was returning to his office following lunch with an old friend. As he passed his supervisor’s office he couldn’t help but hear her chastising a fellow co-worker about consistently falsifying their expense reports. Rather than ignoring what was being said behind closed doors, Jack opted to stand nearby and listen to every lurid detail.

Satisfied that he completely understood the situation, Jack continued on to his office … but not before flagging two other co-workers to follow him in.

“Do I have something to tell you,” blurted Jack, barely able to control himself. “I just overheard Christine telling Alex that if she ever caught him falsifying his expense report again that she would not only have him fired but she would have the company sue him too!”

It all seems so easy, really. You hear something about someone else that is dripping with juicy, salacious details about a fellow co-worker, friend, or family member. Rather than just file that information away out of concern for this person's privacy, or even try to forget that you even heard it, you choose to share it with anyone who will listen to you.

Disturbingly enough, a recent article in the New York Times suggests gossip has replaced greed as the new G-word of the moment.

Not since Gordan Gekko uttered the phrase that defined a decade in the movie Wall Street, has a G-word caught my attention with such force. While the “Greed is good” mantra certainly summed up the 1980’s, I never thought “Gossip is good” would have the same ring to it. But apparently it does.

David Sloan Williams, a professor at the State University of New York at Binghampton, and author of “Darwin’s Cathedral” (a book about group behavior and evolution) said in the article, “…gossip appears to be a very sophisticated, multifunctional interaction which is important in policing behaviors in a group and defining group membership.”

Generally, the aforementioned article conveys that when two people come together to share information about a third party who is absent from the conversation, important information is not only being shared but also serves as a deterrent for people straying away from a set of pre-established rules within a group.

Call me old fashioned, label me a prude, but I just can’t seem to get a grasp on how gossip can possibly be good. This is not to say that I am any more innocent of gossiping from the next person. I hate to admit this but I have often been guilty of telling myself in the past that gossip is not gossip if what I am saying is based on documented fact. Why then, do I always come away from these gossipy gab sessions with friends and co-workers feeling guilty? Ah, another G-word in our midst. Guilt. But that is another article for another day.

I guess there is something wrong with me when I feel this way because Sarah Wert, a psychologist at Yale said in the New York Times article, “Not participating in gossip at some level can be unhealthy and abnormal.”

Many of these experts point to the value of gossip. They say it can sometimes serve as a warning to others regarding the negative effect that drug and alcohol abuse or an illicit affair can have on a person’s reputation.

While there are some extreme cases where gossip can actually help a situation, when it purposefully steps over the line to devalue another person it is certainly not a line worth crossing.

Long gone are the days of gossip being dismissed as white noise, unjustified blabbing, or personal vindictiveness. It is becoming more and more commonplace for us to say, ‘did you hear about so and so’, and not have to worry about whether we alienated another. If we are to put any faith in these studies, we are only doing our part to improve group dynamics at home and in the workplace, right?

If gossip is indeed good, our personal diaries will now be opened at an alarming rate, thus creating more open books than we know to what to do with.

Unfortunately, we live in a selfish society where people are telling us that gossip can be a positive thing. I believe that to be very self-serving behavior. Gossip denigrates the ability to take blame for anything. When we choose not to gossip there is a certain honesty factor that helps build our character in several key areas including integrity, compassion, and forgiveness. Personally, I feel there is a tremendous value to be placed on these character traits.

What does the Bible have to say about gossip? Contrary to what the experts are saying, God is very clear that gossip is NOT a good thing. Here are just a few of the many passages of scripture that refute the concept that gossip can be a positive group dynamic:

"Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, `Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own eye, then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye."

We have stopped evaluating others by what the world thinks about them. Once I mistakenly thought of Christ that way, as though he were merely a human being. How differently I think about him now! What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun!

Don't grumble about each other, my brothers and sisters, or God will judge you. For look! The great Judge is coming. He is standing at the door!

Don't speak evil against each other, my dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize each other and condemn each other, then you are criticizing and condemning God's law. But you are not a judge who can decide whether the law is right or wrong. Your job is to obey it. God alone, who made the law, can rightly judge among us. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to condemn your neighbor?

Whenever you speak, or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law of love, the law that set you free. For there will be no mercy for you if you have not been merciful to others. But if you have been merciful, then God's mercy toward you will win out over his judgment against you.

Exactly...Unforunately many people (The Gossip Mongers) think gossip is *good therapy* for what truly ails them which is negative,meaningless and useless conversation..These are people that actually are ignored in the full spectrum of day to day living.

Hopefully some see the errors of thier ways, but so many people are caught up in malicious gossip in a group setting. Perhaps in a different situation they might be different people.

Sigh.
I'm afraid gossip is here to stay.

It's fodder for the mundane, warm fuzzies for the news starved and bored; it's manna from heaven when the bad gossip is about someone who is a grade-A, blue-ribbon a****le.
I know it's Schadefreude but it's also nice to be around to watch/hear when what goes around......finally comes around.

Nasty gossip about rotten politicians such as "Hit Rock Bottom" with Hillary Rodham, Ted "Hic!" Kennedy and their ilk really is just plain fun. I LOVED Dick Morris' book Hillary. It was chock full of verified gossip. Sorry to say but I did enjoy it very much.

Nasty gossip about movie stars is just boring to me but many Sleazywood-philes LIVE for it.

The line between passing on NEWS about people and gossiping is....what? an opinion? a feeling? Who designates that it is "useless"? Who designates it as "bad"?

I know, I know. The Christian thing is to never say anything bad or negative about anyone, ever, even though the seven deadly sins of anger, pride, envy, lust, sloth and gluttony DO NOT include "gossip."
I can think of so many worse sins than gossip. Abortion comes to mind.

Lol, will ya just listen to me?

I just recently re-discovered Last Days Ministries (Melody & Keith Green). Here's a link to their website, and a great tract on Gossip written by Melody Green. Also, check out many more tracts in the Article Index of tracts. By the way, there are some great pro-life tracts listed on the page.

They also have an Online Store for purchasing books, CD's, DVD's, song books, tracts, etc.

The problem with gossip IMO is 99% of what is mentioned is untrue, yet so many people prey on Gossip, because it fullfills something lacking in themselves.

Politicians and Celebrities obviously get the brunt of gossip as they are in the limelight and gossip goes with the territory.

Most chit chat gossip I have read about or someone has told me in regards to another, usually is always negative and IMHO pretty much a bore, that goes in one ear and right out the other.

If someone has positive uplifting comments they like to share about people,I always enjoy hearing about that...

Now don't you remember that episode of "I Love Lucy" where Lucy and Ethel bet Ricky and Fred who can go the longest without gossipping?

In order to trap L&E, R&F say something about the plumber fooling around with the milkman's wife, or some such. Rather than claim victory, L&E cannot resist spreading the gossip.

R&F claim victory because L&E were the first to gossip. L&E say no, they heard it from R&F. R&F say they weren't gossipping because they knew the story wasn't true.

The next day or so, the milkman is chasing the plumber around the apartment -- so apparently, the story is true.
R&F admit defeat.

At the end of the episode, L&E are paying off the milkman and plumber for helping them win their bet with R&F.

Now not everyone shares R&F's view of what gossip is. Etymology is not much help -- it is related to the Middle English "godsib," meaning "godparent." Now you might think that a godparent would not tell lies about his or her godchildren, and not even unflattering but true stories either.

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