NSA RESOLVES ‘AMERICAN IDOL’ PHONE VOTING CONTROVERSY

Dateline Hollywood ^

[Sir Gawain]

NSA RESOLVES ‘AMERICAN IDOL’ PHONE VOTING CONTROVERSY

Spy agency confirms Chris Daughtry got the most votes

Hollywood – Officials from the National Security Agency have confirmed rumors that an error in the “American Idol” phone voting system led to contestant Chris Daughtry being voted off in favor of Katharine McPhee. “We cannot reveal how we obtained the knowledge, but we feel it is of paramount importance that the American people know Chris was totally robbed,” said NSA Director Lt. Gen. Keith B. Alexander.

Rumors of a mix-up have swirled online since Daughtry was eliminated from “Idol” last Tuesday to the surprise of many viewers. Supporters of the bald rocker have alleged that an error in the phone system led to votes for him counting for Katharine McPhee, who many thought would be eliminated. Both Fox and AT&T, which run the phone voting, denied any mistakes.

“We believe the error was caused by [host] Ryan Seacrest misreading phone numbers on the air and we have sent him for remedial 3rd grade math lessons to prevent future mistakes of this kind,” said a Fox spokesperson.

But the NSA has released exact records of every call made to the voting lines for Daughtry and McPhee, with names of those calling redacted, thus forcing the network to admit the error.

Alexander refused to comment on how or why he knew about the error. But according to a report yesterday in the “Life” section of USA Today, the NSA has been monitoring “American Idol” voting as part of its controversial terrorist surveillance program since 2002 when the show debuted.

“Soon after the end of the first season, we got a call directly from the Oval Office demanding to know if ‘that curly haired munchkin Justin was robbed,’” a source at the NSA told USA Today. “When we said we didn’t know, this person used his powers under the authorization of force passed by Congress to demand that we track all future ‘American Idol’ voting for possible Al Qaeda involvement.”

While NSA officials were skeptical at first, they found a correlation between support for Al Qaeda and votes for winner Ruben Stoddard in season two that led to several arrests and the prevention of a planned terrorist attack.

Some Democrats are criticizing the disclosure of the voting records, calling it a blatantly political move. If so, it seems to have worked, as President Bush’s approval rating and support for his “terrorist surveillance program have skyrocketed to 91% and 99%, respectively, in the past several days.

[Sir Gawain]

-

[The Ghost of FReepers Past]

No way does it make sense that Chris is gone, especially when McPhee and Taylor are still there. The only one left even slightly worthy of a win is Elliot.

[downtoliberalism]

Where is the sarcasm tag on this thread?

[Sir Gawain]

TOPICS: Humor

[BJClinton]

sarchasm (sär'kz'm)
1. (n.) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.

[dixiechick2000]

LOL!


I knew this monitoring program would solve
our most pressing problems of the day. ;o)

[glock rocks]

mass/volume :o}