Posted on 07/25/2006 5:10:27 AM PDT by Millee
In the gay world, there are those in the closet, those who are out, those who can't admit to themselves they are gay, and then there are people like Mike Haley - an "ex-gay" who works for the anti-gay organization Focus on the Family.
As hundreds of people prayed during a peace vigil Saturday evening for Focus founder James Dobson to stop promoting hate, Focus spokesman Gary Schneeberger stood by a media tent waiting to make introductions to reporters.
They had a tent, and it might as well have been a circus. ("Step right up and meet our amazing 'ex-gay' employees!") I was waiting for the bearded lady to show up.
Instead, I got Haley.
There are many ironies in Haley's story. He says he used to despise Focus on the Family and its founder, James Dobson: "I hated Dr. Dobson, and he knows it."
But that was then, back when Haley says he was looking for love in all the wrong places.
Today he is the director of Gender Issues for FOTF, the nonprofit Christian organization that seems obsessed with homosexuality.
That explains why Haley heads a team of five staffers - including two other "ex-gays" I met - who run conferences where they preach that people can "walk away" from being gay.
Haley says he lived for 12 years as a gay man before realizing that no one in the world, including him, can really be gay. His views on what shapes homosexuality are complicated, but boil down to this: Gayness happens because of gender confusion, brought on, in large part, by a weak relationship with a father.
During his gay years, he had a series of relationships with men. He even got arrested for prostitution. (He says he wanted to see how much someone was willing to pay for him.)
"I didn't find what I wanted," Haley told me in a tiny room within the vast Focus on the Family compound. "I got tired of going through relationship after relationship and being heartbroken."
Haley, who bears a resemblance to actor Greg Kinnear, is 43 and now happily married (to a woman, of course).
He said as a gay man he realized he would never find commitment. At gay clubs, he would notice that "the
only ones left are 50-year-old pot- bellied men." He said the 26-year-olds with ripped abs all had someone to go home with. (Interestingly, his 20-something self was still around to take note of that.)
So with fear in his heart, worried he'd be alone for the rest of his life, he started to do research and left gayhood at age 28.
With all the bogus research out there on gay people, it wasn't hard for Haley to find the teachings of Dobson, and the work of oddball researchers who insist that people aren't born gay - even though it flies in the face of countless academic studies that show there is a biological component to being gay.
I wonder: If Haley found a man he loved who was willing to commit to him, would be have remained gay?
He claims that gay men don't have long-lasting relationships, but I know many gay men who are in long-term relationships.
He doesn't address the issue of lesbians, who are overly commital. The old joke about lesbians bringing a U-Haul on the second date has everything to do with the fact that as women - whether gay or straight - they are more inclined to want commitment.
That might explain why his colleague, Melissa Fryrear, a 40-year-old ex-lesbian who works for Haley, is single, but hoping to get married "if God decides I should."
If God is the one calling the shots, then he's apparently decided several of my gay friends should be in long-term relationships.
Every gay guy I have ever met had bad relationships with their father, had no father, or were molested by a grown man as a child.
Exactly.
You can tell this article was written by someone who hates Dr. Dobson.
It's interesting how a social leftist won't question the homosexual who leaves his wife and kids for another man...That person is being true to himself, decided to stop living a lie, etc...But let a homosexual decide he doesn't want to live this way anymore, and he takes steps to change his lifestyle, and he's looked at with suspicion and unbelief.
I think we need to start putting 'gay' in quotes when people call themselves gay.
It is so nice to read a well balanced unbiased article for a change....
Really. It was hard to notice her vile hatred spewing out throughout the entire article.
Are they "countless" because there aren't any?
Indeed. Here's something I post occasionally:
There is no genetic test or procedure (experimental or otherwise) that can determine one's sexual orientation. When people claim to be gay and we believe them, what we're really doing is taking them at their word. We believe their claim, we believe their testimony and we believe their declaration that they are gay.
But there are some people who are suddenly skeptical when one claims to be ex-gay. They don't believe the ex-gay claim, they don't believe the ex-gay testimony nor their declaration that they are ex-gay.
When somebody uses a certain standard to measure the credibility of what one group says, but then refuses to use the same standard to measure the credibility of what another group says--thereby ignoring the claims of the second group (ex-gays)--he should ask himself why he believes one group and not the other... This is a double standard.
I have come to know this author and she is as biased as they come. A literal shill for the colorado democrat party.
Amazing what passes for journalism these days
Perfect for the Denver Post. Between her, Diane Carmen & Jim (I'm a man who menstrates) Spencer, I wouldn't buy that paper to wrap fish in.
You can read Mike Haley's testimony of leaving the gay life here: The Great Escape.
I Do Exist
People Can Change
Research Shows Change is Real
A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality
How Might Homosexuality Develop? Putting the Pieces Together
Homosexual Agenda Keyword Search
Freepmail DBeers or scripter to subscribe or unsubscribe from the homosexual agenda ping list.
BTTT and note to self to read all of scripter's links.
(BTW we just got a Dodge truck with a Cummins engine. Yippeee - a vehicle with A/C at last! Saw yours on that thread.)
I think you'll really like it. I love mine! It came with the camper package which means it has two batteries and stiffer suspension, and that works great out great for us.
Ours is a "new to us", we're going to add a tow bar and see what we can drag down the road.
I just read what I wrote... I think it's nap time. :-)
Equal to spellign thincgs funnie.
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