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Why Mickelson Will Never Win Another Major
Vanity | August 19, 2006 | Doc Savage

Posted on 08/19/2006 5:31:36 PM PDT by Doc Savage

Allow me a small amount of vanity bandwidth to explain why Phil will never win another Major Championship. Obesity.

When he turned pro out of college he was slim, trim and flexible. His talent was amazing.

Yes he has won twenty-odd tournaments, and yes he did win two Masters, but to see him striding the fairways of Medinah is to painfully watch a middle-aged couch-potato waddle slowly down the fairway as his ponderous breasts sag through his sweat-soaked shirt. He needs a Cosmo Kramer Bro!

His face is bloated almost beyond recognition to his rookie year. His middle is a heaving gelatinous mass of fat sweltering in his girth.

You can actually hear his labored breathing during the post-round interview. This is a guy who needs to lose some serious weight if he ever wants to contend again.

Now I like Phil. I loved watching the "old" Phil play. But unless he reduces now I believe he will not be a major factor again. Naturally I assume many of you disagree. But I don't believe you can disagree with the premise that he needs to lose a lot weight.


TOPICS: Sports
KEYWORDS: breasts; bro; fat; golf; mansierre; mickelson; obesity; porky

1 posted on 08/19/2006 5:31:37 PM PDT by Doc Savage
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To: Doc Savage

John Daley did not do too bad as a fat drunk.


2 posted on 08/19/2006 5:32:40 PM PDT by Always Right
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To: Doc Savage

Craig Stadler?


3 posted on 08/19/2006 5:32:56 PM PDT by chasio649
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To: Doc Savage

Two words. Craig Stadler.

Go Lefty!


4 posted on 08/19/2006 5:33:07 PM PDT by ritewingwarrior (Where does free speech end, and sedition begin?)
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To: chasio649

haha you beat me to it.


5 posted on 08/19/2006 5:33:23 PM PDT by ritewingwarrior (Where does free speech end, and sedition begin?)
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To: Doc Savage

The year he won the Master's he lost a lot of weight. Too bad he gained it back.

Now Tiger. That guy is in world class athlete type shape.


6 posted on 08/19/2006 5:33:37 PM PDT by Thane_Banquo ("Give a man a fish, make him a Democrat. Teach a man to fish, make him a Republican.")
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To: Doc Savage
This is a guy who needs to lose some serious weight if he ever wants to contend again.

And this is news because....?

7 posted on 08/19/2006 5:35:38 PM PDT by WideGlide (That light at the end of the tunnel might be a muzzle flash.)
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To: Doc Savage

so it was philly's stomach's fault that he hit driver on the eighteenth at winged foot.


8 posted on 08/19/2006 5:38:26 PM PDT by JohnLongIsland
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To: Doc Savage

So tell Phil that........

What is it that you are proposing? A PGA rule about the weight of players? State laws of weight limitations on golf courses?

If he is a contender he's a contender, if he's not, it's no one's fault but his own. And no one else's business.


9 posted on 08/19/2006 5:40:18 PM PDT by Gabz (Taxaholism, the disease you elect to have (TY xcamel))
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To: Doc Savage

In his rookie year he was called "Fat Jack".

10 posted on 08/19/2006 5:41:05 PM PDT by mdittmar (May God watch over those who serve,and have served, to keep us free.)
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To: Doc Savage
Surely, Phil feels keenly how unfair it is that the greatest golfer of all time showed up just after Phil did. Billy Casper won 51 tournaments, 7 of them majors, despite a physique remarkably similar to Phil. Indeed, Nicklaus was quite chunky his first ten years on tour.

So, one of these days, crazy Phil finally will snap and go after Tiger with his driver--the only question is whether he uses his hook or fade driver. Tiger will elude him easily, of course, because, as you pointed out, Phil is out of shape.

One can only hope that something will intervene to prevent that final catastrophe and indignity for poor Lefty.

11 posted on 08/19/2006 5:43:20 PM PDT by Hebrews 11:6 (Do you REALLY believe that (1) God is, and (2) God is good?)
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To: Doc Savage
It's not the spare tire that will insure he never wins another major, it's the concrete between his ears.

He golfs the ball, he doesn't play golf. He seemed to have figured it out a couple of years ago, but he's gone back to his old ways, overswinging with the driver and hoping he can live with the results.

Just another Tom Weiskopf, talent without a capacity for strategic thought.
12 posted on 08/19/2006 5:45:53 PM PDT by decal (The Key To Flexibility is Indecision)
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To: Doc Savage
Mickelson is talented, and ranked very high in the PGA standings. However, I agree, the guy needs to lose at least 25 lbs.. The majority of golfers you see out there today, that are on the leader board in major tournaments, appear to be in good shape. Tiger Woods is definitely in some sort of weight training program ... he's buffed out and looks like a well conditioned athlete. Being married to a Swedish model, in addition to all the walking he does, I'm sure plays a role.
13 posted on 08/19/2006 5:46:52 PM PDT by BluH2o
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To: Doc Savage

I knew you guys would come out of the closet. We'll see. I hope he does win, but I think I'm right on this. Daly won the PGA at Crooked stick. If you go back and actually look a photos from the tournament he has some weird hair but was NOT obese at that point. A big boy, but not obese.
I will grant you that he was obese when he won the Open Championship, but he has NOT seriously contened SINCE!

Stadler should have died years ago but there is always an exception. Actually Kevin may beat him to the grave!

Let's watch Lefty next year. If he hasn't slimmed down I predict he never wins another major. The 84 Lumber Special maybe, but he's tasted the last Major of his career.


14 posted on 08/19/2006 5:47:17 PM PDT by Doc Savage (Bueller?....Bueller?...Bueller?...Bueller?...Pelosi?...Pelosi?...Pelosi?...)
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To: Gabz

Tim Herron is up on the leader board tonight and he a bit portly. Phil's game hasn't suffered from it - he is playing some good golf now.


15 posted on 08/19/2006 5:51:56 PM PDT by sjm_888
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To: Doc Savage

Did he gain all of this weight since this year's Masters or last year's PGA, because I believe he won both of them.


16 posted on 08/19/2006 6:02:55 PM PDT by GoDuke
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To: Doc Savage

You realize that if he does win another one, you will look foolish.

I assume you were one of those who said he couldn't win "the big one?"


17 posted on 08/19/2006 6:04:45 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (I LIKE you! When I am Ruler of Earth, yours will be a quick and painless death)
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To: Doc Savage

LOL

I don't think his weight is as big an issue as everyone makes it out to be.


18 posted on 08/19/2006 6:05:54 PM PDT by MikefromOhio (aka MikeinIraq - I BEEEEEEELLLLLLIIEEEEVVVEEEEEEE in the conspiracy of the flying knee....)
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To: Doc Savage

For Phil do do as well as he has is a great accomplishment. Most golf courses favor the right hander.


19 posted on 08/19/2006 6:08:24 PM PDT by socal_parrot
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To: Doc Savage

Funny read..


20 posted on 08/19/2006 6:49:18 PM PDT by skaterboy
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To: Doc Savage

I'm not into golf and hardly know who Phil Mickelson is, but I thought this was very good writing. Actually at first I thought it was from some national sports journalism source and I was surprised they could be so blunt.


21 posted on 08/19/2006 6:58:07 PM PDT by wideminded
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To: Thane_Banquo
"Now Tiger. That guy is in world class athlete type shape."No question, he is the best Phillipino athlete of all time, and may even become the best professional golfer of all time.
22 posted on 08/19/2006 7:06:45 PM PDT by traditional1
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To: traditional1
No question, he is the best Phillipino athlete of all time, and may even become the best professional golfer of all time.

I'm pretty sure he isn't Filipino....I'm almost 100% certain his Dad was black and his mom is Vietnamese....
23 posted on 08/19/2006 7:09:04 PM PDT by MikefromOhio (aka MikeinIraq - I BEEEEEEELLLLLLIIEEEEVVVEEEEEEE in the conspiracy of the flying knee....)
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To: MikefromOhio
You're correct, he's not Phillipino.

His Mother is Taiwanese...and his religion is Buddhist, same as hers.

24 posted on 08/19/2006 7:11:24 PM PDT by traditional1
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To: Doc Savage

I agree entirely with this; you can chart the media's darling by the curve of his stomach. This year is an up and down year - down at the chest, up at the middle, down toward the lowered beltline. Philly baby has no discipline hence no chance. He takes stupid chances every time he has a lead, typically with disastrous results. He isn't going to get better from here on in. BUT, his wife is beautiful and the kids as well.


25 posted on 08/19/2006 7:36:54 PM PDT by Rembrandt (We would have won Viet Nam w/o Dim interference.)
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To: BluH2o

"Being married to a Swedish model, in addition to all the 'walking' he does, I'm sure plays a role."

I would sure do a lot of "walking."


26 posted on 08/19/2006 7:39:51 PM PDT by Rembrandt (We would have won Viet Nam w/o Dim interference.)
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To: traditional1

"You're correct, he's not Phillipino.
His Mother is Taiwanese...and his religion is Buddhist, same as hers."

His mother is Thai; his father was a Green Beret, no doubt inserting into SVN from Korat or some other base in Thailand.


27 posted on 08/19/2006 7:43:06 PM PDT by Rembrandt (We would have won Viet Nam w/o Dim interference.)
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To: traditional1; MikefromOhio

Tiger describes himself as a "Caublinasian": Caucasian, Black, Indian, Asian.


28 posted on 08/19/2006 8:59:55 PM PDT by Hebrews 11:6 (Do you REALLY believe that (1) God is, and (2) God is good?)
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To: traditional1

I thought Tiger's mom was Thai...


29 posted on 08/19/2006 10:59:05 PM PDT by JRios1968 (This kid knows how to wallop a baseball!!!!!!)
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To: ritewingwarrior

My 2 cents, Tom Lehman recently did a weight loss overhaul and looks great! He missed the cut on Friday.

Go Phil! He doesn't have a chance in hell of winning. Down to 8 under after Saturdays round. Everyone on the leader board would have to have a rather BAD day on Sunday!


30 posted on 08/20/2006 4:05:54 AM PDT by poobear (Political Left, continually accusing their foes of what THEY themselves do every day.)
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To: poobear

You seem to forget Lehman ALMOST won the INTERNATIONAL last week. How quickly you forget!


31 posted on 08/20/2006 7:37:54 AM PDT by Doc Savage (Bueller?....Bueller?...Bueller?...Bueller?...Pelosi?...Pelosi?...Pelosi?...)
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To: Doc Savage
Nicklaus ...
32 posted on 08/20/2006 7:41:00 AM PDT by reg45
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To: Thane_Banquo
Now Tiger. That guy is in world class athlete type shape.

I'm surprised that the usual suspect hasn't shown up to tell us all how Tiger's juiced to the eyebrows.

33 posted on 08/20/2006 7:45:55 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Doc Savage

34 posted on 08/20/2006 8:29:42 AM PDT by BookmanTheJanitor
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To: Doc Savage

I didn't forget Doc. I was merely pointing out the fact that the weight of the player doesn't necessarily mean he or she will play favorably as the original poster noted regarding Mickleson.

I love Tom Lehman and met him here in Orlando. Great guy. His recent exercise regime has made him feel great and play better than he has in years! You're barking up the wrong avid golf fan tree here.


35 posted on 08/20/2006 10:51:06 AM PDT by poobear (Political Left, continually accusing their foes of what THEY themselves do every day.)
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