Posted on 03/02/2007 9:45:24 AM PST by Alex Murphy
GREENWOOD, S.C. — Homeschool secessionists have seized control of western parts of South Carolina and declared the world's first Homeschool Republic. Last week the governor gave in to key demands, allowing groups to exert local control.
"This is not the time to increase tensions by calling out the National Guard," he said. "Hopefully, the homeschoolers will be reasonable."
Homeschoolers immediately called attention to the mis-use of the word "hopefully" in the governor's statement and said, "This basic grammatical mistake exemplifies why our nation is failing, and why we must return to the principles of home-based education." They then listed 200 leading Americans who had been homeschooled.
The homeschool republic plans to harness the "military might of citizen militias" and the "intellectual and moral fortitude" of its homeschool students to create a state based on America's founding principles.
Around secessionist territories little appeared different. But public schools sat vacant. Streets had been renamed after American Revolutionaries. Citizen-guards stood on street corners with what appeared to be muskets, and a "Flogging schedule" was posted in the town square. Some public signs were altered to give them olde English spellings.
Citizens who oppose secession complain about compulsory church and 4-H attendance and the mandate that "alle Citizens withine thees Territories shall perforce memorize the Declaration of Independence and at least one Sample of the Federalist Papers."
The secessionists have asked Ollie North to serve as their first governor. North says he supports the right of citizens to topple their government, but "isn't sure this is the time and the place."
PTL/HAIR PING
LOL! Nice satire.
"a "Flogging schedule" was posted"
Could use this in real life!
Are you mocking us? ;)
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