Posted on 03/14/2007 8:50:03 AM PDT by 7thson
You probably think you know what frightens most men. A long-weekend at the in-laws' place. Antiquing. Running out of beer in the third quarter. But that's just the stuff he'll admit to being afraid of, which, by definition, means they're not his true deep fears. So how can you determine what those are? Easy: They're the ones he'll almost never talk about. But I will.
Let's count down through the Scary Fifteen:
#15 Hair in the drain.
#14 Getting caught noticing another woman.
#13 Rejection.
#12 Super Nanny.
#11 Speedos.
#10 His dad's death.
#9 Her tears.
#8 Being a lousy lover.
#7 Not being a god to his kids.
#6 Living paycheck to paycheck.
#5 Beautiful women.
#4 Getting naked.
#3 Tofurky.
#2 Not seeing his kids grow up.
# 1 Public humiliation.
(Excerpt) Read more at health.yahoo.com ...
I have it together today, not. There is a sitcom about to air called the "Started Wife".
Hillary as CIC
YIKES!
Where on Earth did you find that? Maybe don't tell me. It's sad to know freaks like this hang out in public someplace.
Being a donut in front of rosie o'donnell.
Matrimony! It scares ( PAINS ) me just typing it. :)
A woman walking into the bedroom room and sees his shrinkage after a cold swim in the pool and she leaves the room laughing.
Elaine: "It shrinks?"
Jerry: "Like a frightened turtle!"
Elaine: "Why"
George: "It just does."
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
I 2nd Elaine.
And I really don't know how you guys RUN around with those things.
It's a new movie coming out, not a television program.
Like Kramer, I am afraid of clowns.
Doesn't "#11 Speedos" and "#1 Public humiliation" kind of go together?
Hmmm...well, it's never happened, but if I had ever had a one night stand and the woman called me up eight weeks later saying she was pregnant, the only Carlin sketch I can think of that would relate is the "Seven Words You Can't Say" bit.
I guess priapism would be the "opposite" of that particular fear.
Well at least you would always have somewhere to hang your hat.
Me too DV! Clowns are evil.
Ring... ring...
Hello?
Hello, this is Jaaaaane.
Jane? Jane... who?
Jaaaaaaaaane.
Jane.... Jane?
Yeah, remember? You met me at a party about 6 to 8 weeks ago? You said I was a reeeeally good sport?
Oh, geeze... that Jane. Oh, yeah, well... Jane, how are you?
Pregnant. And I feel like I want to jump out the window!
Say, Jane, you really ARE a good sport, aren't you...
***I think this was from the FM & AM album (just before Class Clown)***
I know. I realized that from your posting. For some reason I am having a Monday today. My thoughts are not making to my fingertips to post them correctly :)
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