Police: Man Had Sex With Picnic Table

NBC10.com ^ | 3-28-08

[kingattax]

Anonymous Tip Led Police To Arrest

BELLEVUE, Ohio -- Police said an Ohio man has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a picnic table.

Police arrested Arthur Price Jr. after an anonymous tipster dropped off three DVDs that reportedly showed Price in the act.

According to NBC Toledo, Ohio, affiliate WNWO-TV, the videos show Price tilting the metal round picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to have sexual intercourse with the table. Afterward, he can then be seen cleaning the table and the deck.

During questioning, he reportedly admitted to having sex with the table. Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex.

Price faces four counts of public indecency. He was freed after posting $20,000 bond, authorities said

[kingattax]

just when you think you've heard it all...

[cripplecreek]

There must have been a sliver of hope that the table would love him back but alas it wood knot.

[goldstategop]

Its the next grossest thing to having sex with a bicycle.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

[fishtank]

http://search.live.com/images/results.aspx?q=%22picnic+table%22&mkt=en-us&scope=&FORM=LIVSOP

[ElkGroveDan]

Before long they’ll be fighting for his right to marry the table.

[joebuck]

His friends are all laughing at him becuase he picked the ugliest table in the park.

[neodad]

Stay away from the potato salad.

[Migraine]

What are those holes?

They’re knotholes.

Well then, if they’re not holes, what are they?

Knotholes.

[stevio]

Pictures of the picnic table?

[frankenMonkey]

I just don't think you can "have sex" with a pinic table...
Hopefully there were splinters involved.

[Froufrou]

You wood know he’d be caught, too.

[The Brush]

I remember once, in band camp....

[cubreporter]

THAT was a riot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rocky]

Nice puns, but it was a metal table.

The world is stranger than fiction.

[Brilliant]

Since when is it a crime to have sex with a consenting picnic table?

[blackdog]

He may face some minor legal difficulties over this, but he'll come out way ahead after considering the alternative.

Dating women, marriage, child support, alimony, kids thru college,..........

I'll take the table any day.

[NoGrayZone]

“Police said an Ohio man has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a picnic table.”

I’m sure the picnic table fought back hard.

[OSHA]

Porn?

[Psycho_Bunny]

No...there’s that British mechanic who dresses in lingerie and has sex with the tailpipes of SUVs.

[elcid1970]

Chair wants the floor! No, I table the motion!

(No one of normal tendencies can possibly make this stuff up!)

[BGHater]

WTH? Was it a 'public' picnic table or 'private'? How much was the table charging? I hope he used protection.

[blackdog]

Imagine the time this guy would have at the Jersey shore boardwalk..........

[NoGrayZone]

Well, maybe he had a few beers first!

[DancesWithBolsheviks]

Will the table get a book deal?

[Billthedrill]

Prison scene:

"Yew gotcha a purdy mouth. What're ya in fer, boy?"
"Having sex with a picnic table."
"Git away fum me, pervert!"

[Harold Shea]

Hope he doesn`t do this again (knock on wood)

[NoGrayZone]

Victims are not named, let alone pictured!!!!

[Old Sarge]

During questioning, he reportedly admitted to having sex with the table.

Kind of turned the tables on himself, with that...

Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex.

Is that corruption of a minor?

[Nachum]

Policeman:

Sir, would you like to explain yourself here?

Man

Oh wood I, wood I...

[stevio]

My bad.

[kingattax]

lol sarge

[Drew68]

It is difficult to determine “guilty” or “not guilty” without a photo of the picnic table.

[NoGrayZone]

See post 27.

[CJ Wolf]

This is gonna be up on youporn in no time.

[Steamburg]

The world is stranger than fiction.
___________________________________

If it was below freezing the quote might be, “the world is stranger than friction.”

[brwnsuga]

I have it on good authority that that picnic table was a ho anyway.

[stylecouncilor]

ping

[RikaStrom]

I don't think you can have sex "with" a table. Against the table, yes...perhaps use it for stimulation, yes...but not "with".

It puts a whole new spin on the "tin roof rusted" statement!

[DoughtyOne]

Looks like the powers that be are set to table that motion.

[indylindy]

Hmm, I am starting to get it. Large tops, wide seats, sturdy legs. Its all making sense now. /s

[blackdog]

If the table had a tablecloth, does that mean she’s of the Islamic faith? Mixed marriages never work.

[NoGrayZone]

“Nice puns, but it was a metal table”

Well then it’s not a crime. We ALL know the “metals” never say no!!!

[Joe 6-pack]

I heard the table had really nice legs, but was a little on the flat side up top.

[lonestar]

just when you think you've heard it all...

just exactly what I was going to say!

[TheBigB]

She wuz askin' for it... ;-)

[GOPologist]

******There must have been a sliver of hope that the table would love him back but alas it wood knot>******

Better yet; one would hope that there would be sliver large enough to pierce his “manhood.” lmao

[thecabal]

First, the guy raped by a wombat, now this? Must be the day to fly your freak flag high...

[NoGrayZone]

“If the table had a tablecloth, does that mean she’s of the Islamic faith? “

I hope not...that’s a certain death for her!

[indylindy]

Must have been why he was arrested. Poor taste! LOL;)

[nuconvert]

“Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex. “

Did he make it a nice dinner first?